Breakeven
by cronaisawriter
Summary: Adora and Catra were each other's rock, the stable force in a world that was uncaring and harsh. But when Adora is accepted to Grayskull Academy she is given a chance at whole other life, and their worlds are shifted for good. A life of heartbreak might not be the only option for Adora. But that doesn't help the ones left behind. (cross-posted on AO3 under the same name)
1. Changes on The Wind, Part I: Adora

Chapter 1: Change on the wind, Part I: Adora

_CW__: Implied/referenced child abuse, Implied referenced violence against children_

**Chapter Text**

Adora O'Sullivan sat outside the headmaster's office of her new school. The Grayskull Academy, a prep school for kids who had had ambitions to be influential adults. For most this was a given from their influential parents, they had the money to come, but it shaped you to be the best at everything. It was rumoured their politics classes was more 'how to get what you want in politics'.

Adora did not have influential parents, she actually had zero parents, what she did have was one in a million soccer skills and a very good application essay. It was a bit embarrassing because it was likely everyone would know she was here on a charity case, she didn't really belong here with those people, but it was a great opportunity to become someone who mattered and not end up right where she came from. She could do so much, she could actually help people. She could do everything she needed, be as perfect as possible matter as much as people expected her to.

"Ms Hope will see you now." A secretary said.

Adora sat in front of a rather intimidating tall lady. Her whole office was covered in weird crystals which gave off a light that made everything feel otherworldly.

"It's good to meet you in person Adora." She said in an almost robotic tone.

"Oh, umm nice to meet you too," Adora replied feeling very awkward.

"I'm glad you could come to visit the school before you start. This school is hard and we expect excellence, something I believe you are capable of achieving. However, it will be an adjustment from your previous schooling. Not only will the coursework be more challenging, but we also expect participation in activities and as you are a junior this year you should be in a leadership role in at least one of your two required extracurricular activities."

"Yes, Ma'am," Adora said with a sharp nod.

"This school produces the most influential people in all walks of life this means the opportunity you have been given should not be wasted. Keep that in mind, behave and you have the ability to flourish here as I am sure you want to. We got quite a few applications and to be honest you were a bit of a gamble. We had a few other options that didn't have any shall we say, liabilities in their past. But one of our board of governors suggested that all other factors being equal we should choose someone like yourself, the definition of at-risk youth to test our theory of education. Having you here in an environment the supports you and other students with your degree potential and not those dragging you down she thinks you can succeed, I hope you will prove her correct"

Adora nodded again. She wasn't exactly sure she liked the way this Ms Hope said liabilities. She knew that 'those dragging her down' was referring to Catra. They had been partners in everything for as long as she could remember. Anytime Adora did get in trouble it was with Catra, but not all because of her. Catra could do anything, Adora knew she was smart enough she just wasn't as good at hiding her emotions, controlling her impulses and was bad at not getting caught.

"If you go into the lobby your schedule and a copy of the school guidebook for you to pick up. Fellow students, Ms Glimmer Moon & Mr Bow Richardson will show you around and give a students view of things."

"Thank you, Ms Hope" Adora nodded.

A girl with pink hair and a purple romper leaned against the table looking bored by a boy with black hair cut short around his head and a t-shirt with a big red heart on it.

"You must be Adora." the boy said

"Yes, I'm Adora."

"I'm Bow, and my slightly grumpy friend here is Glimmer."

"Hi. Adora. And I'm not grumpy Bow I just didn't really want to spend my second to last day of real summer at school."

"Okay but you signed up to be on the welcoming committee. We have to welcome people" Bow explained

"I thought it would just be freshman night." Glimmer pouted

Adora looked at her schedule while they bickered.

"Okay." Glimmer said with a long breath, "What is your first class?"

"Huh?" Adora said glancing up "First class what is it?" Glimmer asked.

"Oh umm, calculus with Mr Brown," Adora said.

"Well come on," Glimmer said walking out.

"Don't be bothered by her, I promise not really mad, especially not at you." Bow said

Adora snorted, "Yeah I know I've seen mad"

The school felt like something out of a Victorian novel. It all was so clean, and the air conditioning worked in every room.

They went through her class schedule tracing the fastest paths. Adora was a bit overwhelmed by everything and Glimmer seemed content to explain everything without Adora's input with short breaks to complain about her mother. They headed to the locker rooms which didn't even smell like blood and sweat which was cool it was only slight BO. Looking at the equipment dragged Adora's mind to Catra. They had been on the same soccer team since they played co-ed in second grade, it was their escape for years. There was a part of her that wished Catra could be there now she would be blown away by how much there was and the uniforms for that year was new, actually new.

Adora felt a tap on her shoulder setting off alarm bells in her brain. In one fluid motion, she threw the assaulter to the ground with a crash.

"Oh I'm sorry," Adora said looking at the stunned Bow looking up at her.

"What the hell?" Glimmer said looking at her quizzically.

"I'm sorry," Adora said again,

"That was impressive and painful." Bow said struggling to sit up.

Adora offered her hand getting him to his feet.

"What do you study?" Glimmer asked more curious than angry.

"Study?"

"Yeah. I do taekwondo and Judo." Glimmer said

"Oh, none? I just know how to fight." Adora said the real reason would probably be frowned upon by this school. "He scared me, I was distracted I'm sorry."

"Look it's fine. As long as you don't do it again out of the ring I can let it slide." Bow said shrugging.

"Thanks," Adora said blushing.

"Well come on. I'll show you to the main hall, we'll pass by student government building. I think that should be your leadership option any job there counts." Glimmer said sighing

Adora followed behind. Walking back through it the school felt less impressive and more confusing and big. She had to admit she didn't think she would get chosen when filling out the application, it had been Mostly Shadow Weaver who wanted it, and her guidance counsellor at school. They wanted her leadership to be used for good and not ever actually proven illegal activity. Apparently, it was the wrong kind of business sense. Never mind all Adora wanted the money for was medication, ice packs, band-aids and the like. Adora had people to take care of, but no one did care about that it was still just ill-gotten gains.

Adora's thoughts brought her all the way to Glimmer showing her a large room full of chairs in a semi-circle, a podium and a smartboard.

"I give you student government" Glimmer exclaimed doing her best Vanna White impression.

"Looks fancy," Adora said.

"Not really usually pretty boring unless someone starts a fight that is." Bow said.

"Right' Adora groaned.

The bus ride back home was way too long for Adora's liking she felt antsy. She busied herself reading the student handbook. It had long portions about expected grades easy enough. High performance in extracurriculars not that had she could do sports easy, and student government would work she could do that. The behaviour code and attendance rules was why she was worried. Flipping someone to the ground was probably frowned upon, turning down her alertness was not something she was good at. She couldn't stop being good at fighting through or people got hurt, people always got hurt. She shook her head to try and keep her mind away from the bad things, focus on making a plan. She had her school schedule worked out, and when she would need to leave to be on time, she had her uniform Ms Razz from next door had made alterations for her so that was done. Her scholarship covered lunches so that was done. She had homework time planned out. She had started writing behaviour code notes picking out the ones she would struggle with. Again the idea of attendance drifted back into her brain. You needed your parents to vouch for you (Adora noticed they didn't even bother with adding 'guardian' to their instructions) which was a problem because Shadow Weaver wasn't known to call in when Adora missed school to keep a concussed Catra from hurting herself more, even if it was Shadow Weaver's own fault.

Adora jumped from the bus. It was amazing the change from Etheria country to Horde county. The whole atmosphere changed, the hyper manicured sprawling lawns gave way to brown patches killed by the August heat and car exhaust. The Mc mansions became a mix of section eight housing, trailer parks, cramped duplex and old houses. Walking inside her run down group home she greeted by a jumping hug from Catra.

"Hey, Adora!" Catra shouted.

"Nice to see you, Adora, Tell me everything," Shadow Weaver said pulling Adora from Catra's embrace earning them a glare from Catra.

"It was nice Ms Weaver," Afora said sitting at the kitchen table.

Meg and Lily were already at the table they were the current other residents in the Girls home. Meg had been there for two weeks a veteran foster kid and at age 9 was not that much of disruption to business as usual pretty nice but aloof. Lily was only seven had been there a few months, she was always a disruption to the point it was normal.

Adora gave the rundown of everything that happened skipping the assault on Bow. Shadow Weaver seemed really impressed making Catra smile glad that she was making Shadow Weaver proud even if Catra rolled her eyes so much during the conversation it must have hurt. Lily seemed to be having enough of the conversation and had started making art with her mashed potatoes much to the disgust of Meg. Shadow Weaver seemed pleased by her report and dismissed the girls to the living room to watch TV or 'whatever it is you do'. Sitting in the living room watching television with Catra sprawled out on her as they half-watched tv felt so normal it was hard to believe that going to Grayskull would change anything.


	2. Changes on The Wind, Part II: Catra

Changes on The Wind, Part II: Catra

CW: Child abuse, mild drug use, child neglect

Catra sat in window smoking one foot lazily hanging out the window. Catra was not pleased with the current way things were going. She did not want Adora to go to some snooty school, she wanted her to stay. They were a team, they had each other's backs. School had never really been Catra's strong suit not since well forever. She rubbed almost everyone the wrong way but not Adora never Adora. Adora was everyone favourite because she had "potential" but Adora hadn't ever left her before, starting school with no one watching her back was daunting. She wouldn't have anyone to back her up she couldn't take the full might of the Cadets, a gang of annoying teens, alone, she could handle the teachers but she was always one step from suspension (once almost expulsion but that wasn't likely to happen again) Catra was good at talking her way out of things but Adora's honest face combined with her own silver tongue was killer. It also helped that Adora just seemed to be loved by everyone, or at least respected. Catra didn't know if she would be enough to avoid the worst of everyone's anger alone.

She was pulled from her thoughts when Adora sat next to her. Catra offered Adora a drag, who shook her head.

"The new school drug tests for sports."

"So does our school doesn't mean people follow through"

"The behaviour and excellence of honour codes seem really strict."

"Excellence code?"

"Yeah, this school likes that word. And respect, Honor all that."

"Sounds stuffy"

"Yeah. But the school is so fancy. They have a ceiling in like every room"

"Weird flex but okay," Catra said with a smile as Adora shoved her with her shoulder.

Catra flinched more than was appropriate garnering a concerned expression from Adora. She slid into mother hen mode lifting Catra's shirt without even asking.

"Don't poke at it." Catra hissed as Adora prodded the bruise expertly running her hands over the ribs.

"Nothing feels broken." She concluded dropping the clothes and leaning back frowning.

"Cadets, Hordak or Shadow Weaver?"

"Cadets" Catra shrugged.

Adora bit her lip.

"I'll be fine like you said not even broken." Catra

"I'm sorry"

"It's chill it was only one, not even the biggest one. And I may have called her a dumbass."

"Why would you provoke them?" Adora sighed.

"Well, she is a dumbass she was literally trying to climb a telephone pole."

"But you can't go picking fights with everyone."

"People pick fights with me all the time."

"Be smart please, we'll have to move our fighting till after school hours," Adora said giving a small smile.

Catra snorted looking at the street. The pothole that had sat in front of their house since they were kids was still steadily growing. Serving as a place for little kids to splash when it rained a lot. Even if the puddle was always half motor oil it was still nostalgia-inducing. Seemingly bringing them back to the old normal.

"So the girl, Glimmer I think, who showed me about. She was kinda cute."

"Ooh really?" Catra said as she snuffed the joint out closing the window.

"Yup she had on a really nice romper. Her hair is also pink."

"Pink?" Catra said pulling on her pyjama shirt and shedding everything else but her boxers. Adora changed into her sleep clothes too. They were so used to each other modesty had never been a concern. Adora crawled into bed where Adora flopped beside her Catra sliding into Adora's hold loving the connection.

"Yup. She has the sparkliest roundest eyes I have ever seen, and an adorable smile. Though I'm not sure she liked me, I did flip her friend to the floor."

"You what?" Catra said sitting up staring at Adora's smirking face, "saved the best stuff till late huh?"

"Of course I did. I don't think Shadow Weaver would much like me saying I endangered the scholarship day one."

"What happened they try and grope you?" Catra asked snuggling back into the Adora. The warmth flowing through her.

"Nah he just startled me. They weren't expecting a fighter I guess."

"Then they don't know what they are getting into."

"Yeah," Adora said running her hands through Catras fluffy mane of brown hair, Catra let an involuntary purr at the comforting touch. Adora was the only person who ever touched her like this as if she cared about her. The only touch that never made her fear violence.

Catra fell asleep the warm comfort making her feel safe even if just for then.

Catra woke with a start looking around her room when a large crash brought her to awake Adora sat up next to her. Both girls walked out to the door Adora grabbing a bat they kept in their room. Lily was standing wide-eyed in the hallway her grip on her stuffed rabbit tight. Adora quickly placed herself between Lily and the crash which made Catra smile ever the hero.

Cata nodded her head at the stairs creeping down the best at stealth for the girls. She saw a Sobbing Meg curled on the ground surrounded by the contents of the coffee table including the broken leg of one.

Catra gave a single finger sign to Adora who placed the bat down coming down the stairs. Adora stood awkwardly looking at the crying kid casting a 'help me' glance to Catra. Catra could only shrug she was even less good with crying people then Adora.

Lily pushed between the two teens and went over to Meg sitting next to rubbing her back.

They all jumped when Shadow Weaver came into the room. Her bright red bathrobe billowing around her in a way that Catra always thought made her look like some kind of blood-soaked dementor. The shadows cast by the flickering street lights filtered ambient haze of the city made Shadow Weaver look so scary, reminding the girls why they were all scared of the lady.

"What are you all doing out of bed?" She said her tone annoyed.

"Meg is really sad," Lily explained.

"What happened?" Adora said softly Walking closer to Meg, Catra noted the instinctual act of putting her body between Shadow Wever and the target of her judgment. Catra Chose to stay in the Shadows, alert but her interference would probably make it worse.

Meg uncurled herself "I think I was sleepwalking again. I had a nightmare"

"And this requires you to wake up the whole house why?" Shadow weaver sighed like this was the most inconvenient thing in the world for her, of course, she gave no fucks about the terrified girl curled on the floor.

"I don't think she meant to Ms Weaver," Adora said

Catra held in a snort. It was not actually funny Adora still called her Ms Weaver. Catra had switched exclusively to their nickname years ago (with the exception of in the presence of adults in power). but Adora still had sick respect for the woman.

"I didn't I knocked the table over in my sleep," Meg said shivering.

"Well, Adora put her back to bed. Everyone get out of here. You can clean the mess up in the morning" Shadow Weaver left.

The four girls did as they were told. Meg and Lily quickly fell back asleep. Adora and Catra curled back into their bed. But neither of them got much sleep for the rest of the night.


	3. Start of Something, Part I: Adora

Chapter 3: Start of Something, Part I: Adora

CW: Referenced homophobia, referenced child neglect, internalized classism

Adora was riding the bus to school the dark sky with the well-known sounds of the bus operating and the dancing beams of street lamps putting her back to sleep.

Adora shifted in her uniform. She was not a fan of the skirt, it wasn't that she didn't like skirts she didn't like ones that restricted movement. Adora had a pretty repetitive dress code of jeans or leggings paired with a long sleeve t-shirt. She also usually wore a bomber jacket she had decked out with buttons and patches. She was actually wearing the jacket right then. August mornings were always cold and Shadow Weaver hadn't bought her the school issue coat saying she didn't really need it till at least October, that even for Adora it was a waste of good money. So Adora was left to where what she had for all weather. Her old coat actually for the weather was now given to Meg to wear. On her, that coat would have been a water-resistant crop top at best. So she didn't have that option.

The bus dropped her a block from the school building so she had to get the rest of the way on her own. Thankfully she was good with directions allowing her to cut through the park and not walking along the main road. At the school, she took a long breath watching the students mill about a diverse set of people really except for the endless number of Mercedes and trademarked soccer moms.

Walking to the door she caught the stares of most of the kids. She quickly shrugged off her jacket stuffing it into her backpack as she looked for her locker. She was surprised to see Bow and Glimmer standing right in front of her locker.

"Hello, Adora." Bow said with a smile.  
"You waiting for me?" Adora questioned squeezing between them to get to her locker.  
"Well yeah, we are supposed to help you 'adjust'. Though I think it's just my mom trying to teach me something, not really even about you. But she would know if I didn't so I have to" Glimmer said.  
"Who's your mom?" Adora asked as she shut the door walking towards her classroom.  
"You don't know?" Bow asked confused.  
"Should I?"  
"My mom is basically the puppetmaster of the headmaster. She pays enough to the school that she has lots of pull. Including making this my job." Glimmer explained  
"Oh." Adora made a mental to not piss these guys off if they were that tied to the power structure.  
"I have this class too. Glimmer said when they reached the classroom door.  
"See you in poli-sci." Bow said leaving them at the door with a bright smile.  
After a half-assed smile from Glimmer, they entered the classroom. The teacher did a syllabus read through, and laying down his high expectations. Adora was momentarily distracted when she noticed they had enough paper to actually give each kid a copy of the syllabus.

Adora went through the first half of the day with no big incidents. Glimmer was in all of her classes so she was able to make sure Adora didn't get lost. Before she knew it, the lunch bell rang. This was going to give her the best info about how the school social network functioned. And not really in a mean girls click way but the lunch room was the best time to see large groups interact at once. Adora went into the hall with a plan to map the system and discover who was the ones most likely to cause drama (or violence) and the likely targets of the drama. Looking for the people who had the most social capital was also important, and dealers of drugs, people selling test scores, or other contraband. People like that make their presence known. One example was when people were way more popular than made sense, or just coming upon them dealing in the bathroom.

To her surprise, she got her food without being informed her account was empty. The girls in the home all had reduced-price lunch but not free so they were often shamed publically. Being denied meals always sucked and everyone knew when you had a peanut butter sandwich instead of the shit pizza that your guardian couldn't even give you lunch.

Adora sat at an empty table with a line of sight to both entrances. She was caught off guard when a pretty girl with dark skin and long hair that was shiny and in a complex braid sat across from her.  
"Hey." She drawled, "I'm Mermista Salineas. As the president of the junior class, I'm like obligated to say hello."  
"Oh um nice to meet you"  
The table quickly filled after that. A girl called Perfume Plumeria asking about some green initiative, A girl who looked about 11 which was odd sat next to them looking lofty as fuck.  
"I'm Frosta snow. Yes, I am twelve and yes I have the right to be here."  
"Okay. I'm Adora." Adora said caught off guard by the stare she was getting.  
"Yes, I know. You're the talk of the school when new people come, don't get them often," Frota explained.  
Glimmer and bow came over.  
"God you gave us the slip. If I lost you that would be bad, on the first day." Glimmer said with a dramatic sigh.  
"God be so melodramatic you'll give Seahawk a run for his money," Mermista complained  
"Aw but you love him." Glimmer said.  
"Do not!" Mermista said  
"You're on a break again?" Bow asked with a sympathetic glance.  
"We broke up yes," Mermista said  
"Bets for how long this lasts?" Bow said grinning.  
"OH, I bet a week," Perfuma said.  
"Five days." Glimmer shouted.  
"Ten days," Frosta said.  
"I bet they are back together tomorrow." Bow said.  
Mermista huffed blowing her hair from her face. Adora watched feeling out of place. She didn't even know who Seahawk was.  
"So Adora what do you think of our school?" Perfuma asked.  
"Your food is really nice." Adora shrugged. The food was exceptional for high school. It was some pasta that wasn't half frozen. And the vegetables must be fresh as they weren't a gummy texture.  
"That's good." Perfuma said, "what extracurriculars are you thinking of?"  
"Oh um I play soccer. And Glimmer suggested student council." Adora replied.  
"Yeah, we're all members. Mermista is junior year president, Frosta is sophomore years president. I and Glimmer represent our clubs, The green club for me and Glimmer does a GSA. Bow here is the rep for the arts programs."  
"What's a GSA?"  
"Gay-Straight Alliance. But any LGBT people can come."  
"Oh." Adora felt suddenly uncomfortable. The gay kids at her old school, of course, hung out together. Adora had known she liked girls and guys forever and that Catra only liked girls. But they would have never gotten to be in a club like that even if they had been invited without Shadow Weaver knowing. Her knowing would be bad, like really bad. Not to mention giving more people, like Hordak, info to hold over them.  
"Is everything okay?" Glimmer asked  
"Yeah. Um, do parents have to know what clubs your in?"Adora asked.  
"In general yeah. But well the GSA specifically has a bit of a loophole. People can come as visitors and not sign up, but you can visit as many times as you want, meaning it's not official." Glimmer explained.  
"Oh okay." Adora nodded.  
"You might be sports rep in the council, that is an appointed position after the season starts up," Mermista suggested. "Or you can apply for school-wide posts. Treasurer, president, vice president, recorder, or event coordinator, and social support."  
"That's really complicated for student government." Adora sighed, so much new stuff was hard.  
"Well that's part of 'excellence'" Glimmer said with a slightly derisive tone.  
The rest of the day passed easily. That was until they had in the last class to fill out the signups. Adora chose soccer of course and then checked the boxes for applying for student government jobs. She saw in the social causes section a few things there and then GSA. It made Adora suddenly feel a spike of worry. Don't think about it she told herself, focus on right now.

The papers were turned in and while leaving she was confronted by Bow.  
"So how was your first day?" He said with a smile  
"Oh fine I guess." Adora shrugged going to her locker.  
"I know, long day." Bow said  
"Mhmm," Adora said in response.  
"Can your dad take me home?" Glimmer cut in staring at her phone with a frown  
"Yeah sure why?" Bow asked  
"Mom is busy at work. But she is picking up ice cream and Chinese food. So that's good." Glimmer explained.  
"Ice cream for being late, but the Chinese food is probably an apology for how many questions your gonna get. My dads are going to have lots of questions too. What about your parents Aora? I assume they're pretty involved to send you here gonna be grilled."  
"Oh yeah. I mean yeah Shadow Weaver will want to know everything if she comes home." Adora said feeling rather self-conscious as they walked out of the building seeing all the fancy cars getting students. A rather frightening number of these people had their own Alfred.  
"What's a Shadow Weaver?" Bow asked.  
"My foster mother. It's a nickname Catra came up with. Her real name is Sarah Weaver."  
"Oh." Glimmer said glancing at Bow with concerned eyes.

Adora felt like rolling her eyes, people were always weird because 'foster mother' pretty much let everyone know your an orphan who never even got adopted." Yeah so, I have to catch a bus. Thank you, for being so nice to me."  
"No need to thank us. I like you." Bow said, "you made it through a lecture from Mr Banes awake He makes learning the opposite of fun that's just impressive will. Plus I'm impressed by anyone who can flip me with one arm."  
"You're not bad," Glimmer said with what Adora hoped was a teasing smile, "I like new friends, and you clearly need some you'll get eaten alive without some backup."  
"Cool," Adora said and meant it they were rather nice people.

Adora got home to hear screaming and saw Lily and Catra curled on the couch. Adora silently made her way over sitting by the other girls.  
"What's up?" Adora said quietly  
"Castaspella is here" Catra sighed.  
"Fuck," Adora muttered under her breath.


	4. Start of Something, Part II: Catra

Start of Something, Part II: Catra

_CW: child abuse, child neglect, bullying, domestic violence, mild drug use, descriptions of panic attacks, referenced alcoholism, referenced sexual abuse_

Catra slammed her locker door shut and then it swung right back smacking her in the nose. God, she hated school. She hated these stupid lockers, the crowded hallways, the judgmental teachers, meddling counsellor, a bunch of teenagers sucking face, the constant stream of teen angst and the stench of who knows what, and the way everything was always sticky. What even was making it sticky? Who knew, not her.

Her locker, and of course it was hers, had no lock but she wasn't allowed to carry her backpack because of guns or something. If she ever wanted to shoot someone she wouldn't put in her backpack the first place the 'resource officers' what a stupid euphemism, would check. She was smarter than that.

The first couple classes passed in a blur of being half asleep, but unable to sleep. Teachers didn't even try to make her study anymore. She wasn't worth the time of them taking attention from people who "wanted to learn" and didn't "have an attitude". When you have almost forty students you didn't care about the lost causes unless they made a fuss. Catra had been a lost cause since like sixth grade. Actually, since she was 6. It was pretty impressive to already be labelled an 'at risk' kid that young the only other two she had seen were Adora and Lily. It wasn't her fault her birth parents were like that, how the fuck was she supposed to have behaved right? All her birth parents had shown her was anger, drug addiction, sex, crimes and neglect. Then she was thrown from that disorganized mess of pain to Shadow Weaver's careful control. And someone decided that was better, they were all violent and scary but at least Shadow Weaver did it in private so it didn't matter.

Lunch came and Catra went outside the lunchroom wasn't even worth it even if it was technically not allowed to be outside during lunch hour. Catra sat on the wall surrounding a small outdoor part of the lunchroom. She watched people come in and out taking in this year's social networks. Then someone pushed on her back sending her flying face-first to the cement.

"I thought cats always landed on their feet." Lonnie, the head Cadet, teased.

Catra stood up baring her teeth. She stepped forward close to Lonnie's face.

"You can't find anything better than to push people? Little juvenile don't you think? I thought the Cadets were meant to be a real threat now?"

"Watch it Kitty Cat. You don't have Adora here to protect you anymore. You're all alone now."

Catra stared for a long moment as a bunch of Cadets flanked Lonnie. Including Gator a rather large and tough senior. Catra backed up shrugging her shoulders, "Sure you have the upper hand. For now." Retreated to fight latter was the only reasonable thing to do now.

Catra stalked into the building quickly making her way out of the main hallway. Her stomach flopped inside her and she felt exhausted her whole body felt on fire. She slid down the wall in the bathroom the air suffocating. Summer in the city sucked, she would rather it be zero degrees then this soupy air. Sticky thick air sucked, breathing against the humidity was painful as fuck. She pulled her shitty cracked phone from her pocket no messages. Of course, Adora was busy but part of her had hoped Adora would be missing her too, they had always gotten lunch together.

The rest of the day went painfully slowly she felt like a coil about to spring. Instead of the last period of the day, which was algebra something Catra couldn't even pretend she would ever understand, somewhere along the way she lost too much of this math shit. The painful idea of being lost in class was too much, fuck school she muttered. Catra practically ran to The First One's Diner. It was run by a kind lady named Mara Stuart and her daughter Lucinda miller nicknamed Lookie. Mara's son Kyle was a freshman at the same school as Catra he was timid had been since she met them, it was worrisome how he would be handling this shit school.

Catra threw her backpack in the kitchen when she crashed through the back door.

"You're rather early," Mara said tossing Catra a granola bar with a look that said she knew why Catra was so early, and it was not early release.

"I had to get out of the Fright Zone," Catra said tying her wild brown hair into a ponytail putting on a long sleeve shirt of Lookie's.

"You really shouldn't call the school fright zone."

"Ask Lookie, or Kyle when he gets here. It is a totally accurate name."

"Get out to the front Lookie needs another server," Mara said with a knowing smile.

"Aye aye captain," Catra said with a mock salute.

Lookie was looking frazzled keeping up with the orders the diner was rather full. Catra quickly slid into her role being a robotically polite waiter. It was an easy job and it kept her always moving which was good for the nervous energy that was commonly twisting in her stomach.

Way too soon for Catra's liking a lull in customers set in letting her nerves consumer her again.

"Didn't get a chance to ask earlier. How are you Catra?"

"I'm fine." Catra shrugged gnawing on the pen she used to take orders.

Lookie took the pen catra grumbled, but quickly Lookie sighed and handed her a stick of gum.

"How was school?"

"How was my day in the fright zone?" Catra asked raising an eyebrow

"So that bad?"

"Finding out my locker has no actual lock was the highlight of my day." Catra drawled.

"Sorry kid."

Mara came to the front Kyle followed eating a cookie.

"Rough day?" Catra asked noting that even one of Mara's superb cookie couldn't cheer him up.

"Literally no one even said hello to me but the janitor." He said sitting on the counter with a mopey expression.

"Welcome to the fright zone. You won't enjoy your stay." Catra replied patting his shoulder.

Mara shook head and Lookie stifled a laugh.

Catra liked these people more than she liked anyone but Adora. They had let her work there at age 14 with no parental permission. She had shown up begging for a job, she had wanted to get Adora a birthday present, they never got those. But Catra never got an allowance even she did her chores she always did it wrong. She was much more likely to get threatened then the money she was trying to earn.

These people had taken pity on her and the last two years she worked for them. Lookie was young thirtyish woman She'd had kyle in high school dropped out and worked for her mom ever since. Catra could tell Lookie understood the way life would suck all the time from day one. Over time she earned she definitely did. Kyle's father was now working at a law firm, presumably beating on some new the poor lady.

Then there was Mara, a badass woman. She had built this place from nothing after her parents died in a drunk driving accident leaving a 17-year-old Mara with nothing, including her knowing fuck of all English. Which was impressive as hell, she was nice but took no shit from anyone, an attitude Catra respected.

Catra glanced at the clock. She should really get home didn't want to miss Adora coming home.

"I'm gonna head out," Catra said pulling Lookie's shirt off her head.

"To do homework I hope?" Mara asked.

"sure ." Catra smiled and took off home.

She smoked the whole way back the familiar sensation calmed her nerves. Catra zoned almost all the way her feet moving by instinct along the well-worn path. Getting home she ate an apple watching the other girls doing their homework then she let out a low noise when the hair on her arms and back stood up. The other two girls joined the frozen on edge Catra when the door opened and Castaspella stood there.

She was Shadow Weaver's half-sister. Castaspella was as cruel as her sister but twice as beautiful, twice as cunning, and five times as successful. She had this ability to act like everyone's aunt who loved you, but to the trained eye, you could tell she would just as quickly hug you and run you through with her sharpened stiletto.

Catra had been here long enough she had pieced together most of the story. Castaspella had inherited their father's business along with someone else they had never seen. Shadow Weaver had been ignored and kicked out because people with that much money still hated bastards like some kind of fucking Game of Thrones characters. Castaspella came over for an information exchange. Castaspella needed Shadow Weaver because she had connections to Hordak, Skeletor and other members of the criminal underclass. Castaspella had connections to the criminal upper class all that technically legal shit, and lobbying power. They seemed to have an agreement that info sharing got them both more money and protection. But that didn't mean they didn't hate each other. Two of the most terrible people hanging out was a powder bomb endangering anyone in the blast zone.

Castaspella stalked through the house only offering the girls a half-smile, possibly a preemptive apology, before quickly moving to Shadow Weaver's 'office'. A few moments of silence then a crash rang out and the screaming started. Catra clamped her hands over her ears in an instinctive action she couldn't seem to shake no matter how much it felt like something only a child would do. It was too much like being a tiny kid hiding under a blanket, table, in a closet or whatever. Too scared to move hoping if she couldn't see or hear the violence it would just go away. Hoping she could curl tight enough into herself everything would just stop.

The girls moved to the den a much more comfortable place to wait it out then the kitchen. They all curled up in their personal spot they chose to sit in during bad nights. All three of them viscerally curling into themselves in pitiful fetal positions. Like they were some kind of goddamn characters in some sappy misery porn movie about beaten children.

Adora came in a few minutes later and joined them Catra lett out a breath she hadn't been consciously holding. All Catra had to say was that Castaspella was there and Adora got it, the language they spoke only needing one word or gesture. Catra lifted her head so when Adora sat down she could lay her head on Adora's lap and let her friend run her hands Catra's hair. Time to wait out the storm.

Eventually, the fighting broke up and Shadow Weaver was pissed. Adora and Catra made food and the five of them are in a horrid kind of silence. Like the still grey air before a tornado, the same suffocating feeling always finding a way to suck Catra in. And Catra went to bed that night knowing something worse was coming it made her feel on edge. Not even Adora's arms holding her would let her sleep.


	5. Won't Let Me Go, Part I: Adora

**Won't Let Me Go, Part I: Adora**

_CW: __Homophobia, internalized homophobia, reclaimed and non-reclaimed use of homophobic slurs, child abuse, vomiting, descriptions of panic attacks, victim-blaming, & internalized abuse_

The next week of school was fine, good actually. Going to school had actually become a reprieve from everything something it hadn't been since grade school. After Castaspella had visited Shadow Weaver had basically not been there making things quiet. Stuff had been a tense kind of calm because social workers had been in the house working with Meg who was going to be adopted soon. It was harder to be mean when the government was watching. Everyone was still waiting on a blow-up though it was a pretty predictable pattern that after something bad happened Shadow Weaver would hide away but she would always end up being really angry.

But at school? She was okay, she was. The only thing bothering her in Grayskul was that the clubs were starting that day. At lunch the student government would have its first meeting, so that was nerve-racking and then soccer tryouts were on Friday. And Glimmer had not so subtly reminded her that GSA was today, and they would 'love to see her there'. Apparently, almost all of the student government was in the club, so everyone was expecting her.

But for the most part, it was more chill here even with the pressure on grades. There was a significant life experience gap. Some things were the same of course, Mermista intense frustration with her father for being a floundering jerk was the same as anyone else. Glimmer wanting her mom to chill was the same as any other helicopter parents. And guys like Seahawk thinking they were hot shit is the same no matter where you were born.

But some stuff was less the same, no one had jobs, they didn't worry about food or money. They had second homes and knew famous people. When Adora mentioned how she had gone to the country with her soccer team when they were talking about vacations, her mentioning that she couldn't sleep without ambulance and police car sirens she had gotten the 'you have two heads look'. She had given them the same look when they discussed housekeeper vs maids and nanny-housekeeper combos.

But that added to a feeling of being maybe a new start? Maybe life could really be different get better, she could do something new and good.

Lunch came and she followed bow and Glimmer to the student government room.  
A silent ballot procedure happened and last year vice president, who was named Alison read the results.  
"And the vice president, Adora O'Sullivan"  
"Huh, what?" Adora said.  
"Congrats Adora!" Bow said slapping her shoulder.  
"Why?" Adora said her thoughts becoming verbal without much intent to do so.  
"Idk your different, and interesting or whatever" Mermista shrugged.  
"You got in this school all on your own, that's impressive. "Perfuma said, "Your input would be useful."  
"You're a really, really cool girl." Glimmer said slightly blushing, "Just thought you'd be good."  
"Thank you," Adora said. She was given a book and a badge. Adora smiled she was really important here now, she belonged here, had a purpose.  
"President... it's me, Alison!" She said grinning.  
"Okay, so I think our full meetings should be Tuesdays. I don't' think that interferes with anything else to bad. Then lunchtime meetings on Fridays when necessary. Subcommittees can meet as they please. I think most of us have Remind 101? If you don't it's an app and then add the Grayskull clubs then put in the code in the flyers you have. If subgroups want to make a sub-chat you can go ahead and do that. Everyone good?"  
Adora added the app while everyone moved to get food. Then her phone buzzed and she saw a message from Catra.  
/You really staying late today? Meg got to leave today ya know you left really early but they came and it was really good, they seem child but then again most people do. Shadow Weaver wants me home so I'm not working today./  
Adora bit her lip and answered,  
/Don't worry Catra I won't be too late. And Shadow Weaver still working through the shit from last week she won't be home right away./  
/Right/ was all she got in response  
Catra's reply felt wrong not sure how though. Before Adora could work what was wrong a plate with a sandwich was set in front of her.  
"You seem upset." Bow said sitting next to her,  
"Catra was just texting me."  
"Who's Catra, you've mentioned her before but?" Glimmer asked.  
"My friend lives in the same foster home." Adora frowned  
"And somethings wrong with her? Ah ok?" Bow asked  
"Well, Meg got adopted today. Other people getting adopted is always rough." Adora explained.  
"Yeah, that makes sense." Glimmer said.  
"I know, it's not really the same. But I never really had a mom. She was a surrogate. So I mean she was never really my mom, and I love my dads more than anything but I do think about it a bit. My dads mean the world to me and they are the best parents, but I still know it's not the same."  
"My dad died when I was 5" Glimmer said softly, "I miss him even if I don't remember much. Families are hard."  
Adora nodded, "All I know of either of my parents is someone was Irish at one point, I didn't get to be an O'Sullivan any other way."  
Bow and Glimmer nodded.  
"Catra is my closest thing to family. I bounced around for almost six years even as a baby I was different. I was too loud for everyone, got in trouble I don't know but no one kept me. Then I met Catra and we've been together ever since. She wanted me, needed me." Adora shrugged.  
"I'm sorry that sounds hard." Glimmer said and gave Adora a hug which made her fall out of her chair.  
The room laughed and Adora flushed feeling glimmer laugh into her chest as she crawled up.  
"Sorry" glimmer said smiling with a bright red hue across her face.  
"It's fine," Adora said. God Glimmer was cute, she always seemed to sparkle if she was annoyed or happy or embarrassed. Always full of life, she would beat the world with shinny fists.

The end of the day Adora packed her backpack and wayward watching Bow and Glimmer go inside the classroom and place a rainbow GSA sign on the door.  
"You coming? Glimmer said smiling at her.  
Adora took a long breath, why shouldn't she? Shadow Weaver didn't need to know, it wouldn't put anyone in danger. She'd be fine, nothing could hurt her here.  
Sitting in the semi-circle she noticed Perfuma, Mermista, and Sea Hawk were also there. A few other people she didn't know joined them too.  
"I'm Glimmer and I'm president of this club. The idea here is mostly to discuss life as an LGBT person and support the other LGBT kids of our school. We also serve to be part of the social issues subcommittee in student government if any inclusivity issues arise. To start off go around say your name, the one you want us to use in here doesn't have to be the one on your papers, your pronouns, your favourite superhero and any part of your identity you want to share. like Sexual orientation gender identity and the like. any questions?"  
They all shook their heads.  
"Okay. I'm Glimmer I like, I use She/Her/Hers pronouns. My favourite superhero is Black Widow and I'm bisexual."  
"Im Bow, I use he/him my favourite super is Hawkeye and I'm pansexual"  
"I'm Mermista, I use she/her, I like Wonder Woman and I'm bisexual."  
"I'm Perfuma, I use she/her or they/them pronouns. And I like Poison Ivy, and no I don't care she's an antihero. I'm a lesbian."  
It went around like that for the other five people finally reaching Adora.  
"So I'm Adora. I use she/her/hers I guess never thought about it. I like Iron Man and I like girls and boys? I never thought to give it a name I'm not sure"  
"That's okay you don't need a perfect label." Glimmer said  
Adora nodded.  
That started a group conversation about labels it was nice hearing people talk about gay stuff in like a formal setting and not the makeout corner at school. There might have been a GSA before but it had been something she purposefully ignored.  
"Well I like the word dyke it's reclamation you know. Yeah, I'm a dyke I kiss girls." One girl said.  
Adora felt her chest tighten she stood up "I gotta." But the words drifted off as she made a beeline for the door.  
Leaning on the wall she was hit with the sudden memory of a few days after their sophomore homecoming game. Catra had kissed a girl and Shadow Weaver saw the kiss in a photo after seeing her tagged on a Facebook photo. Shadow Weaver tried to follow everything they did, she always knew. She had been so mad, Adora could hear the crying it felt so visceral even though she knew she wasn't there that was the past. It had been the first time Catra had cried when Shadow Weaver hurt her in a long time. She had locked Adora out of their room leaving Adora to pound on the door. The words filtered through in her brain as loud as they had been back then.  
"You're always such a letdown, and now I know your some kind of dyke too? Your always a disappointment you know think I'd be used to it, but I guess I always think you might do better but no you go kiss girls on camera." God the words and the sobbing and the hardwood splinters in her hand.  
Catra had ended up with a broken arm and a bad concussion. Adora remembered walking in to care for a now quite confused Catra. Adora had to get her to the emergency room Catra couldn't see right, she was gonna need to carry her.  
Adora was confused when she heard her name said softly and a hand on her shoulder.  
"Adora its Glimmer are you okay?"  
Adora met Glimmer's eyes, "uh yeah I'm fine."  
Glimmer look at Bow who was now there looked sceptically at her. They did not believe her. Fair enough Adora felt the tears on her cheek.  
"You're not." Bow said, "That was a pretty nasty panic attack."  
"You want some water? We can sit out here if there is too much for you." Glimmer asked  
"I'm fine okay, I'm fine."  
"No." Bow said, "Talk to us please?"  
"I don't like the word dyke," Adora said softly her chest hurt as she breathed. "It's been used to hurt people I care about. God."  
"Hey calm down." Bow said gently  
"I just I'm sorry. Just fuck it so loud and she threw up on me and the ER wanted to and, just, and." Adora couldn't form the words right her legs shaking.  
"Hey, you don't need to go into detail right now. I understand panic attacks suck. We'll talk about it with the others, let them know it's a trigger for you?" Glimmer offered.  
"Right yeah okay." Adora nodded

There was some time left in the meeting she got sympathetic looks which were uncomfortable didn't like being looked at like she couldn't handle herself. Adora had gotten in enough fights, she could hold her own against anyone. After the meeting broke up Adora got out of the school fast but was not looking forward to the long walk and bus trip. It would be too much time with nothing to do, nothing to focus on.

"Hey." Glimmer said, "Earth to Adora!"  
"Oh, right you were talking?" Adora said.  
"Yeah, do you want a ride home?"  
"I'm the other way from your house." Adora shrugged.  
"Sure but my mom wants to meet you. Bow is gonna ride with us too."  
"If your offering, sounds nice."  
The car was fancy and shiny and the inside was so comfortable much better than the bus and less alone  
"So Adora this is my mom. Mom this is Adora."  
"Pleasure to meet you, Adora. You can call me Ms moon."  
"Nice to meet you." Adora shook hand feeling like the eyes on this lady were boring into her most private soul.  
"I'm glad you're fitting in. Glimmer has been talking about you non stop."  
"Mom!" Glimmer whined.  
"It was partly my idea to bring you in. I'm pleased I didn't make a misjudgment."  
Adora shifted uncomfortably and looked out the window.  
"She was voted vice president of the student council," Bow exclaimed.  
"That's wonderful, are you excited?" Ms Moon said.  
"Oh yes. Wait do you need the address?" Adora said realising she hadn't actually told her where to go.  
"I got it from your file."  
"Oh right." Adora didn't like the idea this lady knew about her. How much did she know? How much did Glimmer know?  
Bow and Glimmer described the new student government and teachers Adora was glad for the noise, but she didn't know everyone and their parents so she had no judgment if the jobs were given to the right people.  
As the entered Horde country she noticed Bow's face look concerned, Adora cringed at what he must be thinking of her home. Beat up streets might be pitiful to him, or ugly.  
Of course, though it wasn't like her home was awful. There were still kids playing in yards. Cars still went back and forth from jobs, they passed a pizza truck. Judgment wasn't totally fair at all. She had none happy kids with families who did all the same stuff as Glimmer and Bow. Well, not all the same most of the people she knew get to go to Europe every summer. And when they bitched about parents it happened in a living room about chores and not in aeroplanes about what clothes to wear to photo ops.

But then Adora saw Lily curled on her front steps. Because it didn't matter did it? Even if the other people were fine Adora's home wasn't any of that, was it? It never would be. Adora muttered goodbye and walked up to her little foster sister.  
"Lily what's up," Adora said bending down.  
A tear-soaked face glanced up, "Shadow Weaver is really mad."  
"Are you hurt?" Adora said glancing over the uncurled Lily for injuries.  
Adora jumped and Lily backed up when a hand hit Adora's shoulder.  
"Is everything alright." Ms Moon asked.  
"We're fine," Adora said sharply.  
"Is this Lily I believe?"  
"Yeah but she's fine and so am I," Adora said calmer trying to bring her voice back under control.  
Lily nodded softly.  
"Okay. I hope to see you soon. Maybe a meal?"  
"Right okay."  
Adora knew Ms moon was smart enough to know they were lying. But she'd let it go, they always did. Teachers had gotten suspicious of course. Catra's black eye in fourth grade was not easily explained, but it never went anywhere just rocked the boat and her and Catra were the only ones hurt. And anyway Shadow Weaver was good most of the time, of course, she was. Adora and Catra were smart and brave and resourceful they were okay. Bringing in other people was just worst, they never thought it was bad enough to matter. Adora breathed out her mind was jumbled now.

"Come on Lily," Adora said taking her hand as the car drove off back to Etheria.  
Lily followed Adora back to their house. Lily went to see Madame Razz, the weirdest lady they knew but she always had food and it was safe enough you just had to hear stories about how 'life used to be' or fairy tales no harm it was a good place for her while Adora sorted out what happened.  
Adora, however, went into her house where harm had been done. She walked up the stairs quietly. She heard a soft whimper from her and Catra's room.  
Catra was curled on the floor shaking. Adora walked over.  
"Hey, Catra you okay?" Adora asked sitting in front of her.  
A hand on her shoulder earned Adora a hiss as Catra looked up. Her eyes were unfocused and even sitting down she looked unsteady.  
"What happened?"  
"Shadow Weaver's mad at me. I don't know." She tried to shake her head but clearly made herself dizzy.  
"Let's get into bed okay?" Adora said.  
Adora helped Catra up. Trying to do a visual inspection for injuries, nothing visible yet.  
They changed Catra into a long shirt Adora frowned she could see bruises on Catra's stomach forming and a small patch of blood on the back of her head presumably her head had smacked a wall, making the obvious concussion make sense. Adora grabbed a towel to clean the blood.  
"Don't have to do that. Blood caked hair is so in right now." Catra joked then winced at her own laugh.  
"Quite you," Adora said no anger in her voice. She couldn't manage any emotions with the sinking feeling in her stomach and numb brain. "Backtalk is what gets us here."  
Catra frowned at that. But Adora dropped her head so their foreheads touched. Hoping Catra knew Adora did care.  
Catra leaned on a propped up pillow as Adora shed her school uniform for a comfortable athletic shirt and sweats. She brought water and an ice pack from the kitchen back up.  
Catra quickly fell asleep. Adora heard a concussed person sleeping right away was bad, but an awake Catra was more likely to do something to hurt herself more so asleep was preferable it gave Adora time to do everything else she needed to do. Like cleaning stuff up, bringing Lily home, doing homework, making Lily do her homework. Shadow Weaver made an appearance to make some craft mac and cheese not even asking why Catra wasn't there because she knew. She was the reason  
When she went back up Catra was still sleeping. Adora quickly slept herself holding catra in her arms like she always did. Hoping it would just be better tomorrow.

It was not better. Adora knew it was a no school day. A dizzy nauseous cranky Catra was ignoring Adora telling her to lay back down. Catra then promptly ran into a door frame and covered the floor in throw up.

Adora knew the protocol though. Back to bed for Catra, clean the floor, get Aspirin, cover the window to make it darker. Thankfully Lily got ready on her own now so it was just about getting herself some breakfast without making Shadow Weaver mad. Of course, she did what she always did pretend one of her kids wasn't upstairs covered in bruises, that when Adora said she was staying home she was just lazy not scared her friend would hurt herself, that Lily wasn't so nervous she was vibrating. But that was fine, it really was things were that way, it was good, easy Shadow Weaver trusted Adora that had to be good.

Adora stopped rationalizing when she brought Powerade and crackers up to Catra and ate her toast on the bed.  
"You okay Catra?" Adora said.  
"Staying home with me?" Catra said in a low voice.  
"I always do when it gets this bad," Adora said with forced levity  
"Just making sure."  
They stared out the window together.  
The day passed rather fast Catra and Adora listen to music in their room, by the night food stayed down and she didn't hiss every time her head moved. Catra was quiet and still which worried Adora. But she wasn't stupid she knew that the getting hit in the head like that was bad, it was always bad and seemed to get worse the more it happened. It was scary though even at 16, Adora felt like that tiny kid watching her only friend beg for it to stop. It never got easier, not really.  
Shadow Weaver ignored them when she got home which was fine for Adora.

The next morning Catra was walking straight and talking okay.  
"You got to school Adora. I'll stay here but I'm okay." Catra shrugged  
"Alright, if you're sure."  
"I'm never sure Adora. I'm just too reckless, remember?" Catra said wearily  
"Just don't get more hurt okay? Drink something, eat something, rest" Adora instructed.  
"Yes captain sir," Catra said with a salute and a mocking grin  
Adora shook her head but smiled.

Adora got to school her ass hit her chair as the bell rung. It was close but at least she wouldn't have an absent and a tardy.

On her way to the next class, she was cut off by a secretary and marched to the principal's office.

Adora felt defensive as the school guidance counsellor Ms Light sat next to Ms hope.  
"I assume you know why you're here?" Ms Hope asked.  
"I missed school yesterday."  
"Exactly. An unexcused absence in the first month of school is concerning." Ms Light said with this patronizing expression.  
"Sure, right. I'm sorry."  
"I realise this transition might be difficult for you. I understand you had some periods of missing quite a bit of school in the past. But you won't be able to make up school work here as easily." Ms Light explained.  
"And we look down on unexcused absences, we do not tolerate negligent students." Ms hope added.  
Adora grimace, negligence sure, of course, she should have let a concussed Catra fall down the stairs. God, she shouldn't have left her today all the had stashed in their room at the moment was crunchy granola bars and warm Powerade.  
"I understand" was all she said though.  
"Now As your guidance counsellor with support from the program for at-risk youth leader here have decided you will have this one absence excused without parental input not count towards expulsion level offences. But you will do detention today, and tomorrow, and lunch detention on Friday."  
"Thank you," Adora said.  
"Get to class." Ms Hope said.

Adora left and sulked in the next period finding English classic lit even more boring than normal.  
At lunch, Adora sighed sitting next to Glimmer who was staring at her.  
"Okay spill." Glimmer said spinning to look at her.  
Adora glanced up it was only Glimmer and bow at the table. She decided they were okay, safe, had to be the anger was in her throat at this point she had to let it out.  
"I have detention for the next two days, and lunch detention on Friday."  
"That sucks. But they take attendance mega seriously here." Bow said.  
"Yeah, that sucks. But what happened that you missed school?" Glimmer asked.  
"I had to stay home yesterday to take care of Catra she was injured I couldn't just leave her there to vomit on herself right? And she was too dizzy to go downstairs and get an ice pack. We keep some snacks and aspirin in our room but she needed crackers the first day she never keeps food down the when she's sick like that"  
"Slow down Adora." Bow soothed  
"Catra was sick, and you took care of her? That the gist?" Glimmer asked  
"Yeah."  
"Well, why didn't your..Shadow Weaver, call in to excuse it?"  
Adora paused for a second. The real answer was she didn't want anyone to get suspicious why Catra was always injured get others involved, Also she never seems to really know how injured Catra was. "She left early" Adora lied, she hated to do it but she did.  
"Okay." Glimmer nodded.  
Adora sighed laying her head on her arms. A new start? Nope never gonna get that for real.


	6. Won't Let Me Go, Part II: Catra

_CW: Bullying, child abuse, violence, injury, vomiting, victim-blaming_

Catra sat on the stairs in the morning watching Meg's new parents take her away from the hell hole. She had her school clothes on a nervous Lily was watching with big glassy eyes at the scene. She was young, still had a chance of being adopted herself it made her understandably sad to not be the one leaving. But Catra knew better, she was never going to be adopted never even had the chance. She'd only met with a few families for adoption when she was really little but she had been a stupid kid and when they tried to touch her she had bitten them, or they would get too loud and she'd freak or fight. Yeah, she was never fit for that lifestyle. She was good at what she was good at plain and simple.

School that day was eventful, in the morning she watched a tall girl, a senior if Catra memory was right, being teased by the Cadets. The girl had done some security work for Hordak she was a fierce-looking girl though she had been nice, not cruel. Catra jumped from her concrete block and walked over the other girl who was looking rather deflated.

"They can be such a pain huh?" Catra asked offering the carton.

"Yeah. I'm Scorpia Black! Who are you?" Scorpia stuck out her hand.

"I'm Catra. Why are they messing with you?" Catra asked offering her lighter instead of a handshake. She wasn't big on touch.

"I'm different they don't seem to think I fit with them, "Scopia explained

"You know they exploit when people are alone. I can offer back up moving forward."

"I've seen you, you hang around Hordak's people, and that Adora girl."

"Used to hang with Adora." Catra said the bitterness in her tone unmistakable, "And Hordak, yeah still work for him I think. I could use your backup too. Support each other, fighting is easier when you have someone on your six.

"I'd back you up." Scorpia smiled, "Will be good friends"

Catra was caught off guard when Scorpia wrapped her in a tight one arm hug. Catra let out a rather undignified yelp.

"Right." Catra said, "friends" After she was let go. She felt her pocket her butterfly knife still in place, she was glad she hadn't had to pull it out to prove she was good back up. Now she had a backup. Not being alone was good strength in numbers and all that.

Lunch came and Catra ate a sandwich next to Scorpia who was telling some long-winded story about her parents. They seemed less shit than Shadow Weaver but not great, never home, never listen, called Scorpia a lost cause dumb crappy parent stuff. But Scorpia told ever story with a smile on her face finding being left at a camping site an adventure instead of the depressing tale of her parents prioritizing a party over their own daughter.

Catra smiled when the Cadets showed up. They looked ready to pick a fight and Catra was in the perfect mode for it. She had back up today and her deterrent.

They started in on something provocation on very word But Catra gave no fucks what the words being said were.

"Oh, Lonnie sweet dumb Lonnie. You know Scorpia has my back now, so I'm not alone anymore. I don't need Adora. And I'm pretty sure even with four idiot muscle behind would stop a blade to the gut causing damage." Catra smiled turning her blade over in her hands nonchalantly.

"You wouldn't." Lonnie countered.

"You wanna bet? I'm pretty sure I'm known for 'erratic behaviour' and I know you what we did last year." Catra narrowed her eyes staying perfectly still. Her breathing evened and the tension her body subsiding. Somehow this situation seemed to be a cure for anxiety. Pride ran through her as Lonnie face dawned with recognition. Catra had just confirmed the rumour.

"Yeah well, we got better things to do." Lonnie huffed and walked rather fast to go harass some freshmen or something.

Catra side sitting back down staring at her sandwich. A rush of endorphins ran through her giving her a nice natural high. It was ruined when she got a text from Shadow Weaver requesting her to come straight home and not stop at work. She grimaced, looking at her phone she saw Adora's contact photo which was from her last birthday. Adora was smiling bathed in moonlight. It had been taken on the hill right outside of town, it was the only place this side of the city line you could see any stars. Catra wanted Adora, Catra still didn't want to face Shadow Weaver alone. It was dumb she'd just threatened to essentially stab Lonnie in the gut but the thought of going home without Adora made her blood run cold.

In a rush of need, she texted Adora

_You really staying late today? Meg got to leave today ya know you left really early but they came and it was really good, they seem child but then again most people do. Shadow Weaver wants me home so I'm not working today.._

Catra watched the texting symbols dots holding her breath

_Don't worry Catra I won't be too late. And Shadow Weaver still working through the shit from last week she won't be home right away._

Catra felt a sting in her chest. Stupid fucking clubs more important than Catra of course they were. All she managed to type of her empty angry thoughts was _Right_

"You look sad Catra," Scorpia said cutting into Catra's brooding.

"Just not getting along with Adora." Catra shrugged turning with a bored expression to Catra, "wanna bum off next period?"

"Sure'

"I think this could be a start to a good thing Scorpia."

"Me too."

Catra quickly slipped up the stairs to her room letting Shadow Weaver see her only a moment so she knew Catra got home on time.

Catra's hiding proved useless when Shadow Weaver burst in her room.

"I requested you home on time for once and you think you can just sulk up here?"

"Came home didn't I?" Catra shot back.

"I won't put up with this behaviour. Only a few weeks into school and your already missing class. Do you even want to graduate?"

"Course I do," Catra muttered, she hated school even one more day then necessarily was a torturous prospect.

"Then maybe you could do school work for once? I know you have issues or whatever but even you aren't too dumb to comprehend remedial math."

"None of it makes any sense to me!" Catra shot back.

"If you continue to fail you won't be allowed to lay soccer, especially not Varsity. The one goddamn thing you have ever been good at. To dumb and weak to handle anything else"

"Shut up! You don't know anything." Catra yelled jumping to her feet. Weak? ugh, fuck her, of course, that was the wrong choice. A curse word filled the room with menace. And Catra felt a punch to her solar plexus knocking the wind out of her. She doubled over her mind going into self-preservation mode protecting her organs and head. This turned to the wrong move though when she was then tossed back the force rattled her brain then a repeated slam knocked her head on the splintered wood panels next to the bed. Another wham and a follow up middle blow everything went blurry the pain and confusion leaving her vision with black spots her ears ringing. Shadow weaver shouted some incomprehensible nonsense and Catra folded herself into a ball soft cries into her knees the room spinning around her.

Way later than Catra hoped She heard Adora say "Hey Catra you okay?" Adora sat in front of Catra the touch to her shoulder hurt Catra let out a light hiss the pain still strong mixed with this gnawing fear even from Adora's fingertips.

"What happened?"

"Shadow Weaver's mad at me. I don't know." Catra said and hissed again any movement hurt

"Let's get into bed okay?" Adora said her voice in that calming tone she had when she went into protector mode.

Adora's hands steadied Catra helping Adora sit on the bed. Catra was vaguely aware as Adora inventoried Catra's injuries and helped her into a long t-shirt her preferred sleeping attire.

Adora started to clean the blood in her hair. It hurt a lot and the sullen mood was suffocating.

"Don't have to do that. Blood caked hair is so in right now." Catra said to lighten the mood every word hurt against her bruised ribs and stomach

"Quite you." Adora chided in her mom's voice, "Backtalk is what gets us here."

Catra hated that, Adora always tried to rationalize it all away. As if there was something they could do. Shadow Weaver would stop but Catra knew she never would, and that even though Catra was a fuck up adults aren't supposed to beat their kids. Then Catra felt the warm touch of Adora's forehead on her's hands cupping her face. The familiar gesture calming her back down.

Adora did the common after violence rituals and Catra mused how it was that doing all these things ended with Adora even looking like the old Adora dressed in off-brand Nike with faded designs. Catra fell asleep her brain groggy.

The next morning came way to fast. Adora was telling her to lay back down. But Catra hated it at that moment. She didn't want a babysitter she could manage herself, Adora had better things to do right. Her point of independence was moot though when her steering was so off she hit the doorframe. followed by a wave of dizzying nausea causing the floor to be covered in bile. Her body aching as Adora gave her and I told you so look and guided Catra to bed.

Adora did her thing leaving Catra for a while curled on the bed trying to not let her fear eat her up. She wanted Adora to snuggle with her, be someone who didn't hurt her. The one solid thing she ever had but Adora wasn't the same anymore. When Adora came up, In her sleep clothes with toast and Powerade plain for Catra and her nausea the other with peanut butter Adora's favourite since grade school.

"You okay Catra?" Adora said as they sat on the bed eating their food.

"staying home with me?" Catra said hoping for a yes, even if she wouldn't admit how much she never wanted Adora to leave her side

"I always do when it gets this bad," Adora replied with a shrug.

"Just making sure," Catra answered leaning on Adora watching from there vantage point on the busy street.

Adora and Catra spent the day mostly like that. Catra drifted in and out of consciousness, concussions seemed to get worse over time but the relative comfort of being out of it with Adora warmth next to her.

When the next unwanted sunrise happened Catra knew Adora had to go back to school, she'd read the brochure Adora shouldn't get kicked out for this.

"You got to school Adora. I'll stay here but I'm okay." Catra said giving Adora an out.

"Alright, if you're sure."

"I'm never sure Adora. I'm just too reckless, remember?" Catra said wearily

"Just don't get more hurt okay? Drink something, eat something, rest" Adora instructed.

"Yes captain sir," Catra said with a salute and a mocking grin

That day she did ditch school, high school did not help headaches. But she did go to work the diner. They only gave her sympathetic looks when Catra explained her absence, her foster mother needed her and then she'd been 'sick'. They knew sick meant hurt, and her foster mother wanting her meant abusing her. But none ever said it.

It was odd the most normalizing thing in her and Adora's life was the pain and danger, it always came down to that. When it became the two of them against the world it was the normal refrain in their lives being alone together, facing violence and desperation. The fight, fighting together. But Adora was more than that got to be more than that. And that wasn't fucking fair. Catra gripped the cloth she was cleaning the table with a vice-like grip. God calm down. she took a breath, come the fuck on Catra. She thought to herself and steeled herself for the rest of her shift, he can't break down again.


	7. Sleepovers & Cigarettes, PartI: Glimmer

Glimmer was vibrating at the breakfast table it was Adora's first soccer game the next day. well, it was an exhibition match raising money for the other team's equipment, of course, it was Adora' old school Walt Whitman high school. Adora had told them everyone called it, the Fright Zone, which was kinda funny.

Generally, Glimmer wasn't that big on watching other people compete but she was more than happy to go watch Adora. She looked so cute in her uniform and was so excited about everything, even flipping her shit that they had a real horse as their mascot. Making Adora happy was just something Glimmer wanted to do as much as possible. Basically, everyone from school was going, and the first real party of the school was afterwards. They had a football team but they weren't very good, but their soccer teams always won, so they even had an exhibition match party, not school affiliated as like the big social event, the school-sponsored homecoming was less of a "you have to be there" event since it wasn't the first big event.

Adora was also coming home with her after school and then spending the night. First sleepover Bow was almost as pumped as Glimmer and had been planning it forever.

The school day went by fast everyone pretty excited for the next day. Adora seeming to switch between super excited to extremely nervous. But she and Bow had a good plan to get her relaxed for the game, also pick out party clothes.

Glimmer sat next to Adora as they rode up to her house

"Holy fuck Glimmer." She said staring at the large manor house.

"What?" Glimmer said smiling at Adora's wide eyes.

"Why do you need such a crazy big house?" Adora asked.

Glimmer flushed, "oh it's just been in my mom's family for years."

"Cool!"

They went inside as they all shed their coats Glimmer spun around lifting her hand to gesture around the foyer "Casa Glimmer!"

"Very nice," Adora replied.

"Might as well be Casa Bow too, I know this place like the back of my hand." Bow said with a wistful smile.

"Well duh, your dads' know Our cook is better than yours." Glimmer teased, it was one of Glimmers favourite things that Bow did consider her place home.

"Netossa" Glimmer said happy to have found someone, she needed to know if her mom was home, she was always meant to check in when she got home, this way she wouldn't waste time looking for her."Where's my mom?"

"Ms Moon is in her office"

"Okay. Oh, wait. Netossa this is Adora!" Glimmer said gesturing to Adora.

"Oh right yeah.' Adora said sticking out her hand.

"Nice to meet you, though the amount Adora and Bow talk about you feel like I've known you a while."

"Oh, Glimmer what have you been saying?" Adora flushed in a way that was way too cute

"All good things, all good things. It might be a bit annoying but crushes are that way. Spinnerella and I were the worst when we first met, annoyed the hell out of our roommates."

"Oh well, a let's go see mom bye!" Glimmer said dragging Adora with her. God don't go spilling her secrets, was she crushing on Adora? Well yes, but no need to point it out like that.

"Wait your mom is in her office!" Adora shouted at her, tugging her hand back.

Glimmer and Bow turned to her, "yeah" Glimmer said. Adora looked worried, Glimmer felt a wave of concern and confusion. What was freaking the girl out so much?

"What's wrong with that?" Bow asked.

"I just you don't want to go in there okay? It's her private space, won't she be super pissed if we go in there?"

"Well I mean we'll knock first but she'll want to know I'm home. She's not gonna be mad" Glimmer explained putting her hand on Adora. She felt bad what had she done to whig her out so bad. Adora was kinda confusing like that. Glimmer had anxiety before after her dad died, but Adora was even more confusing. She was almost always seemingly on edge and jumpy but tried to act all chill. It was a puzzle to work out how she could be the best friend, it was a bit worrisome but it was something she wanted to do.

"But you should just wait till she's done and then maybe longer till she comes out" Adora suggested rubbing her arm.

"Why?" Bow asked.

Adora looked frantically between them she bawled her hands together. Glimmer bit her lip and gave Adora a hug. Glimmer felt better when Adora relaxed in her arms.

"I guess just. Shadow Weaver doesn't much like it when we go into her office." Adora explained with a shrug.

"Well, my mom will be fine, actually more annoyed if I don't go see her," Glimmer explained.

"Ahh your home." her mom said with a tired smile.

"Yup!" Glimmer said.

"Spinnerella and Netossa are staying for dinner tonight as well. They are doing work in the conservatory. So don't be too loud " Her mom said.

Glimmer sighed work work work, "Yes mom."

"Oh, Adora?" Mrs Moon said tilting her head to meet Adora's eyes who was awkwardly standing in the doorway

"Yes Ms Moon," Adora said standing all the way up like a soldier at attention

"It's nice to have you here," She said with a calming smile, "Glimmer can get a little wound up at sleepovers so I'll remind her of lights out if you need to sleep before your game."

"Mom" Glimmer whined, "let's go Adora."

Glimmer led Adora through the rest of the house stopping for snacks they made their way to her room.

"What ya think," She said feeling her heart beat faster as she made eye contact with Adora. Hoping she would like her room.

"It's pretty," Adora said, "sparkly"

Glimmer nodded it was that. Her walls were lavender and most of her stuff matched that colour scheme but quite a few things were glitter painted she thought it had a magic vibe.

Adora sat on the bed.

"We should pick clothes for the party tomorrow," Bow said with a serious expression, Glimmer nodded. She and Bow did not fuck around with parties.

"First major party of the year is serious business" Bow added

"It is?" Adora said worriedly.

"Yeah, but it'll be fine. You have us, not to mention your one of the best players." Glimmer said.

"Does the opposing team come to the parties?" Adora asked.

"Not usually why?" Glimmer asked.

"Well, Catra is on the fright zone team."

"Your foster sister?" Bow said sitting beside her.

"Yeah. I mean she will probably be there she does like playing. But she's been, out of it. So she might not go just to cause trouble. or if her grades have been really bad. But it will be the first time we play against each other if she is there."

"Oh." Glimmer said, "it'll be fine though I promise, it's just a friendly"

"Right."

"Okay so dresses?" Glimmer said, "let's go!"

Glimmer pulled a stack of dresses, she had asked her mom to order some in Adora's size since she and Glimmer were not the same size and all of Glimmer's fancy clothes were tailor-made. She and Bow laid them all out and studied them. What would look best on Adora, with her long blond hair and bright blue eyes?

"What are ya know, the rules?" Adora asked as Bow sat behind her messing with hairstyles.

"For the most part just not do anything too stupid," Glimmer said. "It's at Mermista's place, but her mom is still there so it won't get super rowdy and parties for us tend to try and mimic grown-up parties."

"Meaning?"

"Dress fancy, small talk, but it often kind of dissolves into just chilling with music. "

"Right." Adora sighed.

Glimmer enjoyed planning the outfit and eventually, Adora seemed to get into it relaxing into the calm atmosphere. They turned the music on bopping along to Glimmers pregame playlists. A nice mix of all the best pump up songs. Some Katy Perry, Fall Out Boy, Green Day, Taylor Swift, Sia. Adora even started to sing alone when Praying by Kesha started playing.

By dinner time they had it all worked out so Glimmer was giddy heading down the stairs. She knew it would go well, and Adora was having fun. Glimmer wanted Adora to have fun, she was always stressed and it was cute when she started to relax and seem to enjoy everything.

At dinner, Spinerella and Netossa seemed to want to embarrass Glimmer.

"I remember when she was little she used to run around with wings pretending she could fly. It was so cute." Netossa told them.

Spinnerella brought up the story of how when Glimmer first started martial arts she would throw glitter with her punches. By the end, she thought she might permanently be blushing to Bow's very visible intense amusement.

Adora and Glimmer did the dishes since Spinnerella had cooked.

"So how are you doing?" Glimmer asked Adora, looked tired.

"Tired. All of this excitement you know. Being around your family it's all new."

"Well, we can go to sleep after this?"

"Sounds good."

Glimmer took her upstairs and showed her the guest room.

"This guest room can be yours tonight. Bow basically has his own room next to mine."

"Oh right." Adora said, "you have two guest rooms?"

"Well yeah." Glimmer shrugged.

"Okay. Ah, good night." Adora said. Though they both stood there for a long time before Glimmer flinched.

"Adora. It was fun having you. And like I said Bow practically lives here. It's normal for us to sleep in our own rooms. Even with sleepovers and parties. So like your not being a bother or anything. "

"Okay," Adora said yawning,

"Night." Glimmer said. God Adora was even more cute sleepy.


	8. Sleepovers & Cigarettes Part II: Adora

_CW: Smoking, nightmares, descriptions of anxiety, implied/referenced child abuse, implied/referenced child neglect, Victim blaming, classism_

Adora walked into the room she was staying in. The idea that she was staying in a guest room by herself made her feel uncomfortable. Sitting on the bed all she could think about was that it was cold on a bed alone. Catra and Adora had been sleeping on the same bed for almost a decade. Nightmares had been the main reason.

When she was little Adora would wake up terrified and start bawling. Catra would come over to her and her eyes would lock with Adora's. Catra's eyes were so special the heterochromia became the reminder she was okay, she wasn't alone. Catra didn't usually say much but just the feeling of another person was enough to remind Adora she was not alone.

When Catra would wake from her nightmares she generally jumped from the bed. The first few times Catra would curl up on the floor and Adora had to coax her on to her bed. But eventually, Catra would jump from her bed directly to Adora's arms and Adora would remind her she was safe. As if Adora's arms could protect her from whatever was in her nightmares. Without ever really talking about it they just started using "Catra's" bed as a place to store things and "Adora's" bed was now their bed.

Adora did fall asleep though but she woke up and screaming only a few minutes later. She spun wildly searching for Catra. but no eyes shown back at her, no warm hands grasped hers. She felt terror sit her stomach her heart rate doubling. Why was she all alone, she didn't want to be alone. God, what was she doing here? She stumbled to her feet trying to put the pieces together she looked around the hallway and saw a painting of Glimmer and her mom. Right she was at the Moon's house. That's why she was alone, Catra was at home. Her mouth was dry and brain fuzzy from the adrenalin crash. The only thing her mind could focus on was water. So Adora crept to the kitchen on the balls of her feet quite as possible. A stroke of bad luck had her smacking right into Ms Moon.

"Oof," Adora said backing away.

"What are you doing up at 2 am?" Ms moon asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Couldn't sleep. Sorry."

"Not your fault."

"Alright," Adora said awkwardly staring at Ms moon who blocked her way towards the faucet. Her danger alarms rang in here ears revving up her heart rate again trying to push her back to alertness.

Ms moon took in a deep breath and spoke, "Adora my daughter has grown quite fond of you, so has Bow. Now I like you fine as well, but I know you have a history of dangerous behaviour. I'm sure you can understand why I might have some apprehension around your relationship with my daughter. Glimmer is the most important thing to me. "

Adora felt like she'd been slapped in the face. She quickly said, "You have no idea about any of that."

"Adora I believe in second chances and Glimmers trust in you goes a long way. "

"Why are you telling me this" Adora said staring through her lashes at the tired expression across Ms Moon's face.

"Adora I'm not an idiot, I know what you, allegedly, did was tied up in a world you were too young to chose to be in. I know that Hordak uses children for his ends. But I also know change is hard, and I will not be happy if my daughter comes home smelling like cigarettes or worse." She looked at the jacket Adora had pulled over her pyjamas

"I live with two smokers I'm going to smell like it. I haven't been stupid enough to be involved with that or anything else to get me kicked out"

"Adora," Ms moon started

"I'm sorry I make you worry by hanging with Glimmer. But I will try to do what's best." Adora interrupted too tired to keep having this conversation. Ms Moon took a long stride towards Adora who backed up, her danger alarm ringing even louder in her head. She knew she was about to get yelled at, maybe even catch a fist to the face. But the woman just sighed.

"I'm sorry Adora. I didn't intend to upset you so much. Good night. "

Adora scrambled back upstairs without her searched for water. She saw Glimmer's door hesitated but couldn't go back to being alone. She opened the door and stumbled into a coat rack waking Glimmer.

"Huh, who's there?"

"It's Adora."

"Something wrong?"

"I've not slept on my own in years. Catra sleeps in my room."

"Oh alright, you can lay next to me tonight." Glimmer said with a slight sleepy slur. Glimmer's expression was soft and welcoming. Adora flopped on the bed curling into herself. Glimmer's calm breathing finally allowing Adora's spidey senses to calm down.

The next morning Adora woke with a start staring around her quickly noting Glimmer getting ready brushing her short hair into the perfect floof.

"Morning Adora." She said tossing Adora's uniform at her.

"Morning."

"Better get dressed quickly gotta have some food before you go win"

"Who says we're going to win?" Adora half-joked. Glimmer just rolled her eyes.

She changed into her uniform. Adora and Glimmer blushed when they caught each other's eyes as Adora was half-naked.

They made their way to breakfast. An excited Bow was telling an amused Ms Moon about his ideas for chants. He was of course on the hype squad.

They sat down and Adora deliberately looked everywhere but Ms Moon. not wanting to stare into disapproval before she was meant to play. Games days were normally the least stressful, however, the tension and excitement level around her said that wasn't the case at this home.

"You're quite Adora" Bow but into Adora's careful attempts to be ignored.

"Just getting in the right headspace."

"Getcha, getcha head in the game" Glimmer said in a sing-song voice.

"High school musical? For real?" Adora teased but she smiled too.

"Good luck today. I hope playing your old teammates won't be too hard."

Adora looked at Ms Moon with narrowed That must have been why she warned her last night. She knew Adora along with Glimmer and Bow would be around her old school friends. Friends Ms Moon only knew from school and police records, not from real life. Maybe if she could do well today, not get Glimmer or Bow in trouble Ms Moonwouldn't feel the need to be so intense about it all.

When they did get to the field Adora did feel odd about playing the other team. She liked her current team a lot but she did miss her old team and seeing her old school uniforms on the other side of the field was disconcerting.

Adora was lacing up her cleats while Bow and Glimmer discussed chants when she heard,

"Hey, Adora."

She looked up and there was a smirking Catra in uniform but with the sleeves cut off as she had done for years.

"Catra."

Glimmer and Bow snapped to look at the mention of the name.

"I like the digs, though are they sure about the white? I'm into the gold but won't those get stained easy?"

"I don't know I didn't choose the look."

A long pause hung over them.

"So gonna introducing me?" She asked gesturing behind Adora.

"Yeah right. Catra this is Bow and Glimmer."

"Hey." Bow said with a wave.

"Nice to finally see you in person Adora's mentioned you quite a bit." Glimmer replied.

"Yeah you're her new best friends," Catra said with jazz hands

The comments sarcasm and derision showing through strong.

"Be nice Catra. And shouldn't you be stretching with your team?" Adora said standing.

"You're not my team captain anymore," Catra reported crossing her arms looking up at Adora.

"Yeah but I still don't want you to get into trouble."

"Oh Adora trouble finds me. Plus I'm not supposed to warm up the team. I'm a 'distraction' not my fault they can't take their eyes off me"

"Sure."

"and I kicked Lonnie in the shins before she put on shin guards" Catra added

"Uhuh." Adora sighed

"Look I didn't even call Lonnie names and she's pissed coach made an exception on the whole grades rule."

"Well, you were always one of the top players." Adora smiled, Catra was pretty amazing on the field.

"Course I am. Now I'm the best player, they seem aware the periodic table has nothing to do with rather I can kick ass."

"Just be careful okay? You can kick Lonnie's ass but not everyone alone"

"Who says I'm alone." Catra snapped.

"I'm just having your back"

They stared at each other intently till Catra shrugged

"Look I know you have shit to do after the game but come say bye before you leave?" Catra said her tone shifting from mockery to painful sincerity.

"Of course," Adora said.

"That was a really intense pre-game conversation." Bow said.

Adora turned to her friends. Catra was complicated, they were complicated. In a way, she didn't think Bow and Glimmer were. Explaining it would be impossible.

The game itself was wonderfully distracting. Everything on the field was second nature. The social rules were just don't be an over the top dick, no silent conversations or unwritten rules. Everything flowed with the familiar feeling of her foot hitting the ball. The mud splattering her legs and the smell of dirt and sweat.

Afterwards, she was listening to her team cheer about the victory while an announcer read out how much money they had raised for the fright zone team. Adora loved watching her whole school cheer for something she was a part of. Then she remembered her agreement with Catra she split across the field before the Fright Zone team could leave.

She spotted Catra behind the bleachers smoking. A vaguely familiar girl leaning against the wall with her.

"Catra," Adora said glad to have caught up with her.

"Hey,"

"who's your friend?"

"This is Scorpia." Catra said, "She has my back."

Catra's harsh tone and expression made the unsaid 'now that you don't' louder than the words actually said.

"Hey. Nice to meet you" Scorpia greeted shaking Adora's hand rather enthusiastically.

"Good to meet you. Glad Catra has someone on her six."

"Oh yeah. The Cadets don't mess with us like they used to. Though pulling a knife might be the real reason for that." Scorpia said thoughtfully

"You did what now?" Adora rounded on Catra

"Like you haven't done the same fucking thing." Catra drawled.

"You know that was different. That was already life and death a fight with the Cadets during lunch isn't."

"I don't have to let people fuck with me. I get enough of that at home, not to mention how that it's just me they can't think I'm weak. It's good they know I could kill them, only way people respect me"

"You don't have to live like that Catra you have a job. You can get out!"

"I need more than that now since your not bringing in anything. I can't do nothing, I still have plans even if you forgot. Plus someone has to buy the shit so we don't die"

They stared at each other for a long moment.

"Umm, so you played well," Scorpia commented awkwardly.

"So did you Catra. The coach was right to let you play. You're the only one who actually scored for the fright zone." Adora said trying to bring down the tension.

"Yeah, I know." Catra shrugged, "You're also the best with your people. They should make you captain."

"They only let seniors do it."

"That's bullshit."

Adora leaned on the cold metal the sounds of the fright zone bus pulling away "Your bus just left you."

"We're not exactly welcome," Scorpia said with a deflated expression

"Shadow Weaver gonna come to get you?"

"Ha, not a chance. We're gonna catch a regular bus."

Adora breathed in a long moment. The ground under the bleachers managed to be even more squashy then the field, the afternoon sun dimmer and the air colder. It also might be the lack of easy warmth and comfort they were for each other even when snarling at each other. Right then she felt distant like an ice wall stood in the few feet the separated them.

"Want one," Catra asked holding out the box to Adora. Catra's face and outstretched hand her version of an olive branch. She shook the carton once, Adora hesitated but then took it. Scorpia offered her lighter which had a scorpion on it how cute. Adora breathed deeply she had had never been as much of a smoker as Catra or Shadow Weaver but she hasn't exactly been a straight edge about anything. The amount of time spent around nicotine, alcohol and THC made it an easy choice.

In her new social world apparently, those who partook in any illicit substance mostly did over the holidays where it wouldn't show up in drug tests. The school was so strict it made everyone seem like better-behaved people then they would probably otherwise.

Adora leaned next to Catra.

"Sorry I snapped," Catra mumbled knocking her foot into Adora's.

"I understand I should know better than to try and tell you what to do."

Catra stood in front of Adora a long moment then leaned into her. Catra pressing her forehead on Adora's shoulder. The ice wall collapsing as the familiar bushy brown hair hit Adora's face.

Their touching moment was interrupted by Glimmer and Bow.

"What are you doing Adora?" Bow asked.

Catra stood up and took a defensive posture.

"You're so stupid. You know you can't do that shit at Grayskull" Glimmer said walking forward

"Just stay over there," Adora said holding out her hand

"God that stuff will kill you. You play sports do you want to destroy your lungs."Glimmer chided hotly.

"Wow, Adora you got some cool friends," Catra said blowing an overly large puff of smoke into the air.

"We are fun. we just don't require sucking tar to look cool. We actually support Adora" Glimmer snapped rolling her eyes

Catra peeled off Adora's side, her smooth agile movements projecting a certain menace. "Ahh, tiny glitter princess thinks she knows what's best. News flash you are a little late with your anti-smoking PSA. Also, shoplifting and pretty much anything they tell you not to do in health class. "

"How about we all calm down," Scorpia said but moved behind Catra.

Adora faltered she should have walked away with Glimmer and Bow right then. But it was familiar, with Catra under the bleachers. They had been the last picked up from games sense co-ed soccer learned a lot of ways to waste time. There was something comforting about doing what she always had.

"This why you disappeared before the post-game talk?" Glimmer snapped trying to ignore Catra but Adora saw they were both in fight mode.

"What was there to talk about. We won. The strategy worked." Adora show back irritated.

"Come on we have to get to Glimmer's place. Get ready for the party." Bow half begged.

"Aww, Adora you gonna go with them. We could have so much more fun." Catra said running her hand over Adora's arm, leaning in so they almost touched noses and winked. It was an odd gesture they weren't exactly touchy-feely in public. Then she saw the anger on Glimmer's face and she got it.

"Adora com on." Glimmer said.

Catra locked eyes with Adora.

Adora glanced between the two. If she went home with Catra they would probably be impulsive and dumb. Catra was in do something stupid mode. Adora knew she couldn't be stupid and stay at Grayskull. Picking fights, running away, joy riding, getting high or whatever it would be, she couldn't do that. Adora had things she wanted to do, she wanted to help people like her and Catra, wanted to make a big difference. She couldn't do that without GraySkull.

She also knew not going meant Catra would be at the mercy of someone else backing up her stupidity. But Catra had said she could protect herself, and Adora would be back tomorrow clean her up to make sure she was okay. The fancy party might be confusing, or boring but she could pretend to enjoy it if she had to.

"I have to leave Catra." She snuffed out the cigarette on the bleachers and went to follow Glimmer."I'm sorry she said" Glancing back trying to ignore the level of hurt on Catra's face.

The drive to Glimmer's was tense Adora felt a kind of judgment flowing from her friends. It was honestly pissing her off.

In Glimmers room, Adora flopped on the bed her two new friends staring at her.

"Okay before we get worked up would you like to explain what happened back there?" Bow questioned.

"What's to explain? Catra wanted to talk we smoked it was normal."

"Adora you know better than to do that." Glimmer said.

Adora sat up meeting their eyes, "Do I? I know I have to be good enough for your world, and maybe I won't ever be. Maybe I don't fit in here. That was the kind of shit we did after games. News flash I have done lots of things not sanctioned by your handbooks. Including smoking with my friends. Yeah I know it kills your lungs but Shadow Weaver smoked around us since forever. "

"You don't have to do the same shit as your mother." Glimmer said, "I don't!"

"Shadow Weaver isn't my mother." Adora yelled "It's not just her. My friends have always done stuff we aren't supposed to do. And everyone who didn't want to was chill with it happening. And Shadow Weaver she just gave it to us anyway. You just don't understand."

"Then help us too." Bow said weakly

Adora stared at them. There was so much she could say, about how confusing it all was. High school for her was different. How could she explain how she wasn't sure she always knew right from wrong. If everyone did it, did it matter? What about the way Shadow Weaver treated them, what part of that was normal and okay? What part of it was wrong? Was everything she and Catra did to live worth it, did the ends justify the means? She could tell them about picking herself and Catra up when it got bad. But then shouldn't, couldn't not really. They might hate her. What if they thought she was saying Shadow Weaver was wrong for no reason. It was okay, Catra misbehaved, Adora was never perfect enough. Or they thought it was bad and that Adora was to messed up for them. Adora felt her nerves start to burn as the breath wouldn't get all the way into her.

"Hey, Adora." Glimmer said Adora met her kind gaze. "I'm sorry I was so, harsh about it. I just don't want you to get kicked out. And I guess maybe I'm jealous that Catra is your first best friend. And I hate seeing my friends hurt, even if their the ones hurting themselves."

"You can all be my best friends. And yeah I know I won't do that shit" Adora said.


	9. Good Nights and Knives Part I: Bow

CW: Injuries, mentions of blood, implied child abuse, past violence

Bow hated that Adora was lying to them. He could tell, at least she wasn't being completely honest. No one with any sense wouldn't notice something more, something bad was happening to her. He didn't know what, but people didn't get panic attacks as she did for no reason, no one was on edge all the time for no reason either. He wished she would help them understand. Even if they have only been friends for two months but the idea someone he cared about was in so much pain was upsetting.

But the party was a good distraction. Adora and Glimmer both calmed down watching Sea Hawk sing dumb songs and Mermista look so embarrassed the whole time. Perfuma got on one of her rants about flowers, which while none of them really cared she looked so excited to tell them about the underwater photosynthesis of some rare flower that it was fun to just watch her be so in love with what she was saying.

Pizza was eaten in copious amounts and everyone made the most gigantic ice cream sundaes. Even Frosta seemed to relax even something not usually seen. Forsta acted the most mature so they wouldn't see her as a kid, but she was the baby always would be but everyone knew she was probably smarter than all of them combined. So the title of the baby of the group came from all affection.

As they left rather late Adora looked worried.

"I'm gonna catch the red-eye back home," she said.

"Wate why?" Bow said tilting his head.

"Yeah, you can stay at my place again." Glimmer added hopefully. She was so crushing on Adora so hard it was cute.

"No, I gotta go. I need to check on Catra." Adora explained,

"Well alright." Glimmer said, "Be safe."

"No Worries I have pepper spray in my purse," Adora said waving as she went to the bus stop.

Bow was worried all night and stayed worried the next day.

"What's bothering you?" His dad asked over a bowl of Lucky Charms

"Adora caught a midnight bus back home last night and hasn't texted me back."

"Don't worry son." his father said, "from what you said she seems tough as nails.'

'She is. But no matter how tough she is I can still worry."

"Course you can, she's your friend." His dad said with a kind smile.

His patience was running thin when Adora texted him the pictures she had taken of them at the party and he smiled, she was okay well relatively.

That had been the wrong thought when Adora came into school holding her side and looking exhausted.

"Adora are you okay?" Bow said worry flooding through him.

"Yeah, it's no big deal." She shrugged, "just an accident."

Bow did not believe that. A noncommittal shrug and half-smile did not make that she was clearly injured any better.

His suspicions were validated when he saw Adora and Glimmer stalk out the bathroom looking pissed.

"Adora who stabbed you!" Glimmer hissed barely audible as Bow came closer to his friends.

"It doesn't matter!" Adora shot back.

"Of course it matters!" Glimmer yelled

"You got stabbed?!" Bow squeaked rushing over to the half-dressed out Adora.

"Lightly stabbed." Adora joked.

"Not the time for jokes," Glimmer said.

"It's not like I haven't been stabbed before." Adora sighed leaning on the wall.

"Also not reassuring," Bow said the knot of worry he'd been crying for days growing.

"Look okay. Catra wasn't expecting me home, so when I came into her room she thought I was...someone else so she defended herself." Adora shrugged closing her eyes looking exhausted. The anger drained from him Adora looked so tired. That was when they saw blood seeping through her shirt.

"Jesus Adora." Glimmer said dragging her forward, "You need to go to the nurse. You're bleeding."

"Am I?" Adora muttered, "wait, no doctors."

Adora pressed on her side and her friends trailed her to her locker.

She fumbled with her bag wincing. Bow grabbed it for her opening it up. She fished out bandages and sat down dressing her wound with more familiarity then he would have liked.

"See fine," she said pulling her jacked from the locker putting it on hiding the blood.

"Not fine!" Bow said feeling way overwhelmed.

"Look okay." Adora made eye contact, "I know this isn't the best thing...but involving the school, or doctors will make things worse."

"What!" Glimmer said.

"I don't need police fucking involved with this. Or doctors, I have to take care of my own shit." Adora slammed her locker

"Okay." Bow said, "okay."

It was clear pushing her on this would make it. He placed a calm hand on Glimmer stopping to retort clearly on her tongue.


	10. Good Nights & Knives part II: Catra

_CW: Child abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, blood & moderate other forms of violence_

Catra was at a park lying on her back on a bench. She couldn't pretend it hadn't hurt, it hurt a lot actually. Adora chose those fucking yuppies over her, sending a losing Catra back to Shadow Waver. After spending an hour being told she was worthless, and asking what Adora had done, and how at least Adora knew how to win. She had climbed out of her window and snuck to the park.

God, she knew that Shadow Weaver only didn't kill her because Adora liked her. But if Adora wasn't there who was even going to try and stop Shadow weaver? No one else ever would. If Shadow Weaver didn't see a need for Carta god what would happen to her? Adora had always backed her up, even if she didn't stop it, it was the two of them against the world.

The first memory to come flood her mind was a sentimental moment was from third grade maybe earlier everything was fuzzy around it. What was clear was that Adora and Catra snuck into Shadow Weaver's office. It was filled with liquor and papers. Shadow Weave had been mad, it had escalated rather fast after that.

"You know Catra you really are determined to make yourself more trouble than you're worth you know? Adora is found of you, and well I can't really send you back if I don't have a reason. So I keep you around, your troublemaking might push me too far one day" Shadow Weaver had said, in the memory, she seemed so big, her voice so all-consuming. Catra had been so scared, even though she had felt pain since she was baby this still hurt so much. A grown woman's slap on a child's face seemed like the worst pain ever with every strike.

"Stop it" Adora had shouted to the dismay of Shadow Weaver.

"Adora, stop this insolence. You really need to keep a better eye on Catra here. Make sure she doesn't get in trouble too often. You have so much potential, don't let Catra waste it." Shadow Weaver said the faux effection stunted by the anger still there while cupping Adora's face in her hands.

"Yes, ma'am" Adora had spluttered out.

They had run from the room curling on the bed. Adora had snuggled next to her arms wrapping her up like she could shield Catra from the world.

"I'm scared." Catra whimpered

"It's' just us right now. You and me, you're safe."Adora ran her hand over Catra's hair.

Catra laid her hand on Adora and Adora returned the gesture. The warmth of the intention and touch contrasting so much to Shadow Wever's cold hand.

"Nothing really bad can happen to us as long as we're together," Adora said her voice loud in the desolate room.

"Promise?" Catra asked staring at Adora's big eyes.

"I promise."

Catra mouthed the words as every part of the memory rushed over her.

That triggered another memory from freshman year of high school. Adora and she were curled on their bed, they'd spent the day doing courier work for Hordak and came home to being yelled at by Shadow Weaver, calling Catra worthless for the thousandth time. Adora had tried to stop it, but that didn't work Shadow Weaver telling her again that she was better than this, with that fake comforting pat.

"You know. When we're sixteen we can leave." Catra said as they sat on the bed tears rolling down her cheeks, she didn't bother to wipe them away when it was only Adora.

"Yeah, I've heard of that." Adora had said calmly brushing her own tears from her eyes before doing Catra's.

"We should do that together then you know? It's you and me against the world, right? So we could have an apartment just us."

"That sounds good."

"I just hate it here. It's just so fucked. It's hell." Catra had said staring at the drab grey walls.

"I know. But it's you and me. As long as we're together ya know we can survive."

"So you'll leave with me?" Catra said softly.

"Yeah, Catra and Adora together forever."

"Promise?"

"Course I do."

Catra started to cry tears ran down her face hot and burning. Her body coping the same way her younger self had. But right now Adora wasn't here, so she rubbed her arm across her eyes. How the fuck was this fine, why did Adora get to leave? Why did she choose to leave? She promised she would always be there for Catra and she wasn't. Hadn't been since she went to that stupid school. So she had to put up with all of it alone. She just kept being hurt over and over again never fighting back enough.

She was done waiting around, done being hurt. She was sixteen if she wanted to leave she would. Hopefully, Adora would leave too, but if not well then that would be that, it wouldn't break her heart she'd be fine, really she would be. Catra slunk back to the house trying to move through without being heard. But it didn't work she got to the top of the stairs and was met with Shadow Weaver's sickening grin triggering Catra to bare her teeth. Like it could scare her away, it wouldn't though.

Shadow Weaver grabbed Cata arms shoving her against the wall staring down at her.

"You went to your room hours ago. So why are you not there?"

"You know we leave through the window." Catra snapped, not in the mood.

"Who are we?"

"Adora..." And Catra faltered, right she isn't here.

"See you did always get her into trouble. Did you know she got in trouble earlier this year for staying with you after you made a mistake."

No, you made a mistake, was what ran through Catra's mind. But something still keeps those words shoved back into her throat. A small whine was all the made it past her lips.

"Exactly. You're lucky I still keep you around."

A second thrust smacked the back of Catra's head to the wall.

"Now go to bed."

Catra ran into her room. Her breathing ragged in her chest her lungs burning leaning on the bedside table catching her breath. A picture of Catra and Adora mocked her their young faces were both smiling. It was taken at a soccer game, god kiddie soccer. Catra is on Adora's back waving her hands around. They look so stupid, and young. But they weren't ever young were they not really. Adora was abandoned, alone, tossed aside. Catra had only known the violence of every kind. They never got to be real kids. But that was as close as they got, that and a naive sort of trust in each other that they could fight if they had each other.

"Fuck Fuck" Catra screamed she smashed the photo with her fist and just devolved into throwing everything around the room.

Long sighs and chocked sobs shook her body as she laid down on her bed. Might as well sleep, nothing else to do she thought putting her earbuds in. Playing music really loud to block out the world long enough to sleep was pointless though but all she could think of Shadow Weaver coming back in, how angry she was that Adora wasn't home on time, somehow it is her fault. God one of Hordak's men could come inside. And alone in the dark all of dark that ate in her mind from before she could really remember filled her stomach with cold dread. God she turned over and pulled the knife from her school bag. She slid it under her pillow. Anyone who came through that door uninvited would go out bleeding.

The door clicked forcing her from half-asleep to bolt upright and alter. A shadowy figure advanced and Catra shoved the blade forward the blade hitting flash. A shout sounded out causing Catra to stumble back. She turned her phone using it as a flashlight to see who she had stabbed. Then she saw Adora on the ground holding her hand on her bloody side.

"Oh god Adora I'm so sorry." Catra slid to the ground.

"What the fuck Catra?" Adora huffed.

"I thought you were Shadow Weaver," Catra admitted pulling their first aid kit out. She patched up Adora up. They didn't say anything else for the whole process.

"She hurt you again?" Adora said as Catra helped her into a different shirt.

"Yeah," Catra said they both breathed out a long breath leaning against the bed.

"I'm sorry," Adora said.

"Yeah," Catra repeated.

"Please don't stab me again?"

"Not in my plan," Catra said dryly.

"Right. If I come in late I'll announce myself."

"Sure" was all Catra could manage

"Yeah," Adora said.


	11. Ordinary Holidays, Part I: Adora

_CW: Child abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, blood & moderate other forms of violence_

Catra was at a park lying on her back on a bench. She couldn't pretend it hadn't hurt, it hurt a lot actually. Adora chose those fucking yuppies over her, sending a losing Catra back to Shadow Waver. After spending an hour being told she was worthless, and asking what Adora had done, and how at least Adora knew how to win. She had climbed out of her window and snuck to the park.

God, she knew that Shadow Weaver only didn't kill her because Adora liked her. But if Adora wasn't there who was even going to try and stop Shadow weaver? No one else ever would. If Shadow Weaver didn't see a need for Carta god what would happen to her? Adora had always backed her up, even if she didn't stop it, it was the two of them against the world.

The first memory to come flood her mind was a sentimental moment was from third grade maybe earlier everything was fuzzy around it. What was clear was that Adora and Catra snuck into Shadow Weaver's office. It was filled with liquor and papers. Shadow Weave had been mad, it had escalated rather fast after that.

"You know Catra you really are determined to make yourself more trouble than you're worth you know? Adora is found of you, and well I can't really send you back if I don't have a reason. So I keep you around, your troublemaking might push me too far one day" Shadow Weaver had said, in the memory, she seemed so big, her voice so all-consuming. Catra had been so scared, even though she had felt pain since she was baby this still hurt so much. A grown woman's slap on a child's face seemed like the worst pain ever with every strike.

"Stop it" Adora had shouted to the dismay of Shadow Weaver.

"Adora, stop this insolence. You really need to keep a better eye on Catra here. Make sure she doesn't get in trouble too often. You have so much potential, don't let Catra waste it." Shadow Weaver said the faux effection stunted by the anger still there while cupping Adora's face in her hands.

"Yes, ma'am" Adora had spluttered out.

They had run from the room curling on the bed. Adora had snuggled next to her arms wrapping her up like she could shield Catra from the world.

"I'm scared." Catra whimpered

"It's' just us right now. You and me, you're safe."Adora ran her hand over Catra's hair.

Catra laid her hand on Adora and Adora returned the gesture. The warmth of the intention and touch contrasting so much to Shadow Wever's cold hand.

"Nothing really bad can happen to us as long as we're together," Adora said her voice loud in the desolate room.

"Promise?" Catra asked staring at Adora's big eyes.

"I promise."

Catra mouthed the words as every part of the memory rushed over her.

That triggered another memory from freshman year of high school. Adora and she were curled on their bed, they'd spent the day doing courier work for Hordak and came home to being yelled at by Shadow Weaver, calling Catra worthless for the thousandth time. Adora had tried to stop it, but that didn't work Shadow Weaver telling her again that she was better than this, with that fake comforting pat.

"You know. When we're sixteen we can leave." Catra said as they sat on the bed tears rolling down her cheeks, she didn't bother to wipe them away when it was only Adora.

"Yeah, I've heard of that." Adora had said calmly brushing her own tears from her eyes before doing Catra's.

"We should do that together then you know? It's you and me against the world, right? So we could have an apartment just us."

"That sounds good."

"I just hate it here. It's just so fucked. It's hell." Catra had said staring at the drab grey walls.

"I know. But it's you and me. As long as we're together ya know we can survive."

"So you'll leave with me?" Catra said softly.

"Yeah, Catra and Adora together forever."

"Promise?"

"Course I do."

Catra started to cry tears ran down her face hot and burning. Her body coping the same way her younger self had. But right now Adora wasn't here, so she rubbed her arm across her eyes. How the fuck was this fine, why did Adora get to leave? Why did she choose to leave? She promised she would always be there for Catra and she wasn't. Hadn't been since she went to that stupid school. So she had to put up with all of it alone. She just kept being hurt over and over again never fighting back enough.

She was done waiting around, done being hurt. She was sixteen if she wanted to leave she would. Hopefully, Adora would leave too, but if not well then that would be that, it wouldn't break her heart she'd be fine, really she would be. Catra slunk back to the house trying to move through without being heard. But it didn't work she got to the top of the stairs and was met with Shadow Weaver's sickening grin triggering Catra to bare her teeth. Like it could scare her away, it wouldn't though.

Shadow Weaver grabbed Cata arms shoving her against the wall staring down at her.

"You went to your room hours ago. So why are you not there?"

"You know we leave through the window." Catra snapped, not in the mood.

"Who are we?"

"Adora..." And Catra faltered, right she isn't here.

"See you did always get her into trouble. Did you know she got in trouble earlier this year for staying with you after you made a mistake."

No, you made a mistake, was what ran through Catra's mind. But something still keeps those words shoved back into her throat. A small whine was all the made it past her lips.

"Exactly. You're lucky I still keep you around."

A second thrust smacked the back of Catra's head to the wall.

"Now go to bed."

Catra ran into her room. Her breathing ragged in her chest her lungs burning leaning on the bedside table catching her breath. A picture of Catra and Adora mocked her their young faces were both smiling. It was taken at a soccer game, god kiddie soccer. Catra is on Adora's back waving her hands around. They look so stupid, and young. But they weren't ever young were they not really. Adora was abandoned, alone, tossed aside. Catra had only known the violence of every kind. They never got to be real kids. But that was as close as they got, that and a naive sort of trust in each other that they could fight if they had each other.

"Fuck Fuck" Catra screamed she smashed the photo with her fist and just devolved into throwing everything around the room.

Long sighs and chocked sobs shook her body as she laid down on her bed. Might as well sleep, nothing else to do she thought putting her earbuds in. Playing music really loud to block out the world long enough to sleep was pointless though but all she could think of Shadow Weaver coming back in, how angry she was that Adora wasn't home on time, somehow it is her fault. God one of Hordak's men could come inside. And alone in the dark all of dark that ate in her mind from before she could really remember filled her stomach with cold dread. God she turned over and pulled the knife from her school bag. She slid it under her pillow. Anyone who came through that door uninvited would go out bleeding.

The door clicked forcing her from half-asleep to bolt upright and alter. A shadowy figure advanced and Catra shoved the blade forward the blade hitting flash. A shout sounded out causing Catra to stumble back. She turned her phone using it as a flashlight to see who she had stabbed. Then she saw Adora on the ground holding her hand on her bloody side.

"Oh god Adora I'm so sorry." Catra slid to the ground.

"What the fuck Catra?" Adora huffed.

"I thought you were Shadow Weaver," Catra admitted pulling their first aid kit out. She patched up Adora up. They didn't say anything else for the whole process.

"She hurt you again?" Adora said as Catra helped her into a different shirt.

"Yeah," Catra said they both breathed out a long breath leaning against the bed.

"I'm sorry," Adora said.

"Yeah," Catra repeated.

"Please don't stab me again?"

"Not in my plan," Catra said dryly.

"Right. If I come in late I'll announce myself."

"Sure" was all Catra could manage

"Yeah," Adora said.


	12. Ordinary Holidays, Part II: Catra

Catra was keeping her distance from Adora as best she could, and it seemed Adora was doing her best to ignore Catra back. It was easy enough, she had started working for Hordak more, that and the diner kept her busy. She needed enough savings to prove she could live on her own. It was a lot of work, but she was finally earning some respect in the world. People didn't pick fights with her anymore. Scorpia was proving a useful partner, and they had picked up another stray into their little misfits' team, Entrapta.

Catra had been talking to Scorpia in the hallway, deciding where they felt like going instead of history class. At that moment they heard a crash from the janitor's closet behind them. Catra gave Scopia a momentarily confused expression before opening the door to see a girl with long purple hair sitting on the ground messing with what looked like a tricked out Roomba in and a large bucket on her leg.

"Hi?" The girl said with a baffled expression.

"Hi!" Scorpia said really loud, "What are you doing in the closet?"

"I'm not technically allowed to have an armed robot on school grounds. I had to hide her so they didn't throw her away."

"You built a killer mini vacuum?" Catra said feeling like she must be being punked.

"Well yes, and no she doesn't vacuum anymore. I have a lot of free time."

"I'm Scorpia," Scorpia said holding her hand out.

"I'm Entrapta," Entrapta said turning back to her robot.

"You know if you want no one to see... her... I suggest the teacher supply closet. The Janitor uses his stuff, there is nothing in the teacher closet they ever use, well when there is even stuff in it." Catra said

"Where's that?"

"Come with me," Catra sighed holding her hand out.

The next day Catra found Entrapta eating alone in the bathroom during lunch.

"What are you doing in here?" Catra asked

"Eating."

"On the tile in the bathroom?"

"It's here or the cafeteria, at least here no one makes fun of me. Well until now, are you here to make fun of me?"

"No that's not what I'm doing. I think I'm going to ask if you want to sit with me and Scorpia for lunch." Catra was honestly taken aback at her own suggestion. But having to fight alone wasn't the best way to go, and Entrapta probably needed some backup.

"Oh, uh sure."

Scorpia was overly excited to have another person under their tree, seemingly adjusting much faster than Catra.

"You know I can make other stuff but weaponized Roombas. I love robots." Entrapta told them when Scorpia asked about her hobbies.

Catra perked up at that. If she was a tech expert it would give their group another skill set. Scorpia was useful in hand to hand combat and like moral support, but Catra was equally good at hand to hand. Catra had to be the one with the plan. Someone with a different ability could come in handy.

"What other stuff have you built?"

"Oh a robot guard dog who really bites. Tiny drones that can record video and shoot stun darts. A robot that can play chess, a robot butler. And an experimental monitoring service that hacks like security cameras, but that only partially works, it's really hard to build that or code it. You know?"

"Have you ever considered putting that tech to practical use?" Catra asked

"My butler brings me tiny food." She said with a big grin, "and my hacking tech means I can watch whatever I want in any streaming service without paying."

"That's very impressive. but your weapons tech, that can be a deterrent no one is going to fuck with the girl who has a killer robot guard. Not to mention you could sell some of it."

"and buy more Tiny Food!"

"Sure. I would love to help you do more with that tech." Catra continued.

"I never thought about that. Most people think I'm lying about my robots. They just call me crazy and a geek."

"Well I believe, and I don't think you're crazy. I think you have a vision, and with the right people at your side you can own this motherfucking world," Catra said. Entrapta's face lit up and she clapped her hands together.

"Yeah, we can all be best friends!" Scorpia announced.

The other two girls were now chatting ecstatically. Catra grimaced she felt a tad bit..bad. She was using Entrapta she didn't really care if they were friends, it was just so easy to get someone like her to follow you. Entrapta obviously didn't know when it was best to hide your vulnerabilities, which was always.

Catra arrived at Hordak's house/lair or whatever. Everyone knew what Hordack was, but no one can or would do anything about it. Everyone knew this house was a drug kingpins place of business. So you either went in and worked for him, or you just walked past. Everything about Hordak was kind of an open secret. It's just the way things worked because it was easier to let Hordak manage everything then make a power vacuum and force chaos into the city.

Catra had no problem with the job. Why should she care about any of this? The violence was how the world worked, anyone who didn't know that was stupid. Not to mention it was less amoral to Catra, to be honest about what you did and sell what people wanted, then to lie through your teeth about good intentions while you held a knife behind your back.

Today though she wasn't there as the low-level survival dealer. She was there to make her move. Catra was done with being walked over by everyone, and now she had a secret weapon.

They were let into Hordak's main room where he was looking at a tablet swiping through what could be business reports, or it could be twitter.

"Ah Catra, you said you had something to show me?" He said leaning back in his seat pulling himself up to his full height.

Catra just smiled, she wasn't running scared anymore. "Yeah, I do." She nodded to Entrapta who released one of her mini-drones it flew over their heads almost invisible if you aren't looking for it already. The bots released two stun darts into the necks of some grunts.

Hordak leaned forward, "You have new weapons?"

"Unique weapons," Catra confirmed

"To be fair that's impressive but not worth a personal meeting. You could have gone up the proper chain."

"I have more." she snapped her fingers and the drone returned. "This could kill with poison, it also can record audio. A slightly larger version can capture video and audio, you can be a fly on the wall anywhere."

She handed the drone to Hordak who turned it over in his hand. You could almost hear the gears in his brain turning over.

"How many of these can you make?"

Catra looked to Entrapta.

"Oh, I have about 100 of both designs I've been working on them communicating with each other but haven't got there yet. y guard robots have been able to deploy them so they work together."

"That's enough. I'd like a few of each, and if you have any other designs mission capable those as well."

Cara didn't move, there was one more step to this. A verbal request for payment would be stupid and dangerous, holding her ground should show she wasn't a pushover without calling her out.

"Ah, you want payment? Well, I guess it is only fair. What do you have in mind?"

"I'm more than ready to move up. I've been in this business for years, always been loyal and not I'm afraid to get dirty. Most of your drones only skill is punching or a dirty drunk who stopped being useful years ago."

"You want power?" Hordak laughed in a way that had no joy.

Catra nodded breathing hard fighting the urge to run away.

"Granted on a trial basis. Show me you can keep the ward you work in organized. The current boss can take a vacation."

Being in charge suited Catra just fine. Scorpia helped keep people who had other ideas at bay and Entrapta's knowledge had Hordak interested.

After a good day, she was with her to allies drinking an admittedly disgusting warm beer but she wasn't a child anymore. She should celebrate like an adult. Turned out both Scopia and Entrapta had good houses to hang out. Scorpia's parents could literally care less what they did even if they were home all they got was a hand wave and Entrapta's house was always empty. Pulling anything about her history from Entrapta was like pulling teeth her answers always ended up jumping topic leaving you more confused. Speaking of Entrapta she was currently flitting around the room like she was on six red bulls messing with her robots. Scorpia had fallen asleep. Catra made eye contact with the clock which told her it was almost midnight.

Catra climbed in the window of her room missing the step almost falling like six times. She had to remember that cats always landing on their feet did not apply if she had when drunk. It wasn't like Shadow Weaver hadn't mixed it in with cold when they were kids and she needed them to shut up and not cry anymore, compensating for alcohol ought to be second nature. God, she had been such a crybaby back then. Catra did get in the window though falling face forward on to Adora.

She sat up rubbing her head, "Hey Adora."

"Catra," Adora said looking almost happy to see her.

Catra got changed for bed wanting something to do with her hands, she hated that now Adora triggered her nerves nowadays. "What are you doing?"

"Not sleeping," Adora replied leaning back

"I can see that." Catra rolled her eyes.

"Why are you out till almost midnight?"

"Doing some work for Hordak, drinking with some friends." Catra answers. It was the truth though she cringed at how Adora's face fell at the answers

"Are you safe?"

Catra though for a second. Adora still cared but not enough she would ever get involved again. But she also knew Adora wasn't stupid, she knew the work was dangerous not to mention drinking before you stumble home in the dark. "Do you want a lie?"

"Yes," Adora said nodding her voice sounding too soft in the dramatic shadow the moon made.

"Then absolutely," Catra said giving what she did hope was a reassuring smile and winked hoping to break the tension.

She then laid down Adora still sliding her arm around Catra. Like it was nothing like they weren't falling apart.

The school holiday passed in monotone days of emptiness. School started up again and Catra again wondered why she bothered to come. Right to keep truancy officers off her back. Part of her was itching to drop out, but some part of that clearly loved pain, maybe wouldn't let her move on.


	13. Broken Promises, Part I: Catra

It was January 20th, the day of Adora's birthday. Time felt like it was passing agonizingly slow caught in this never-ending holding patters. Adora was seventeen today, it had been a long time now that they could have been emancipated. Catra wanted to scream every time she came home having to stare Shadow Weaver in her face again. The god damn glare in her eyes, whisky and menthols on her breath. Catra was pretty sure she would never forget that sick concoction. She knew they had been connected too long to ever let go of, but she knew it could just be a memory. Everything could be done, scars could stop being etched into her skin, everyone's hatred marking her forever. Catra could leave on her own, she had enough money. Scorpia was eighteen she could be her roommate. Or she could stay above the dinner or something, but some part of her just wanted Adora to choose her. That part of her that was still a scared little kid. Wanted to be there liked they'd planned when they were little.

This unshakable connection was what had Catra in her stuffing-less winter coat and ripped jeans huddled on the top of the hill. The only place where they could see the stars and watch all the traffic drift below them. For just one perfect moment of time not connected to all the noise. They could see everything when Catra climbed the tree and Adora would try to follow and end up sprawled on the ground. They had been coming here for Adora's birthday for years but she hadn't shown so Catra was alone throwing rocks as tears fell down her face. She had told herself she was done crying she wasn't like that anymore, she didn't have the luxury of it anymore. But by the time midnight rolled around she let out a large growl and went back to the house crawling through the window to a cold empty bed she curled in a ball hugging her legs to herself.

The next day she saw Adora and her new friends eating on the porch of the Diner and jumped when Lookie touched her shoulder.

"Looks like you saw them, but your friends are here."

"Yeah." Catra sighed

"It's nice to see Adora it's been a long time she was here. I remember when you first started working here we'd have to have two granola bars on hand."

"But I was the only one you have a long sleeve shirt for," Catra said giving the women a glare.

Catra walked outside and looked at Adora laughing. It was like she'd been hit in the gut.

"Hey, Adora." She said, the anger inside her clawing in her stomach as she creased her lips tight.

"Hi, Catra. I didn't know you were working today."

"Well, you never did ask. I mean I have been saving money or whatever. So I do need the extra cash."

"Sorry, Catra we ended up keeping her all night. She said she didn't ever do stuff for her birthday which is an obvious tragedy. So since she had no plans we kept her" Bow said.

"You didn't have plans." Catra shouted, "I guess that little tradition we have on the hill doesn't count. I'm sorry the best I could do was bring some cheap beer. I'm sure the caviar and professional cooks were much better. They can probably buy real French Champagne or whatever."

"That wasn't what it was about, you know that! I didn't know it would upset you so much." Adora explained

"Fuck you. Of course, you did. I had the paperwork. Because I thought you'd had your fun and were ready to keep your promise."

"Look Catra. I thought you realised that wasn't the plan anymore"

"What? You never said that. You just planned on breaking our promise without even telling me? I'm not a bloody mind reader!

"What are you talking about?" Glimmer asked loudly.

Catra stared at Glimmer and Bow's confused looks. And something hit her, they probably knew none of it. Catra realised and something about that stung. But it was also her chance, chance to push back.

"I guess they don't know huh? They don't know we've had plans for years to get emancipated. That you promised me we'd get out of it?"

" Why would you do that?" Bow said to Adora.

Adora was just looking at Catra with a confused shameful look. But all Catra could fell was anger. Of course, Adora was ashamed of who she used to be, who Catra was.

"Oh well, I guess I'll tell you if she won't. Shadow Weaver is an abusive bitch who's been fucking with our heads our whole lives. I mean you want to know why Adora knows such good first aid? Tending to a bleeding concussed people after Shadow Weaver beat the shit out of me since I was 7 years old! Or that she gave us our first cigarettes, or got us drunk when were eight because cough medicine wouldn't make us shut up. Or when she forced us to work for Hordak. And I'm sure they don't know about all her insults and control,"

"Adora." Bow gasped, "Did she really do that?"

"Yes, I mean yes but it wasn't all like that," Adora mumbled

"Yeah, sometimes we were the ones doing the violence. Do they know you were a drug dealer? Do they know you were arrested after you shoved a knife into a dudes stomach? I'm going to guess they don't do they?" Catra shouted.

"Shut up Catra." Adora cried, "I am making myself better. Those things don't have to define me anymore."

"But you still excuse Shadow Weaver? She's been abusing us since we were tiny." Catra yelled.

"I know that. I just... I don't know what to do. Everything I ... I just wanted to protect you." Adora whispered.

"You wanted to be perfect, be her favourite," Catra yelled.

"Fuck you Catra," Adora said low, "I never wanted that, I just can't fail or you'll get even more hurt, or Lily, or somebody else."

"Yeah, you did such a great job of that!" Catra spat back, "I wanted you to leave with me still. I guess I believed you wouldn't decide to just screw off and leave me. But obviously, it's much more important Adora get into the ivy leagues. It's not like I was your only real friend for a decade, not like any of that matters to you anymore."

"I want to make it so no one gets hurt anymore. No one should live like we did, it's wrong."

"Like you did, Like I still do" Catra hissed,

Adora was shaking but she walked toward Catra, "Please just sit down we can talk about his."

Catra slid her knife from her boot and pointed it at Adora, "No we can't. I'm not fucking around, I don't need you anymore. I'll get out on my own, no one is going to fuck with me ever again, including you. Have a nice life."

Catra then ran as fast as she could away. Not looking back to see Adora's face. Before she knew it she was standing in the house trying to put some clothes and shit in a duffel bag. But then she heard the door slam shut. It pulled from her fugue state as she turned around to see Shadow Weaver.

"What are you doing? Aren't you supposed to be at work or something? Not around here lounging useless." Shadow Weaver sneered

Catra smiled then, she knew this was over, she didn't have to be scared anymore, "I'm not useless. Hordak trusts me, I'm not afraid anymore."

"Yes, you are it's all you have ever been. Afraid and dumb. No matter how much I tried it never had an effect."

"Oh, that's where you're so wrong. You made me ready for this, you made me strong."

"Ready for what? To try and be sassy?"

"To get the fuck out of here." Catra pulled her bag on her shoulder and walked towards the door, "Let me out."

"You can't talk to me like that." Shadow Weaver bellowed her first swinging. Catra dogged it and dogged a few more.

"See you did make me. I can take the pain, I can hurt people, I have more ambition and skill then you ever saw. You were to busy expecting me to stay scared and under your thumb. But I am not, and I never will be again."

Catra lunged forward knocking the air from Shadow Weaver lungs. She fell over and Catra kicked her head to keep her down and then leapt over her sprawled out body.

"Thanks for all you did. You fucked me up just enough. I will survive and one day everyone will listen to me. Nobody will control me again." Catra yelled.

She slammed the door and ran until she hit Scorpia's door. She let out a long breath steadying herself and knocked.


	14. Broken Promises, Part II: Adora

CW: Past child abuse, canon typical violence, internalised victim blaming

Adora stood still staring at the place Catra used to be her ears ringing and the world spun as her legs gave out under her. She ended up on the ground her legs folded painful under her. Everything blurred as her heart felt like it was sinking to the ground.

"Adora?" Glimmer said hesitantly, "You, ah, You okay?"

"Honestly? No, I'm not okay at all" Adora admitted her voice shakey

"That's okay." Bow comforted, "To not be okay I mean. You don't always have to be okay."

"yes, I do," Adora tried to object but it came out desperate.

Her friends sat next to her on the hard gravel with confused looks. Adora started to laugh It was all so fucked and somehow that was really funny. Laughter devolved into sobs all of her feeling rushing through her so with painful force. She dropped her face into her hands.

Adora looked up when two warm bodies hit her wrapping their arms around her. A long moment of warmth brought Adora back into the moment. She was grounded here, they were here. They pulled away after a moment.

"I think you probably have some questions," Adora sighed.

"Well yeah." Bow said, "But if you're not up for it."

"If you don't ask me now, I might not ever tell you," Adora muttered.

"Okay, What Catra said about Shadow Weaver. Is that true, does she, ya know abuse, you guys?" Glimmer asked.

Adora stared at her for a long moment. That was the first question? Not about the drugs or the police? Adora sucked in a breath, "Yes I mean I think so? She hits Catra and shoves her into things a lot. She pushed us to work with Hordak."

Looking up at the sunshine too bright for January, Adora wished it was grey and cloudy. It would better match how she felt. When neither of her friends interjected Adora continued, "She always told me I had to be perfect, I have to be or she would hurt the other girls, usually Catra. I have to do everything right or she won't love me anymore. And when things went bad she always made me clean it up, I had to clean it up. If I'm not perfect then I won't be worth anything. I have to make sure everyone had food, and patch up the wounds and once after Shadow Weaver learned Catra was gay I took her to the hospital she was bleeding and had a really bad concussion. She needed an antibiotic and some nausea meds. And I didn't have the money so I went to get the money Hordak owed me for what I'd sold that week, but the guard wouldn't give it to me, but Catra wasn't going to be okay if I didn't get it. They wouldn't listen and she was even with me all curled up and hurt. So I stabbed him, and well I got the money. That's why I was arrested. He didn't die, and they never actually charged me. I'm not stupid enough to like get caught. I did that perfectly too, but I don't want to do those things. I want to be good I want to do it right. I have to keep everyone safe and I have to be perfect you understand? "

Glimmer and Bow both looked shocked and confused.

"Adora" Bow gasped tears streaming from his eyes.

"Can I beat her up?" Glimmer asked anger flashing across her face, "I think I should beat her up."

"You don't think I'm bad, or lying, or broken or something?" Adora mumbled feeling winded and confused.

"Adora of course not, someone treating you like that isn't your fault. I believe you." Bow hugged her again, Adora laid her head on his shoulder.

"I mean I'm not happy you shanked somebody, but you saved your best friend. I can't say I'd never hurt someone to save you guys." Glimmer said

"I didn't shank him, it was a real knife," Adora said feeling a bit offended.

Glimmer smiled slightly amused, Adora was glad she could still smile at her. Bow let her go patting her shoulder gently.

"What...What happens now?" Adora asked to no one. However, Glimmer seemed to have a plan.

"I tell my mom. She won't leave you with an abusive person like that. And my mother likes to get her way. And I won't let her stop pushing. Me, my mom, Bow and anyone else who can we're going to help you. And your other foster sisters. I swear, I'm not going to leave you alone."

Looking up at Glimmer's earnest and determined face Adora nodded she wanted to believe that.

Bow drove them to the Moon corporation building Glimmer held Adora's hand the whole time. Glimmer and Bow had both shrugged off their jackets and Adora knew it was because the heat was up so high but they were leaving it there because she was still shivering, A combination of her jacket being worn out so the harsh wind was colder for her, but also part of it was in her head. All those feelings left her in a cold sweat. Adora was amused how even when the guards at the office building tried to stop them Glimmer just glared at them and well then the three of them passed right by. Glimmer didn't even stop at the secretary's desk she marched straight into Ms Moon's office.

"Glimmer?!" Ms Moon said looking up from her computer, "What are you doing here?"

"We need your help." Glimmer stated.

"And you think you can just run in here?"Ms Moon chided.

Adora's head started to spin her heart beating too fast. She couldn't do more violence right now, couldn't handle yelling. The intense need to vomit, scream or pass out washed over her. Could they just fight like a little bit later? Her whole body tilted before she hit the ground Bow manoeuvred her to a plush chair.

"What do you need?" Ms Moon asked her tone soft and was that worried? Adora figured she must look like hell warmed over for Ms Moon to sound like that

"Adora's foster mother, well, she abuses Adora and the other kids." Glimmer explained.

"ahh" Ms Moon sighed, "That's what I feared."

"You know that and you did nothing?" Glimmer shouted.

"Of course not Glimmer. I've been putting in the paperwork to be a foster parent myself and find a way to help. But I never had any proof. Yes, Adora's behaviour was deeply concerning but sending someone over there with no evidence would likely make Ms Weaver angry and hurt the kids more. And nothing else would change." Ms Moon responded.

"She's right." Adora cut in, "People have said things before but by the time the social workers got there it was all cleaned up and everyone had their lies to say. I even told people things sometimes when I was younger but I never followed through. and most of the times I was too scared, and then things would be worse. It always got worse. "

Ms Moon nodded she got up and walked over kneeling in front of Adora. Taking Adora's hands in hers Ms Moon made direct eye contact. The light blue almost white eyes were piercing but with warmth and life instead of knives and ice.

"I am sorry for making you feel so unwelcome before. I won't let her hurt you anymore, I should have offered before, but I was sure you'd deny it," Ms Moon Apoligsed.

"I probably would have, I mean I don't even know what's wrong? I'm scared and confused so I just lie about it. And I probably deserve it anyway." Adora deflect.

"Adora! Look at me, you did not deserve it." Ms Moon said with a stern clarity.

Adora felt confused staring at Ms Moon who continued to hold her gaze steady and strong. The pressure on her hands and legs grounded her. Ms Moon was her tether to this world.

"I'm going to have to ask something hard of you, and I'm sorry to have to ask it. Will you talk to social services and the police. It will help a lot if you do."

"Yes, yes." Adora nodded, she wanted to be done with it all. She wanted to move one from the darkness.

"Good. You can stay with us tonight. And as many days after as you would like."

"We have to get Lily out too. And if Catra is still there, but I don't think she is."

"Where is she?" Ms Moon asked as she seemed to spin into action taking notes and typing things

"I think she ran away. That's why we're fighting, what pushed me to tell you guys. We always had a plan when we were sixteen to leave and get emancipated so we could run away just the two of us. But I didn't leave with her so she's mad."

"All right. If she is there We'll get her out of course, and if not well that's for the social workers to work out for now."

"Okay."Adora nodded.

Gimmer hugged her again, "Like I said, we're going to help you. You'll be safe."

Adora leaned her head on Glimmer's. It wasn't desperate or even afraid. It was just warm, and comforting. Not fighting for something kind, just kind. Adora was sure later she would be wracked with Anxiety. But for now, she wasn't scared, she felt brave.


	15. Shifting Earth, Part I: Adora

Adora talked to a social worker, named Ms Ra going through as many of the details about life with Shadow Weaver as she could. The first few minutes had been hard but then it was like her emotions went dead. She was forced to relay things she hadn't even thought of for so long and answered questions she had tried to not think about. Adora described shadow weavers manipulation, derision, control and insults. The visuals of fists and hospitals and blood flowed across her eyes, her eas rang with Catra's screams, she could smell alcohol and feel hunger.

"Okay, Adora we're done for now." The social worker said with a nod looking at her notes.

"Oh Alright," Adora mumbled.

"Do you know of any way we can get Lily out before we send in CPS to talk to Ms Weaver?"

"Oh um she'll be coming home from the community centre. She goes there a lot on weekends"

"Okay well, we can get her then."

"Wait. She won't go with you. She's young but she lives in Horde country you think she'll get in some random women's van?"

"Do you want to meet her?"

"Yeah... She'll come with me."

"All right. It will probably be best, you can help explain things to her."

"Right" Adora nodded.

Adora stood a block away from her home, or her old home. It was home, even after everything, and that was kind of disturbing, to say the least. It was the only thing close to home she ever had. Finally, she saw Lilly and Adora took a long breath and walked over.

"Hey, Lily," Adora called.

"Adora! Shadow Weaver is mad." Lily said in a low voice, "Catra ran away and she's just been yelling a lot and drinking."

"Yeah I know" Adora kneeled down, "But we aren't going back there today."

"Huh?

"We're going to talk to Ms Ra for a bit, and then we're going to stay with my friend Glimmer."

"We are?"

"Mhmm. Ms Ra and Ms Moon know that Shadow Weaver has been hurting us. They want to try and help us not have to be hurt anymore."

"Catra too?"

"Yeah hopefully," Adora said, a lie probably but a kind one.

"Okay." Lilly took Adora's had and they climbed into the car.

"Hey Lily, I'm Ms Ra. I'm going to try and help you to be safe okay?" Ms Ra said with a sweet voice just this side of grating.

Lily nodded and climbed into Adora's lap. Adora stiffened for a second then wrapped her arms around the younger girl. Adora realised that Lily was a lot like she had been. Adora had been shipped around so much as a little kid and this was just more of that for Lily right now. Hopefully, if this all worked, they wouldn't have to be shipped around ever again.

Ms Ra talked to them again with a police officer it was rough to hear Lily go through all the suffering she had seen and had been done to her when Adora didn't see. Adora vowed then she wouldn't let her down again, she wouldn't let her be like Catra, some she messed up with, someone who chooses the violence.

"Hey, so the two of you are going to go stay with Ms Moon. I and some of my colleagues are doing to go see Ms Weaver and the police will talk to her too. I'm going to get some of your stuff too. Anything you want to me make sure I get for you?"

" Robby. My stuffed puppy dog." Lily whispered into Adora's ear.

" What about fluffington?" Adora asked.

"He's in my backpack,"

"She wants her stuffed dog," Adora said to Ms Ra who smiled and nodded.

Ms Moon was waiting outside guiding the two girls to her car. Lily fell asleep half on half off Adora on the drive to the house. Adora laid her head on the cool windows. She wanted to sleep but the anxious lump in her throat kept her from sleep. But Lily's warm body kept her from going to full freak out. It was something grounding, and it gave her a mission, protect Lily. When they got to the house Adora shifted Lily to her back the girls breathing softly even in her ear. When they got inside they saw Bow and Glimmer asleep on the couch clearly waiting for them to get home. The TV was droning some inane sitcom. Somehow the house seemed radically different now. It wasn't this magic place that belongs to Glimmer. It became the place she had to run to because she didn't have anywhere else to run to. It was this or the street.

Glimmer and Bow woke up with the sounds of the main doors closing.

"You're here!' Glimmer shouted walking over to them.

Lily stirred on Adora's back.

"Where am I?' Lily asked blearily.

"This is Ms Moon's house. Remember? She picked us from the police station.

"She's our new guardian," Lily muttered.

"Exactly," Adora confirmed.

They went to the guest room to see a second bed had been moved there clearly meant for Lily.

"After you're a bit more settled, we should redecorate." Bow said.

"Mhm." Adora hummed in response. She placed Lily on the bed pulling the bedraggled rabbit from her backpack and placed in her hands.

"I need some sleep," Adora said.

"Right. See you tomorrow" Glimmer said apprehensively.

Adora did not sleep until Lily climbed in bed with her.

"Nightmares?" Adora whispered.

"Yeah. and this place is scary." Lily said.

Adora hugged her tight. So much like any night with Catra or Lily had always been. But everything else was monumentally different.

The next Morning Ms Ra was talking quietly to Ms Moon. Adora felt sick at the sights of two large brown paper bags with her and Lily's names scrawled across the front. Those deep memories of her first almost six years flooding back. Lily herself leaned against Aora's thigh.

The adults didn't notice of them, too immersed in their own conversation. They were able to Arrest Ms Weaver, it could all go to trial. They discussed the likelihood of charged for child neglect, abuse, endangerment. Sealed records could be opened, they could get medical records too if need be. They also were looking for Catra, hoping she would testify, the likelihood of trying to get Lily to talk on the stand. They didn't notice the girls till Glimmer came up behind them and said aloud good morning. All of the four original occupants of the dining room jumped.

"Geeze, uh sorry." Glimmer mumbled.

"It's alright." Ms Ra said."I have some of your things over here" She nodded to the bags.

Adora took hers it was mostly just clothes and the cracked photo of her and Catra that used to sit on their bedside table. She choked back anger and sadness stuffing in under the was able to pull out her toy, content for a moment.

"Adora we need you to ask you something."

"Yeah, I'll testify, speak more the police whatever you need," Adora answered. The adults glanced at each other then turned to stare at Adora. Adora crossed her arms across her chest feeling, awkward and deeply vulnerable.

"If your willing to do so it will go a long way." Ms Ra nodded.

"You said you think if we talk we have a good chance of getting somewhere right? So we never have to go back and she can't hurt more kids?"Adora asked

"I do think so yes. Your stories along with the fact the place was not nearly in a state that's safe for someone Lily's age. School records, previous complaints that will be helpful too. We'll probably talk to your school counsellor too. I know that's a lot but I do think we have a good chance. The charges I think will stick, and your sympathetic victims' juries will like you."

Lily turned to Adora looking a bit confused, "Charges, police, they're putting her in jail?"

"Yes, that's what we want. Then she can't hurt more people" Ms Ra said.

She slid on the ground next to Lily. Adora bet she was trying to not to intimidated "I know that sounds scary but we want to do our best to keep everyone safe."

"Bad guys go to court and then go to jail" Like wondered still looking at Adora.

"Right. It's a little more complicated. We have to talk to lots of people and fill out forms. The trail won't be for a little while getting through paperwork and waiting for an open time so we can use a room might take a long time."

"What happens to me?" Lily said pulling Adora by her pants so she was sitting on the ground.

"Well, for right now you're staying here. It's pretty safe and they are nice people. I've told you how nice Glimmer and Bow are remember?" Adora said.

All Lily did was nod.

"You are both welcome to stay here as long as your desire. I'm not going to make you leave." Ms Moon said.

"It' be great. Like being roomies." Glimmer said smiling.

"Do I have to talk to be safe?" Lily asked again directing the comment only to Adora. Looking back at Ms Ra Adora faltered, unsure what to say.

Ms a shook her head.

"You don't have to but it helps them do it," Adora explained running her hand throw the youngers girls head.

"I can if it means she can't hurt you and catra anymore." Lilly leaned into Adora.

The next days were blurry Adora didn't know how to piece together the extreme circumstances they were in, to the mundane business of getting herself and then Lily ready for school, school itself, soccer practice, Glimmer and Bow bickering about random things, getting lily a snack, homework, getting ready for bed, try and get through the night without nightmares, repeat. But of course, nothing was normal. They talked to Ms Ra quite a bit getting details when she needed them, getting reassurances and updates on the case. It was these small moments that reinforced that this was something different from all they had done before.

The bright moon people's reactions to her and Lily when they fell back into what they knew reminded her she was nothing like them. Lily wouldn't talk to anyone but Adora and sometimes Ms Ra after direct questions, everyone found that odd. When Lily did want attention she would run into things and break them, take shoes and stuff like that. Adora knew Lily had never gotten attention from most people with her words, but acting out did get that attention. Catra had been a lot like that growing up, a perfect foil to her own behaviour Adora thought grimly. But it was nothing to be helped, she would just have to protect her and help her anyway.

Adora's over self-reliance seemed to genuinely annoy the cooks. And she would say things she thought were normal and get these weird looks. But she was trying to do everything right, she was, it just never seemed to work.

One such day Adora and Lily were in their room. Lily was sobbing and waving her arms around. She had gotten her backpack stolen at school, then got thrown in the dirt for freaking out, then she'd had to go into time out. She was almost six but had no idea how to verbalize or control her emotions, more so then the others her age. So when they'd taken her backpack she couldn't say it's the only one we have, and it used to be Adora's. She couldn't explain her bunny, her one possession that was really hers, would get ruined if it was too wet. So instead had a panic attack and shut down till she got home, where she fell apar all over again.

"Hey lily please calm down you're getting really loud. See the bunny is fine." Adora calmed gesturing the bunny they had laid under the fan. He hadn't been really wet or muddy, but she understood it was the principle of the thing. The hysterical noises had subsided and Lily switched to violently rocking back and forth. Thankfully having followed Adora's instinct to calm down.

"I know the papers are wet but I can write you a letter, so you don't get in trouble. And the backpack was old anyway it was already pretty brown, it will still work."

Lily uncurled and flung herself into Adora smearing snot and tears across Adora's shirt. Adora ran circles on her back till she caught her breath.

"You really help gonna me not get in trouble." She asked with a hiccup.

"Course I will, don't tell anyone but I am decent at signature forging." Adora half-joked.

Lily smiled her face red from emotions eyes purple and puffy.

"I'm on your side okay? I know I've been gone a lot, but I won't do that anymore."

"Really?"

"Yup. I'm going to be here, even when it sucks."

Lily nodded stronger.

"You want some ice cream?'

"Yes yes yes!"

Adora swung the younger girl on her back. Knowing how exhausted crying like that made you. They got to the kitchen and saw Bow and Glimmer getting a snack.

"Where you been?" Glimmer asked, "you shot off right after school?"

Lily hide her face.

"Ahh, I knew Lily wouldn't want to ride the bus alone."

"The bus?"

"Well yeah." Adora shrugged.

"Who lets a kindergartner pay for a bus ticket."

"Don't ask questions, a fee is a fee"

Glimmer and Bow shared a confused look. A moment of awkward silence permeated through the room.

"Ice cream?" Lily said softly.

"Oh yeah, I promised her ice cream. Can we have some?" Adora said shifting Lily's weight on her back.

"Course you can!" Bow said.

"What's your favourite flavour, Lily." Glimmer asked with a smile.

Lily just stared at them.

"Strawberry" Adora answered.

The next day Adora walked in to see Ms Moon waiting for her.

"Adora we need to discuss some things."

"What things," Adora said cautiously.

"Yeah what?" Glimmer said, backing Adora up in a way that made Adora be momentarily distracted by Glimmer's cute determined face.

"It's about Lily" Ms Moon explained.

"Oh," Adora said, a hundred horrible scenarios flashed through her mind as she followed Ms Moon to the living room.

"Did you forge my signature?" She said.

Right to the point, Adora thought. "Yes."

"Why?"

"The kids already treated her like shit, getting the teacher rag on her too didn't seem fair."

"Why would either of you just tell me you needed help."

"I didn't need help." Adora countered.

"Clearly you did. I got a phone call asking me to come this Friday to address bullying. And thanking me for already being involved on a personal level with a difficult case."

Adora snorted, "Because labelling a kid at kindergarten is great for their self-esteem."

"I'm inclined to agree, but what is more upsetting is that neither of you told me what was wrong. You chose to lie."

"What was I supposed to do. I did what I needed too, I need to try and be better at keeping people safe. I have to do this, and I am. I know I haven't gotten her to be more verbal but I'm handling it. I patched her up, I take care of her best I can. Like I should have been. You don't have to worry about her, she won't bother you and if you don't go to the appointment they will eventually let off. Lily won't be a problem for you. "

"Adora." Ms Moon said cutting off her ramblings

She glanced up biting her lip.

"Lily is adjusting fine you don't have to in charge of her, she isn't your responsibility. "

"I'll do better, I can do better," Adora insisted, "Don't get mad at her.

"Listen, you don't have to lie or do it on your own. I know Bow and Glimmer want to help you if things like bullying happen, or either of you is injured you can come to me. That's what I'm here for."

"But I know how," Adora replied she stared at ms Moon. It was baffling he was saying this, of course, she had to do it. It was her job, she had to protect people, she couldn't fail them, she had to keep an eye on Lilly. Keep her out of trouble, that's how things went.

"You might know how. Like you might know how to get both of you ready for school fifteen minutes before had, I know you can do first aid, I mean you know concussion protocol. I know you can be self-sufficient, I know you will move hell and high water to do everything right, but you don't have too. The cooks can make breakfast, you don't have to get up at four am, you don't have to keep injuries secret. You don't need to hide food and weapons in your room. If Lily has a nightmare you can come to me, whenever you need. I want to go to the appointments and worry about you."

Adora just felt stunned. And confused, what was she even talking about.

"You're a kid Adora. You have plenty of time to have to learn responsibility, and you can always ask for help. I can tell your struggling, everyone can. Bow and Glimmer might come off a bit obvious but they can tell too."

"I can be more discrete. I told Lily to cry quieter, I don't mean to disrupt you guys." Adora said. She was annoying everyone, she couldn't handle it. She never did it right, Catra said so and Shadow Weaver always found something wrong, it wasn't good Adora wanted her to love her.

"That's not the point Adora. What I need from you, tell me when she is crying. All three of us can work out a plan."

"She won't talk to you," Adora replied with a sigh.

"We'll work up to that. But just practice asking for help okay? I swear to you everyone here will do their best. And no more forging of signatures. You don't have to be alone, or perfect."

Adora's mouth opened and then closed. So she just nodded mutely. Bow and Glimmer swooped her up right after that and she lost herself in the world of bad sitcoms and math homework.


	16. Shifting Earth, Part II: Glimmer

Glimmer was finding that Adora was closer than ever by distance but father away in all the ways that mattered. Somehow getting her away from what hurt her was making her even more unhappy. Some of it was clear and very understandable. The anxiety over leaving her home, all the change and feeling responsible for Lily. Which Glimmer supposed she got, especially with Lily. The little girl was super cute and celery trusted Adora over everyone else, but it still sucked that she got most of Adora's free time.

Adora also seemed more on edge, jumping even more than before, more obsessive, distracted and nervous. Glimmer wanted to do something to make her friend feel better, something so they could see her smile more. Not look so, so, so something she couldn't place but it looked like it hurt.

Glimmer had also been a bit distracted by thoughts of her father recently. He had been killed after getting jumped by people who worked for Hordak. It was a long time ago but Glimmer still remembered it vividly. As she got older she referred to it as her "Batman" moment. It was early similar. To dudes had cut the car off on the road. Her dad had gotten out to try and see what happened, yelling broke out, then a beat tense of silence, then her mom screamed, a large thud marker her father hitting the car, dead. She didn't remember much after that she'd been little and it was all so hectic. The memory would always hurt, but it didn't as much as it once had. She'd been surrounded by people who cared, even when she and her mom thought she knew she loved her. Sometimes it felt like her mother wasn't proud of her, but they'd been closer lately and she'd been more affectionate. Insecurity still reigned sometimes but less often. Glimmer didn't know what would have happened if she'd seen that and then lived with someone like Shadow Weaver. It would have broken her, she deeply hoped they could help keep Adora together.

After school she was curled on the couch going over her trig homework she felt her foot being poked. Glimmer shot up to see Lily at the foot of the couch.  
"Oh ah hello," Glimmer said.  
"Can I sit with you?" Lily asked looking everywhere but Glimmer's face.  
"Course." Glimmer nodded sliding her feet so the younger girl could sit. She had her bunny locked in her arms like usual looked so little and vulnerable. She was small even for kindergarten, her black hair was usually in some kind of pigtail like things or held back with a headband. She was healthier looking now, her deep brown skins no longer had a grey tint to it and her eyes no longer constantly slightly cloudy. Glimmer stared for a second then put her head back in her book.

A few minutes later Glimmer was startled out of an annoying problem.  
"Why don't you and Adora sleep together?" Lily asked.  
"Wait, what!?" Glimmer said sitting up. Why would she assume they would be? Like yeah it was obvious she had a crush on Adora but still, they weren't having sex or even dating.  
"Catra and Adora slept together, always. You haven't. Don't you love Adora?" Lilly said, clearly thinking Glimmer was the one missing the obvious.  
"Well, I mean..." Glimmer stuttered unsure what to say, also wondering if Adora had lied about Catra, "we're not dating or anything."  
"I know that." Lily scrunched her nose, "but you aren't there for Adora when she's scared. Catra was. And both of them were there when I got scared. You can't keep Adora safe from far away, or be warm"  
Glimmer thought for a moment and realised she meant literally sleeping in the same bed. So that was cleared up.  
"Well," Glimmer thought, "You see I care about Adora, but that's not how I choose to show that."  
"Oh." Lily said, " but you would protect her?"  
"Yes, of course, I would" Glimmer confirmed.  
"Okay," Lilly said as she promptly slid off the couch and left.  
Glimmer watched her go, that was one of the weirdest conversations he'd had. And she'd made plans to light a boat on fire with Sea Hawk.

A little while later Adora came in the door dragging her soccer bag behind her dirt on her jersey and looking like the most beautiful thing ever grass-stained socks and all.  
"What ?" Adora said smiling walking over to Glimmer.  
"What do you mean what?' Gimmer asked.  
"You're staring at me."  
"Am not!" Glimmer defended but she felt her cheeks flush as she said it.  
Adora just laughed. Glimmer tossed a blanket on the couch so Adora could sit without getting mud on the upholstery.  
"Good practice?" Glimmer asked.  
"April showers." Adora shrugged.  
"Ah. See that's why I door sports inside, no rain or mud."  
"Also no sliding in the mud, a treasured pastime."  
"Sure." Glimmer rolled her eyes. She took a beat, breath, then asked, "Did you have a thing with Catra?"  
"What do you mean?" Adora said stopping midway untying her sneaker.  
"Lily told me you guys slept together, like in the same bed." Glimmer explained lamely.  
"We did," Adora said, the change of tone in her was palpable for Glimmer.  
The sullen tone was biting even more so because she caused it.  
"But it wasn't romantic, we started doing it in elementary school. We never had to be alone when we were together. Someone was right there, to bring us back to reality. It was home in a house that...that wasn't"  
"Okay." Glimmer said.  
"Yeah. I've not lied to you. Catra and I weren't dating, I guess I have no idea what we were, but we're nothing now." Adora said sucking in a long breath, "I'm going to get a snack."  
"Right." Glimmer replied.

A few days passed and Glimmer was pouring herself cereal at 1 am because, well because she could. The only other people in the house were her mom and Lily. everyone else was somewhere else, including Adora who had a travel match for soccer and wouldn't be back till the next day. Cereal at 1 AM looking out the windows was also just a really enjoyable experience. Lucky Charms taste much better when you weren't rushing out of the house and that's just a fact. Glimmer walked back to her room casually eating but as she walked she heard a small sniffing from Adora/Lily's room. She pushed the door open to see Lily curled up rocking on the bed.

Glimmer swallowed and walked in. She set the bowl on the dresser and went over the Lily.  
"Hey, Lily It's Glimmer," She said softly.  
Lilly peeked her head up," Sorry."  
"Why are you sorry?" Glimmer said.  
"Waking you up."  
"Ah. Well, you don't need to be sorry. Nightmares happen, you can always wake me up if Adora isn't here."  
"You're not upset?"  
"Nah" Glimmer sais shaking her head giving Lily what she hoped was a reassuring smile.  
"Will you stay with me?"  
"Course I will." Glimmer nodded, she glanced at her cereal she could leave it and toss it when they woke up. Or she could bring it over here, she was sure Lily wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon. "Let me get my cereal."  
"In the middle of the night?" Lily asked as Glimmer brought it.  
"Oh yeah. 1 am is the best time to eat lucky charms."  
"It is?"  
"For sure."  
Glimmer sat against the headboard. Lily leaned her head next to her and they sat for a long time. Glimmer put the Bowl down after she'd finished and when she leaned back Lily shifted to curling up on her lap. Lily's slow breathing was calming. Glimmer ran her hand on the younger girls back. Her heartbeat even and the flight shifting lacked any stiffness. A tired smile crossed her lips and she closed her eyes.

They both woke up when Adora came in the door, she looked confused but then smiled.  
"Glimmer helped me with might nightmare," Lily explained as she jumped and gave Adora a hug.  
"She did that's so nice."  
"She also eats Lucky Charms in the middle of the night."  
"That's cool?" Adora said glancing up at Glimmer who grinned and shrugged,  
"I have to go the bathroom," Lilly said and ran off.

Glimmer fidgeted looking at Adora who seemed to be thinking really hard. But then everything happened really fast Adora ran over to her and before she could think they were kissing. It was the most amazing feeling. Then it was over and Adora looked just as shocked at what had happened as Glimmer did.

"Ah sorry," Adora said.  
"No!" Glimmer shouted, "don't be sorry."  
"I should have, asked, and I don't know if..."  
"Well, you can ask next time." Glimmer said her heart skipping a beat and her stomach flipped at the idea of a next time.  
"Next time?" Adora asked.  
"Well yeah. I've been crushing on you for like ever, and if you like me too. I think we should do more kissing."  
"I do like you. I couldn't even really think about it you know? Before, and I've been a bit overwhelmed and feeling I don't off. But now, I mean everything you're doing, and being so nice to Lily. and being so weird and wonderful that you eat lucky charms 1 AM. It's amazing you're amazing."  
"I think you're amazing too Adora. Brave, strong, so cute, determined, protective, funny and really pretty." Glimmer said, "you've been through so much, and here you are."  
"Can I kiss you?" Adora said leaning forward. Glimmer nodded and Adora's lips met hers as mid-smile.

They had a great morning eating pastries for breakfast and watching cartoons. Adora looked happy and they held hands the whole time. Lily, it turns out could be talkative around just them. Then Ms Ra showed up to let them know they had a court date. Glimmer watched that conversation from the sidelines. But watching it she discovered what the look was Adora got that pained her. It was haunted, Adora looked haunted.


	17. Like A Battlefield, Part I: Adora

Turns out court trials are exhausting. Watching parades of people discuss their lives and plan their future.

Watching everyone testify went slow and fast all at once. Adora's school psychiatrist went through her appraisal of Adora and her fear of reporting Adora without proof. Apretenly Adora presented as someone with PTSD and other abuse signs. Referencing her paranoia, her hypervigilance, her lack of self-care under stress, the assumption of calling CPS, hiding injuries, panic attacks and flashbacks others had watched. Next, the social worker was called to the stand she shared the records of previous reports of abuse, Adora and Lily's experiences, the failures that sometimes happen in the system, and school records. A police officer talked about connections with Hordak. It was so dizzying.

Eventually, Adora was called to the stand, It felt like she was in a war zone, everything felt like a threat, even Glimmer's good luck kiss couldn't break the hold of paranoia. It started with her lawyer asking questions having Adora repeat her whole story for what now felt like the thousandth time. Then the cross-examiner had a chance to talk to her, he was a sleazy looking dude who made her hair stand on end.

"Why did you share all of this information now. Why did you not come forward sooner? You told us all that the abuse has been constant for the most part since you were in first grade. Forced alcohol consumption, and physical battering of your fellow foster children. But you only tell these stories now? "

"I did try. They showed you. It's not my fault no one did anything."

"I know we saw that reports were filed. But now we know a social worker did step in when you told this extreme version of the story or you would not be here. Why did you not share this degree of information before?"

"I don't know. I wanted it to stop, and people saw something was wrong. But eventually, I had to just get used to it, I was never going to get out." Adora explained feeling upset by the accusation. She'd known it was coming, but being told she was lying was her worst fear realised.

"If it was as horrific as you say, how could get used to it?"

"Because I was told we deserved it. If I wasn't perfect then I didn't deserve love, and if I couldn't keep the others under control they got hurt. And when they got beat it was their fault, the had to deserve they were bad. I believed her." Adora said quietly slumping in her chair.

"I understand you have been arrested and got off on technicalities."

"Yes."

"I think that if we look at that in combination with your past acting out, suspected drugs use, skipping classes and this recent bidding for a scholarship. We can see you clearly want attention. It makes sense someone in your situation as a foster kid would want more attention from adults. You can tell us if this is a cry for attention."

"I'm not. I don't want this attention."

"None of you're acting out or truancy was just acting out for attention?"

"I do what I do to survive. I had to care for Catra. I told you earlier it was my job when Ms Weaver wouldn't protect us if I didn't break rules she would have died of an infection. If I don't skip school to care for her she could get hurt when concussed. And it wasn't my idea to apply for Greyskull." Adora said forcefully leaning forward in her chair. How dare they assume she did this for shits and giggles.

"Many of your claims include abuse against your foster sibling Catra. But I don't see her here advocating for herself. Does she share your view, if she did would she not be here?"

"I don't know. Maybe she doesn't want to come here and be told the worst moments of her life are a lie." Adora's shouted. She bit back tears, god why were they bringing up Catra. The whole time she'd been cold kept emotion to a minimum, but now it spilt over.

The lawyer faltered, even someone so soulless couldn't deal with her on the verge of a breakdown. "No further questions." He said.

Adora walked to the bench. Her knees banged into the bench and she collapsed around her. The rooms was loud and fear gnawed at her, anger and despair weighing her to spot. All she could do was hug her arms to herself willing to calm down. Her lawyers glanced at the terrified Adora and Lily who had gone still eyes closed over. The lawyer sighed.

"Your Honour. I move for a recess, my clients need some time together themselves before we proceed."

"Recess granted, this court will adjourn till ten o'clock tomorrow"

They were debriefed a bit, Adora couldn't focus. She ate an early dinner with Ms Moon and the others and still couldn't focus the inane talk of grades and television worthless to her. She hid in her room for a while trying to stop thinking about Catra. But she couldn't, there was no use going insane tied in her comforter. She snuck out of the house with practised ease, her wallet for money, a coat for the cold, cell phone and didn't put on her shoes till outside. Then she ran and ran as fast as she could. Adora came to at a bus stop, not her normal one but fuck it. She rode to her city and went to Mara's diner. She wavered standing there at the door. Watching everything inside with a tense feeling.

Adora jumped when a hand hit her shoulder.

"Adora long time no see." Lookie said with a calm smile, "you look like you need a pick me up. Come inside."

Adora didn't move, unsure what to do if she saw Catra.

"She isn't here," Lookie said softly guiding Adora inside.

Mara was bustling around. But managed to toss Adora a ham sandwich and give her coffee as she cooked. Adora sat there for what felt like forever before Mara sat across from her.

"We saw, and heard, you girls fight." She said as she drank coffee.

"I'm sorry, it was..."

"We're no stranger to broken relationships or trauma in this family. Why do you think we were willing to pay Catra under the table at the start? I can't pretend I haven't wondered if don't ask, don't tell was the best method to handle things, but can't be helped now."

"We, me and Lily, we took her to court. If we win, she can't ever hurt us again."

"I'm glad."

"They tied to say I was lying for attention. If it was real abuse we would have done something before."

Mara huffed, "bastards."

Adora sighed picking at her bread, "I wish they had gotten Catra to testify. They brought her up, saying my descriptions about Catra are suspect because she isn't there."

"I don't think she knows." Mara said, "she's been debating checking on Lily."

Adora looked up, "really?"

"Yeah. Not sure social services could have found her anyway, she's staying with a friend."

"Oh. "

Mara scribbled across a piece of paper an address sliding it to Adora with a sad smile, "talk to her."

Adora nodded curtly as got up and left. Once at the house, she breathed deeply and knocked.

"What!" Catra shouted opening the door.

"Catra," Adora said

"Hey, Adora," Catra said leaning against the door frame.

"Shadow Weaver got arrested."

"Cool," Catra said visibly tensing

"I had to testify in court. It was...hard. But I was wondering if you could too. They can also enter your medical records into evidence. We can put her away."

Catra flung herself forward wrapping Adora in her arms. For that fleeting moment, there was a reprieve in the hail of bullets. But Catra quickly let go stumbling backwards into the room. And the bombardment started up again.


	18. Like a Battlefield, Part II: Catra

Life had become surprisingly boring after leaving Shadow Weaver. She was staying with Scorpia, in what used to be her parents' house but they had fucked off to who knows where giving Scorpia the place. It had been the first time Catra thought she had really seen her look sad, which wanted Catra to go hit those abandoning emotionally neglectful fuckers. Catra hadn't done or said anything though, everything locked up and just watched it happen. At least she didn't leave Scorpia along, she did her best to be a good friend.

Entrapta spent most of her time with them, her robots slowly migrating to what used to be Scorpia's parents' room and was now essentially a workshop. The place was slightly messy as none of the girls gave a fuck what the place looked like. Catra was able to keep their makeshift alliance in food and wifi so for the most part and keep Entrapta and Scorpia mostly out of her work.

Catra slept in the living room, on the ouch, this was after Scorpia had offered her an actual bed. That had been shit and was no logged in her brain due to the embarrassment. It was only a few days into her staying there;

"Catra you know if you're going to be staying here for a long time. You ought to have your own bed."

"What?" Catra said looking up from a laptop.

"Well, I thought you might not want to sleep on the couch anymore."

"Oh. That's nice, thanks" Catra said giving Scorpia an appreciative nod

Scorpia's face broke out into a bright smile. Which much to Catra's annoyance made her almost smile. Scorpia could be tiring but it was also hard to actually ever be mad at her. Being the one who put sadness on her face made her feel like a giant jerk. A mattress had been set up in Scorpia's room with a pillow and blankets. Catra said thanks and curled on the bed.

Only second after she closed her eyes panic ran through her causing her to sit bolt upright. Every time she would fend off fear and guilt would wash over her. She couldn't shake the thought of Adora holding each other, protecting each other, and then hurting each other. If it wasn't that it was Shadow Weaver waking her up with a slap on the face. Somehow Scorpia's breathing made it worse than better, she was with someone but not someone who gave her comfort.

Catra always had a weapon with her, and she no longer slept in just a long shirt, and none of it got rid of the fear. But this was worse like the bed and pillow were personally trying to drown her the coffee and wine stains off the white cloth. She had been extra tired the next day, running on coffee and stress. After another night she had gone back to the couch.

"Aren't you coming to bed?" Scorpia asked as she brushed her teeth.

"Nah. The couch is better." Catra shrugged.

"Are you sure? This is your home too now.'

Catra felt herself wince at the idea of this being home. Home? What was that anymore, "yeah positive."

"Is something wrong with the mattress cause..."

"It makes me think about bad shit alright?"

"Sure okay." Scorpia had responded with a confused expression.

Besides weird shit like that, it had been boring. Working for Hordak and crashing on the couch was better than school and crashing into Shadow Weaver's fists. She still worked for Mara too though, she liked the people. They had slipped easily into giving her shifts during the day after she admitted to dropping out of high school. No questions were asked, probably should have been but whatever. She had secured a life now, Hordak was slowly giving more control, she had a place to sleep, food, money, weapons. It was in her control, even if her anger, fear, guilt and confusion kept trying to drown her, she wouldn't let them.

Of course this manageable if not crazy fun life would not be allowed to continue. She took a long gulp of her beer as she opened the door which was currently being fervently knocked on.

"What!" Catra ground as she yanked it open.

"Catra," Adora said breathlessly. God, there was Adora, her cheeks were pink and hair mussed like she'd been running. She looked all discombobulated a look general only shared with Catra, just for her. Other people probably got this now, got to be close to her. She looked so much like her Adora frazeled, excited and tired. However, the fancy-ass coat was new.

"Hey, Adora," Was the only thing she could think to say. She leaned on the doorframe trying to keep her cool.

"Shadow Weaver got arrested," Adora said staring right into Catra's eyes

"Cool," Catra said just the name made her skin crawl and muscles tighten.

"I had to testify in court. It was hard. But I was wondering if you could too. They can also enter your medical records into evidence. We can put her away." Adora said.

Catra felt confused for a second. Then she was hit Shadow Weaver was gone, she wasn't in that house like a ghost. Adora was actually on her side for once. A wave of excitement and relief wash over her. Her best friend had her back, finally. Some old urge came over her and Catra leapt forward embracing Adora. But when the high wore off Catra let go. Like her hands had been burned remembering everything else. She stepped back and fell on her ass tripping over something on the ground.

She looked up at the distressed Adora from her place on the floor.

"Come in if you wanna," She muttered getting to her feet.

Scorpia and Entrapta were starring from the corner.

"You've met Scorpia, that's Entrapta," Catra said as she shut the door.

"I'm Adora" Adora shrugged.

"You the one who Catra likes to rant about," Entrapta said walking around Adora with her mad scientist face. "Many people involved with Hordak seem to find you powerful and even a past threat. They seem to think a 15-year-old who took down a grown man was impressive. I must agree speciesism is strong but lacks size and likely lacked more strength at a younger age. Conclusion."

"What is going on?" Adora said looking deeply uncomfortable.

"That's enough Entrapta." Catra sighed, "You can ask her about fighting techniques another time."

"If you can make effective use of a small knife what could you do with one of mine?" Entrapta said clapping her hands. She disappeared behind her door.

"Right," Adora said

"Sit down," Catra said pulling the blanket she used off on the couch cushions.

"So will you?"

"Will I what?" Catra asked.

"Testify, against Shadow Weaver."

"I don't know. I've been avoiding those people and school. I don't need them."

"Maybe you don't. But it's the right thing to do."

"Why do I care about the right thing?" Catra growled

"Then do it for revenge." Adora snapped.

"I do like revenge," Catra said leaning back on the couch. A chill calm slid over her. Killing the emotion that had roared up in her after seeing Adora.

"Good right. It's difficult to go through everything we've been through and courtrooms suck. But I think you can do it, just say what happened."

"Right I will." Catra shrugged.

"Alright. I'll text you the address and time to be there."

"Sure."

"Bye."

"Bye Adora."

After Adora left Catra curled on the couch pulling the blanket over her head. Shutting out the world, the cold that killed emotion seemed to leave her frozen all over.

Catra went to the courthouse and stood in front of the door Adora told him to go to. She knocked and was quickly engulfed by so much noise her hair stood on end and fought the urge to curl in a ball or run the fuck away. But what she got was she was supposed to explain all the abuse while questioning, a doctor also seemed really excited to enter her medical records into evidence. Which made Catra feel moderately ill, the idea of having her broken bones, concussions, infections threw up in front of the world.

The questioning from their side sucked enough. She described everything Shadow Weaver did, Carta kept meeting the death glare of the women she had never wanted to see again. It seemed even at this point the expression made her blood curdle. Then she had to be questioned by Shadow Waver's defender. Though he seemed to not really want to, just trying to trip her up on timelines, however, he did manage to call her a liar even if it was venomless. But Catra was gifted with the ability to shut off the implication of being a problem child. Even being called a liar or deserving couldn't shake her up. It was her time for revenge and fuck anyone trying to make her feel so small again.

After leaving the stand all of the audience was looking at her with pity. The stupid little girl hated by everyone, the terrified child who ran away from mommy, so pathetic she'd been abused by everyone she met. Never good enough, just a fuck up. But what they didn't get, she wasn't just a crying child anymore. They didn't seem to understand when you grow up in the constant violent war you don't always become some shrinking violet sometimes you're a soldier painted red.

The doctor took the stand explaining all the ex-rays pointed to violence and defensive wounds. The lack of proper or time medical care given. Hell her brain was apparently fucked all to hell due to concussion on concussion on concussion.

"These injuries could only be caused by abuse. But say could outside fights cause this degree of injury" The Corsseaminer asked.

"Some of them could be caused by fights. But I don't understand what six years old is picking fights with people who could snap her arm with one blow. Or wrenching wrist wounds. And the lack of care is also concerning."

"I know people often don't understand the severity of injuries and illness. I think jumping to malice is a bit unfair."

"Well no. Large infected wounds being left untreated on a child is legally neglect. Medications not ever being properly paid for shows willful maltreatment. The fact a 15-year-old girl tried to pay for penicillin with cash also shows the adult was not involved. The fact a seven-year-old had alcohol in their system also shows abuse."

"Ah, no further questions."

Catra did not even hear the closing arguments her brain blocked everything out. They had lunch in their prep room. It was a bunch of bad Quiznos sandwiches. For the most part, the others ignored her until Ms Ra dragged her into the hallway.

"What do you want?" Catra hissed

"I thought you'd want to have this conversation away from the others."

"What conversation?"

"Well, you seem to have dropped off the face of the planet. And technically you are still a minor, it's my job to get you into a new foster home."

Catra snorted this lady was delusional, "Yeah no. Not gonna happen."

"Well if you want to be emancipated. I recommend you come after this to a group home. You can apply while your there."

"I don't need you, or anyone. The idea you think I'd trust you people ever again is naive"

"Yes, I know you believe that. But the fact you came here, shows you have trust in the system."

"No, I don't. I did it for Adora and Lilly." Catra explained, then cringed. God, her mouth had decided to tell the truth unintentionally.

"I understand."

"No, you don't"

Before Ms Ra could reply they were called into hearing the jury.

"Your Honour. We have reached a conclusion. On the matter of child neglect and endangerment, we find her, guilty. On the counts of child abuse, we find guilty. On the charge of aggravated assault, we find her guilty."

Catra's breath caught in her throat.


	19. Will I Always Come Back? Part I: Adora

Adora didn't even know what to do after the trial ended. She had no mission anymore, it was a lack of purpose she had not seen coming. Survival was her goal as long as she could remember, now there was no fight left, no one to fix, no one attacking her. Her biggest concerns were actually dating and school. She could fret about finals and cram study like a normal kid. It should feel good, the fight was over, there was no more boogie man but she still felt scared and angry. She couldn't turn off her brain, couldn't relax for the life of her. How did her panic attacks and flashbacks get worse after the danger was gone? How was she more broken? More afraid behind the gated community walls surrounded by people who cared but it was more than she felt at the worst times before.

According to the psychiatrist, Ms Moon sent her to, was because her brain could actually process all that happened to after the danger was gone. But mostly she just felt like shit. It sucked that even when everyone was being kind to her she still might just freak out on them. Her mind and body wanted to fight someone, anyone. Including people who weren't a threat.

Everyone was nice about it though, tried to give her space if she needed it. But Bow still looked hurt when she stiffened at her hug but never said anything to her. Ms Moon looked a bit offended but didn't comment when Adora flinched if Ms Moon moved to fast or got to loud but didn't chide her. Glimmer only looked a little frustrated when Adora was too fidgety to sit with her.

Adora was sitting in her window, like a sappy film watching the spring rainfall in long sheets. Commiserating with the sky who was crying for her when she was so close to bawling but it wouldn't, couldn't let it happen.  
"Hey," Glimmer said softly.  
"Hi," Adora said Pulling her legs in. Glimmer took the silent invitation and joined her looking at the rain along with Adora.  
"I'm sorry Glimmer. I know I, I haven't been a good house guest or girlfriend."  
"You are going through some tough shit. I'm not mad at you for that."  
"What are you angry about then?" Adora said turning to face Glimmer.  
"You won't let me help. Pushing me away isn't the right way to do this." Glimmer said an edge sliding into her voice.  
"It's not your shit to have to deal with. I'm the one being so dumb it's not fair to put it on you."  
"Well I do have to deal with it, I love you! If you're hurting then I want to make it better. And yeah I can't carry it for you, but I can make it feel a bit lighter!"  
"I'm not even sure I know what's going on. I'm just fighting and running and I don't even know why anymore. It's like I'm itching to do something, anything all the fucking time. There is nothing to do anymore, I don't have a reason to be alive anymore."  
"Adora don't say that, please. Aren't your friends enough? Learning to do new things, help people, help Lily!"  
"I'm not trying to say you don't matter, of course, you all matter. But I don't have to provide any more. Protect anymore, work for anymore, clean up anymore. Like even when I was messing up I still mattered."  
"You matter so much. Lily needs you, Bow needs you, the soccer team needs you. I need you!"  
"How do I stop fighting? How do I stop being afraid? How do I stop running? I can't turn it off it's always there. I have to be perfect all the time, and I'm not doing that anymore. I can't be perfect and be like this."  
"I don't know how to stop it. But I don't need you to be perfect if you were you'd be a pain to hang out with." Glimmer gave her a sad smile.  
Adora barked a laugh, looking at Glimmer. Her tan skin and eyes dancing with love and life. Glimmer always cared, always tried to help her. Adora leaned forward and kissed her. Soaking up the comfort of the arms around her.  
"I love you," Adora said their foreheads touching arms still tangled in each other.  
"I love you too." Glimmer said.

After staying like that for a moment Adora's breath levelled matching Gillmer's.  
"I have a suggestion, let's go on a date!"  
"A date?" Adora said with a frown leaning on the wall hand still resting on Glimmer's leg.  
"Proper one. Get dinner and a movie, possibly after the movie we can get ice cream."  
"That sounds, really nice." Adora said, "But I'd hate to leave Lily for a super long time again"  
"I'll call Bow to watch her, she likes him better than the adults."  
"Alright, sounds good. Let's do that."  
Glimmer broke into a smile that was brighter than any star or neon sign could ever be.

Glimmer and Adora were at a Chili's having dinner. It was nice and not too fancy so they were comfortable. The food was just fine but the conversation was easy and wonderful. All about school, tv shows, their friends, and much of anything they could think of. The noise around them faded into the background, her "spidey senses" might still be thrumming in the back of her mind but it was much quieter than normal.

The movie was fun. Seeing a comedy was a good choice and the Lego movies were like the definition of being unlikely hilarious movies. Glimmer held her hand the whole time, whispering commentary on the movie into her ear. Glimmer's face being so close to her and breathing in her ear made Adora flush red every time.

They were the most cheesy couple ever and went to an ice cream shop. All the counters and machines in the shop were shiny chrome, the ice cream was behind glass with little labels with funny names for the flavours. All the walls were covered in cheesy 40/50s Americana and the workers' shirts were stripped. Then they were cliche as all hell sharing an ice cream sundae in a cosy booth watching the sunset on a may night that lit up the sky in pinks and oranges. Adora ate the cherry being the only one who likes maraschino cherries.

"Give me the stem." Glimmer said picking it from Adora's lips  
"Hey! Why?" Adora said,  
"Tie a knot in it, duh!" Glimmer said placing it in her mouth.  
Adora laughed at the face she pulled swishing it in her mouth. It was then oddly sex when she held it out on her tongue to show Adora. At that moment she understood why this was something people liked to show off. And it was cemented when Glimmer leaned over kissing her. The chocolate sauce flavoured mouth as she passed the stem to Adora's mouth

God, it was the best night. The rode home spring wind running through their hair and catching the scream/song lyrics of pop music snatching them away.  
" One taught me, love, One taught me patience, And one taught me pain, Now, I'm so amazing, I've loved and I've lost, But that's not what I see  
so, look what I got, Look what you taught me" Glimmer sang way too loud and way off key but the confidence was intoxicating and made Adora laugh uncontrollably she snorted.

Laying in her bed that night she stared at the ceiling which had been decorated with those sticky stars when Lily had seen them when they were buying some new furniture for their room.

Both girls now had their own wardrobe and desks. It was clear she thought it was the absolute coolest thing she saw and it matches her space-themed comforter. But lily had been too afraid to ask.

Lily now usually answer direct questions from Ms moon but avoided talking to her besides that choosing to only talk Adora and sometimes Glimmer. Just like Adora, the idea of asking for something they didn't actually need was terrifying. Lily because she never got things in general, and Adora was only ever gifted things she needed or someone else thought she would want, besides Catra giving her gifts. When they got ready for bed the next day they had seen the room glow with stars Lily had just about exploded with excitement giving an unprompted thank you to Ms moon.

Adora counted them to try and sleep. Lily was curled into her side breathing softly. It was good to have that presence not having anyone made her unable to sleep. The thrum of a sleeping heart reverberating through her and quiet sniffles and breath were the soundtrack she needed to ever sleep. Even if it wasn't the same as Catra it was still nice. The day had been sort of magical going on a date after school like a normal actual person.

The next day they were sitting in the living room. Adora leaned on Glimmer half asleep as Glimmer twisted her long blonde hair within her fingers when the doorbell rang making Adora sit up quickly.  
"I'm awake." She said  
Bow snorted under his breath from the other couch.  
"I don't wanna get up." Glimmer moaned staring at the doorway that led to the foyer.  
"Don't you're warm," Adora said letting her eyes close.  
"Ahhhh!" Lily's scream ran through the house.  
Adora jumped into action running out the room. Her brain and body already kicked into fight state her muscle tightening her heart racing. Then she saw Catra collapsed on the floor blood-stained shirt. Lily was kneeling on the ground tears streaming and looked completely shell shocked. Adora swore under her breath and dropped to knees rolling Catra over she had what looked like a knife mark into her stomach.  
"Glimmer!"Adora yelled  
"Yeah?" Glimmer asked nervously  
"I need clean water, rubbing alcohol, any gauze you have, bandages, Gatorade and towels."  
"Right." Glimmer said and ran out.  
"Bow help me get her to the couch." Adora ordered  
"Okay," Bow said voice cracking.  
Half carrying Catra to the couch who was slightly awake but wasn't speaking. Adora laid Catra out and ran her hair through her curly hair.  
"Bow get scissors."  
Adora's brain ran through the paces required to fix her. She stuck her tongue out the world around her fading as she tried to gauge how deep the wound was.

Not very deep more like a glancing blow, deep enough it was problematic but none of her organs were hit. However the bruise to her head was probably the real problem, Catra had gotten a lot of head injuries it tended to affect her pretty bad. Not to mention she had probably been treating her body like shit, as long as she could fight Catra didn't always care to sleep or actually take care of her own injuries.

The scissors appeared in her hands as she cut off the bottom of her shirt. Adora grimaced at the wound still didn't look too bad but the blood smeared on her skin still made Adora feel horrible she even heard Bow gag. She didn't know if it was the current wound or the clear old wounds and scars running across her stomach. A sick tie-dye of purple, red, green and yellow. Finally, Glimmer got back, she also let out a noise of surprise and disgust.

Adora cleaned the area wiping away the fresh blood. Poured the alcohol on the wound illicit sharp breaths from her friends and a long hiss from Catra whos whole body flinch around her abdomen causing another wine like a dying cat. Adora's task-focused mind still had a little space to notice an odd irony. It turned out cleaning people up after fights were essentially the same in their old bedroom lit by a half burned-out bulb and the moon as the brightly lit living room with the sun pouring through a window.

Afterwards, Adora sat back. Her own hands were now stained red and stung like hell from the alcohol running through the micro-cuts on her fingers. Catra had passed all the way out and Lily was leaning on Adora's side.  
"That was impressive and heartbreaking." Bow said with a thick sounding voice.  
"I had too." Was all Adora could get out her body and mind exhausted. Adora stayed there for a few hours. Till Catra herself woke up and looked around her eyes wide and muscles tense.

Adora reached behind her and passed the Gatorade and box of saltines Glimmer had acquired to try and get Adora to eat something. Catra obeyed as she used too. Drinking and eating enough to placate Adora.

"Why are you here?" Glimmer asked everyone turning to look at her.  
"I needed this." She gestured to her side, "I don't trust Scorpia or Entrapta to fix me up, but I couldn't do it myself."  
"You didn't want them to see you weak," Adora said staring at Catra.  
"I'm not weak," Catra said in a low growl.  
"Fine vulnerable for whatever. You didn't want to pass out in front of them." Adora muttered.  
Catra just gave a stiff nod.  
"New clothes?" Lily suggested softly.  
"Yeah, I can't do crop tops," Catra said stiffly.  
Adora was able to guide Catra to her room. Adora gave a weak smile to her friends when she closed the door in their face. Catra put on Adora's championship t-shirt that was lying on the dresser. It was too big having gotten a large shirt by accident. So it was long enough to hang right to her thigh.  
"I'll shower tomorrow," Catra said swaying slightly looking green in the face  
"Lay back down," Adora said grabbing her hand.

Catra did sit down but she didn't let go of Adora's hand. Adora didn't even think she just laid on the bed too and Lily followed curling between both of them. It never seemed to matter, they always ended up here.

Adora fell asleep without noticing not waking till Glimmer came inside that evening.  
"My mom is wondering why you're not at dinner," She said quietly.  
But her volume didn't matter the light from the hallway enough to wake all of them.

Catra staggered to her feet. Adora noticed Glimmer's face flash jealousy for a second Adora blushed.  
"What is going?" Catra muttered and then fell on Lily's bed with a squawk.  
"You came to my house bleeding. Adora helped you." Glimmer said.  
"Right." Catra said rubbing her head, "thanks"  
"You need to be careful. You don't want to rip the bandage off. And stay still, you know better than to try and run around after concussions." Adora sat down as she bit her lip she started to lift the shirt when Catra hit her hand.  
"Glitter or whatever is in here," Catra said,  
"Oh right sorry," Adora said.  
Glimmer grabbed sweat pants from the dresser and handed them to Catra, "Let Adora fix you up. I don't want you bleeding out or dying." She closed her eyes and Catra quickly put them on.

There was no sign of infection and the bleeding had mostly stopped so she still had to change the gauze. Adora noticed some injuries on her back.  
"Turn around," Adora said.  
"Why?"  
"You have new bruises and stuff on your back. I couldn't see them before."  
"Fine."

Catra turned around and Adora heard Glimmer gasp a bit and Catra flinched under her touch at the noise. It wasn't that bad just some scrapes and stuff. But then Adora realised it was probably old the scars littering Catra's back, Adora didn't even register them anymore which was probably odd, but some of these dated back since they met. It didn't phase her. Adora then thought that Glimmer hadn't seen her shirtless. She had scars on her back from fights she'd been in. How Glimmer would react to that if they ever did anything... sexual like...she'd end up telling her.  
"I'm done," Adora muttered and Catra pulled her shirt back over her head.

Four girls sat in a circle staring at each other Lily was sitting wide-eyed looking very confused, Glimmer looked really awkward and Catra was giving off an energy that almost felt like static electricity next to her. It was like a Mexican standoff with questions instead of guns.

"Okay!" Adora said, "what happened Catra?"  
"I got in a fight with the guy you almost murdered. Apparently, someone decided he was the right person for me to work with. He got mad when Entrapta noted he doesn't have an ear anymore so he attacked me."  
Adora grimace, "fucking hell."  
"Why did you come here?" Glimmer asked.  
"I said why I trust Adora to patch me up."  
"But aren't there hospitals or something?"  
"Don't like em. I also don't have the money and they might call somebody like the police or some shit. It's a lot harder to say stab wounds are an accident that bruises or a black eye."  
"But you threatened to stab her!" Glimmer shouted.  
"So?" Catra muttered standing up.  
"I'm lost." Glimmer said literally throwing her hands in the air.  
"She knew I would patch her up, I always do. Plus she needs someone who will force her to stay still. I assume your new friends don't understand your history of running into things when you get your head banged over. " Adora placed her hand on Catra's shoulder sitting her back down. To Adora's surprise, Catra actually leaned into her.  
"If we wait any longer Mom will come up here. I've been here for a half-hour!" Glimmer said glancing at her phone.  
"We're going to eat. Don't destroy anything." Adora said, Catra glared at them but she was clearly too tired for it to be scary.

Dinner was awkward but fast the food had gotten cold anyway.

They walked back upstairs but before she could open her door Glimmer stopped her.  
"What are you planning?"  
"What do you mean?" Adora asked, great someone had to ask her, she wasn't sure she knew what she was currently doing, the future was too far away to think through.  
"With the girl in your room!. Bow and I cleaned her blood off my floor!"  
"She needed help."  
"You don't even get along anymore, I didn't know you were still friends"  
"Look you don't get Catra. You don't understand."  
"Then help me!"  
"You don't stop caring about Bow when you fight."  
"My fights don't include knives. Also if he showed up like that I'm taking him to a doctor."  
"I just went into action I guess. I handled like I always do. I'll keep her here till she's safe and then she can leave if she wants to, or we can talk to your mom if she wants help."  
"Okay Fine. I'll hide a girl upstairs, should be fn. Like an easy fun quirky movie!"  
Adora laughed. It really wasn't. Nothing about Catra was ever easy.


	20. Will I Always Come Back? Part II: Catra

Catra was laying on the floor staring a the fan rocking on the ceiling she kept imagining it breaking from the bracket and crashing on her. She didn't want it to do that but the mental picture wouldn't leave her mind and she was a bit hypnotised. Possible the level of sleep deprivation was screwing with her mind a little bit. The whole business with the trial had more than a little fucked with her brain. The idea that Shadow Weaver couldn't hurt her anymore was hard to accept. Even when she had told the woman that while she punched her out, there was part of her that never thought it was true. The part of her that cried at everything and curled under blankets because they would protect her till Adora got home was still scared. But Catra did her best to make sure that part of her was locked down tight.

The room was filled with this almost mesmeric sound of Entrapta and Scorpia's breathing mixing with the rain on the window. It had been raining off and on for a few days. The world was damp and everything was grey and fuzzy. Entrapta's purple ribbons braided into her long brown ponytails the only real colour left. Catra wished it meant something, but she couldn't make it. She wished she could feel something other than anger and tired. She was pretty sure her personality was tired with left angry.

But even with that never-ending exhaustion. Catra had emancipated herself so now she didn't have to deal with that and was officially a dropout. It was a bit of a bittersweet idea. She hadn't really been a kid, possibly ever. The lines of scar tissue that she had gained at age five was a reminder of that. But now it was painfully clear she never would be a kid. She let out a small huff of air bitting on her knuckle to keep another noise inside.

Catra faded in and out of being half asleep for a while when her phone buzzed a loud noise. She muttered curse words under her breath. All three girls stumbled around getting dressed. Entrapta actually still went to school. And had to go home that afternoon so her parents wouldn't freak out. They were hypocrites managed to be gone almost all the time with work but when they were home they expected Entrapta there. They might as well be robots themselves all the way Entrapta talked about them. It was hard to know for sure though Entrapta was confusing so Catra might be missing something. Like how she was now trying to make their coffee pot into some kind of robot pot. Catra huffed she got dressed kind of stumbling around. Traded spots in the bathroom with Scorpia who gave her a smile with finger guns as a good morning. Catra stared at her hair for a second. She had no idea what she was ever meant to do with it. So she just put it back from her eyes with a headband letting it puff out how it liked. Fatigue rolled through her for a minute making her feel a little off balance. She leaned on the sink for a minute breathing in and out.

Catra composed herself and went into the living room/kitchen. She sat at the counter Entrapta had upgraded and now the coffee pot had its own little wheels and moved along the counter. It was actually pretty cool if not super practical. But Entrapta was smiling and cooing at it. A tired smile actually broke through Catra's lips. She picked up the pot and felt slightly bad the wheels kept turning like a bug with its feet in the air. Entrapta leaned over and flicked a switch stopping the robot. Catra finally got to pour herself some and ate the cheese toast Entrapta dropped in front of her. It was actually warm so quite good.

"Do you like it?" Scopira asked sitting next to her eating her own food.  
"Yeah, it's good," Catra answered.  
"Are you doing alright you seem a bit off."  
"I'm fine okay," Catra said.  
"Sorry. I'm just worried about you."  
"Yeah. Well, I can handle it."  
"I'm sure you can. You're very strong."  
"She is correct. It's distinctly disproportionate to your size." Entrapta said as she slurped one of her fizzy juices.  
"Thanks, I guess," Catra said. She was mostly used to Entrapta's strangeness, but she still couldn't always tell if something was a compliment or not.

Scorpia gave Catra a hug as she left for her job at a grocery store. Entrapta went to school giving Catra a distracted smile as she was simultaneously typing furiously into her phone. It was a well oiled and almost familiar function between them.

Catra got to the diner. She breathed out a long sigh shutting the door to the kitchen behind her. The room smelled like bread and bacon. It was a change from their rooms which always smelled of leftover weed, dust and stale sweat. Outside permeated this gross thickness that always hung in the city. Wet dog, care exhausted, and the smell of way too many people who crammed together. Sometimes with tinges of vomit or urine. But this place cut through all of that. It was always making new things so it never felt stale, but the organized chaos of the kitchen gave it a homey feel. There wasn't a manufactured comfort like the social workers and it wasn't trying to be new. Everyone bustled around her. She still wore their long sleeve shirts over her own. She had fewer injuries to hide now as they didn't read as abuse. But it was still more professional than the tank top she was wearing and could draw attention from her ripped and worn out pants.

It was nice to be in this old environment. It was comforting in a sense. It was the only thing she really had left. Most of it had been a misery but the diner still had some good feelings attached. After the Diner she had work from Hordak. She shed her shirt and walked out bagel held between her teeth. Going to the deal site almost gave her ease. The nervous energy that followed her like a cloud could fade. It was all about power in these situations. Caring for anyone else didn't come into the equation. She should have set the time so so Scorpia could come, but instead, Entrapta was going to meet her there. She was shrugging off a few periods to be there with her. But she could hold her own if combat arose. The cut they got from these was enough it wouldn't be necessary to cut her out of doing more street-level shit.

But when she got there she was horrified at who was meant to be giving her instructions and product. It was Clyde or something, he had been the one Adora almost killed and cut an ear off.  
"You." He muttered.  
"Yeah me. Let's get this over with." Catra crossed her arms letting her hand drift down hovering by her knife.  
"Okay. He waved his hand for his back up to pass something to catra.  
"WOW, you are missing an ear. That can't be good. And really distracting." Entrapta said squinting her eyes at him.  
"What you making fun of me?" Clyde bristled.  
"Well I can see the comedy but," Entrapta said.  
"Entrapa shut up!" Catra said turning to her with a pleading expression. As she opened her mouth she felt a pain on her side. She fell sideways to the wall doubling over in pain.  
Then to her goddamn horror, she was pulled out and slammed back into the wall harsh. She felt a fucking annoying wave of terror shock through her. Vomit rising in her throat as her body betrayed her locking up as she fell to the pavement. Breathing way to fast shaking, the shock ran through her.  
"Weak." The man muttered walking away as her eyes slightly glazed. Over.  
A pale Entrapata walked over to her. She fell to her knees her hand floating over catra.  
"Get the fuck away from me." Catra hissed.  
"Your injured and I fear the level of strength could damage your head"  
Entrapta's hand touched Catra's back. Catra hissed out loud. Shoving the girls away leaning on the wall. "Don't touch me"  
She stayed still her tears on her cheeks muscles tightening involuntarily.  
"Get the fuck out of here. Leave me the fuck alone" Catra shouted again waving her arm violent. Thankfully the scared girls ran away.

Catra hissed again as she stood up. She wandered as far as she could until she saw a bus. And Catra knew what she was about to do, and she was not proud of it. But there was only one person she wanted laying hands on her, especially her skin. She zipped her jacket all the way up hiding her wound before she boarded the bus. The bus ride made her feel even sicker. Stumbling off the couch she vomited up acid multiple times. She finally hit the mansion that was the stupid Glimmer girls house. Banging on the door her head was swimming. The door opens and all the world blacked out and he ears rang horribly.  
She half woke up as Adora and her dude friend dragged her to somewhere soft. She fell back into blackness. Her mind flitted in and out of consciousness vaguely aware of Adora doing her job. She didn't really know what happened until she felt the sting of rubbing alcohol. She reflexive flinched and tried to close around herself. A hiss escaping her mouth the pain drummed through her till she slept.

Catra woke up later. She noted the ceiling wasn't home, then a sharp pain running through her and head swimming she remembered. Right she had run to Adora after getting hurt. She chewed her lip for a moment before sitting up holding her newly bandaged side and noting her shirt had been cut up. Her own tan skin showing on her lower half of the stomach. Though she was currently more purple than brown.

Adora passed her the customary concussion food of Saltines and sports drink. She tried not to stare at the half-awake Lily and Adora watching her with exhausted expressions.  
"Why are you here?" Glimmer shouted causing Catra to look up at her.  
Catra through a second but was too tired to lie.

"Why are you _here_?" Glimmer asked everyone turning to look at her.  
"I needed this." She gestured to her new bandage, "I don't trust Scorpia or Entrapta to fix me up, but I couldn't do it myself." she didn't like explaining herself to someone who didn't know her.  
"You didn't want them to see you weak," Adora said.  
Catra remembered Shadow Weaver calling her that, and the bastard who did it that day. The fucking sick feeling of her skull slamming as the words followed her. "I'm not weak," Catra said her voice harsh as she looked away.  
"Fine vulnerable for whatever. You didn't want to pass out in front of them." Adora said in her placating voice.  
Catra was too exhausted to say much more just bobbing her head along.  
"New clothes?" Lily suggested softly.  
Catra looked at her ashen face, figured she should at least try to be light for the poor kid. "Yeah, I can't do crop tops,"

Being half-dragged up the stairs was rather indignant. And her mouth tasted of bile the whole tie trying to not to upchuck on the richest and cleanest looking floors she'd ever seen.  
They went into a room. Fancy beds covered the room. She noted Adora's clothes falling out of the dresser and Lily's stuffed animal on the bed. It was their room, god she had her own new home for real. Catra felt odd tracking dirt and blood into the room. He changed her clothes quickly to an overlong shirt she saw. Getting rid of messy clothes. But she realised she was still covered in dirt and blood under her skin.

"I'll shower tomorrow," Catra said, she was too tired to get clean right then and dizzy  
"Lay back down," Adora in her 'i'm in charge voice'  
Their hands interlocked, as she did what she was told Catra brought Adora down too. Not wanting to be alone but not wanting to say that. Lily climbed on the mattress too. The warmth was nice. She fell into sleep easier than normal. Even with the banging in her head and pain on her side, this was so much better.

A light hit Catra's eyes and her eyes flashed open. Her muscles tense.

"My mom is wondering why you're not at dinner," Glimmer said

Catra stood up. She didn't like the vulnerable feeling of laying with her stomach exposed.  
"What is going?" Catra said then she tripped over the bed and let out a weird noise as her side smacked into the bed.  
"You came to my house bleeding. Adora helped you." Glimmer said.  
"Right." Catra said, she knew that she meant right now, with Glimmer's mom and whatever else people were doing then, "Thanks,  
"You need to be careful. You don't want to rip the bandage off. And stay still, you know better than to try and run around after concussions." Adora said as she walked over.  
Adora started to lift up the shirt catra was wearing. But even when she was fuzzy in the brain she didn't really want this random chick to see her underwear.  
"Glitter or whatever is in here," Catra said smacking Adora's hand away. Her roommate(s) had never seen her naked and they shared a bathroom.  
"Oh right sorry," Adora said.  
Glimmer shoved pants at Catra saying"Let Adora fix you up. I don't want you bleeding out or dying."

Glimmer closed her eyes and half turned away. Catra barred her teeth and put them on. She sat back down harshly grabbing her head again as Adora fixed the dressing. She wanted to go back to sleep, or something she felt like shit.  
"Turn around," Adora said cutting into her miserable thoughts.  
"Why?" Catra whined  
"You have new bruises and stuff on your back. I couldn't see them before."  
"Fine."

She heard the gasp drip from Glimmer's voice. Catra bit her lip, yeah she knew her back was just her whole horror of her childhood on display in scars. Adora's hands felt nice though. She finished with leaving her hand whole palm against her back. The warmth was wonderful. She turned around, shoulder brushing on Adora's. She breathed out softly. The tension was in the room, but all she wanted was for Glimmer to go away. But no luck.

"Okay!" Adora said, "what happened Catra?"  
"I got in a fight with the guy you almost murdered. Apparently, someone decided he was the right person for me to work with. He got mad when Entrapta noted he doesn't have an ear anymore so he attacked me." Catra explained  
Adora said, "fucking hell."  
"Why did you come here?" Glimmer asked.  
"I said why I trust Adora to patch me up." Catra sighed.  
"But aren't their hospitals or something?"Glimmer pestered.  
"Don't like em. I also don't have the money and they might call somebody like the police or some shit. It's a lot harder to say stab wounds are an accident that bruises or a black eye." Catra said  
"But You threatened to stab her!" Glimmer screamed  
Catra felt herself wince. Why did she have to be so fucking loud? Her head hurt, loud noises didn't make migraines go away! It also sent up all her danger flags, making her muscle itch to move.

"So?" Catra said. She got to her feet.  
"I'm lost." Glimmer said dramatically  
"She knew I would patch her up, I always do. Plus she needs someone who will force her to stay still. I assume your new friends don't understand your history of running into things when you get your head banged over. " Adora said her hand landing on Catra's shoulder.  
Catra melted under the touch falling into Adora. Closing her eyes. She didn't think she had ever been more exhausted. Which was really impressive she'd been really tired before  
"If we wait any longer Mom will come up here. I've been here for a half-hour!" Glimmer said.  
"We're going to eat. Don't destroy anything." Adora said.

Catra whined as Adora stood up. She tried to shoot Adora an angry look for leaving her, but Adora actually smirked at her. Obviously wearing an overly large shirt sitting on a little girl's pink bed was not scary. As Lily left though she kissed Catra's cheek which was really sweet. She was glad Lily didn't hate her.

Catra climbed back into Adora's bed curling under the blankets.


	21. I Think I Love You, Part I: Glimmer

Glimmer was lying to her mother. It wasn't something she was against as a rule, but it was harder this time because it was something that could easily go very wrong. Thankfully it was Sunday so school wasn't a problem, and her mom left But they had spent breakfast with a clearly overly agitated Adora and Lily had been completely quite like she did when they first came. But now it was likely she didn't want to share their secrete. Glimmer was trying to act normal but it was hard to not act a little bit strange.

She got a few strange looks from her mother, but in a stroke of luck, she was called away for something work-related so they could all breathe out. Adora was taking some food up to Catra and Glimmer followed. She was uncomfortable with all of this. She was hiding a girl in her room, and not even for fun reasons. She was doing it because Adora didn't think sending her still really injured...friend, away with no help would be good. And Glimmer did agree it would be a dick move. But considering how much pain Catra had put Adora through she didn't trust her. And she might be jealous, just a bit.

Catra might actually look worse that day. Her brown skin was tinged in grey and Adora had to dump a trash can with vomit it in it to the displeasure of all of them more than once. Glimmer felt slightly bad for being pissed at someone who looked like hell warmed over.

So she just sat with the other two quietly. As Catra at the toast and drank some of the juice. Trying to pretend this wasn't an unnerving or uncomfortable experience in the slightest.

Adora grabbed her phone from her pocket. She muttered something under her breath the only word Glimmer caught being "fucking" and "time"  
"You okay?" Glimmer asked.  
"I forgot we had a soccer game today." Adora said, "I hate not going but..."  
"I'll be chill," Catra said turning so her feet dangled over the edge of the bed. Standing up she grabbed her head and slightly tumbled. But then stuck her hands over her head, "see totally fine."  
"You're swaying." Adora said, "And you threw up like 10 minutes ago. And you still have an unhealed knife wound."  
Adora sounded weary listing off these things.  
"I don't want you to miss your shit," Catra said.  
"I get that. You still like me and your trying to be nice"  
"What? No, I don't! I just don't need you."  
"Says the girl who limped all the way to see me, while bleeding from her gut."  
"Hey, it was you or Scorpia and Entrapta. Scorpia is a great back up and Entrapta is a tech whizz but I don't trust them to stitch me up"  
"Exactly you needed me, and now you're being nice because, you like me," Adora said with a kind of smug smile.  
"I don't like you!" Catra retorted  
"Whatever. But I'm not going to choose soccer over you." Adora said with a hand wave  
"Again" Catra muttered sitting down laying her head in her hands with a groan.  
"You attacked me." Adora snapped, but she looked almost more hurt than mad.  
"I have a plan. Adora can go to her game, and I can look after Catra." Glimmer cut in.  
"What?" Both of the other girls said.  
"I can take care of someone with the flu. I can stop her from falling over. And you can fix the dressing before you leave." Glimmer surmised.  
"Adora' Catra whined.  
"Look. Adora you don't want to leave her without protection, I can watch her. Catra you don't want to feel guilty for keeping her from leaving. This solves both those problems."  
Adora looked apprehensive but nodded.  
"Fine by me then," Catra grumbled.

Adora left them listing off things Catra wasn't allowed to do with a head injury, and to be careful about what she ate. And even added things about Lily she already knew.  
"Look I can do this Adora. Trust me?"  
"Right. Course I do." Adora said, "Don't burn the house down."

Glimmer made her way back up to Catra's room after glancing in on Lily who was watching some cartoon on the big tv. She had decided she should get to know Catra, there had to be some reason Adora liked her so much. And they hadn't ever met under good circumstances.

Glimmer sat on the desk Chair and met eyes with Catra who was looking up from her phone which was beat to all hell and had to be fished out of the garbage where it had ended up after being left in her pants pocket.

"I don't need a babysitter," Catra said.  
"I know. But we don't know anything about it each other." Glimmer replied.  
"I'm catra, I like long walks on the beach and saving puppies." She said sarcastically making a face and batting her eyelashes.  
Glimmer rolled her eyes, "Look you don't have to be a bitch about this. I figured we could give each other a second chance. Because we're not fighting right now. And Adora isn't here for us to fight for attention from."  
"I don't fight for her attention"  
"Yeah, you do." Glimmer said.  
"Whatever."  
"Look, you can ask me something first. Then I ask you. We both have to answer and have to be truthful. That way we can both have blackmail on the other person."  
Catra looked apprehensive but nodded, "Why did you let me stay?"  
"Oh um. Because I don't exactly want to be responsible for you like dying on the street. And Adora wanted you here." Glimmer said, surprised that was her first question, "How long have you known Adora?"  
"Almost twelve years," Catra answered. She shifted to sitting all the way up wincing. "Are you dating Adora?"  
"Yes, I am. What's your favourite colour?"  
"Red. Have you had sex with Adora?"  
"Wow, personal." Glimmer huffed. She felt her face flush red. She thought Adora was hot and all, but she was not ready for that yet.

"We have to answer and truthfully. Those were your rules right?"  
"Fine. No, we haven't."Glimmer thought for a second. She really wanted to know if Catra and Adora had ever had a thing. The way they were clingy with each other, sleeping in the same bed, the fact Catra slept in just a t-shirt with her. But she also needed to know when she planned to leave. Asking if they were thing was probably more likely to get her blacklisted. Adora always ended up spluttering and saying Glimmer didn't get it when she asked, Catra would likely be just as wigged out by it. "How long are staying here?"

"Can't wait to get rid of me?" Catra teased, "I Don't know. It will depend if I heal quickly. Concussions keep fucking me up more the more I have. Also whenever you and Adora kick me out, or your mother realises I'm hiding out here I guess. Do you Love Adora?"  
Glimmer, "Yes I do. Do you?"  
Glimmer winced at her own question, but the answer and question had come to her so quickly she had not thought it through.  
Catra looked blankly at her, "What do you mean?  
"Adora. Do you love her? And you have to answer."  
"Yes."  
"Wait, what?" Glimmer was somewhat surprised that she had answered, and truthfully.  
"Yes, I do love her." Catra looked away from Glimmer her hand drifting over where the knife had cut into her.

Catra's face wasn't made of the sharp edges of anger or pain Glimmer was used to. Catra looked like she was just a kid like the rest of them. She had seen her smile, and look sad and it did change Glimmer somewhat. It was easier to understand this person was someone Adora would do anything for. But Glimmer was still concerned, she knew how much danger Catra did represent, to Adora.

"As in like love-love?" Glimmer asked.  
"Not your turn for a question. My question is, how bad do you think your mom will hurt us if she finds me? Like what should I brace for?"  
"She might yell. But she won't hurt you." Glimmer said a pang of sadness ran through her that it was Catra's assumption she would get beat. It made her remember how Anxious Adora had been when she first met Glimmer's mom. But she did need to know if Catra and Adora were a thing, "Okay now, do you love Adora romantically or just like platonic love?"  
"I honestly don't know. I can't say I stopped loving her. But it's just so fucked now. How has Adora been since we quit talking and the shit with Shadow Weaver?"  
"On edge, anxious, flashbacks all that PTSD stuff. But getting better I hope. Have you and Adora had sex?"  
Catra snorted, "No. Unless she got some in the past few months, I think she's still a virgin. Never did get as drunk as me at parties."  
Glimmer watched a shadow pass over Catra's face and she seemed to stare off into space. "Uh umm, Favourite singer?"  
"Taylor Swift." Glimmer answered  
"God basic," Catra replied  
"Don't judge." Glimmer said, a real smile crossed her face and she was pleased Catra returned the smile even if it was brief. "What was Adora like when she was little?"

"Oh god." Catra looked off into space again, "Really not that different. Always thought she could be a superhero, or a Disney princess one of the two. She had the whole orphan plus tragic backstory plus heart of gold thing going for her. Always the best at everything, super perfectionist, irresistible to all the adults and the other kids. And so fucking protective and wanting to control everything. Always loved all of it."  
"Yeah, a of that sounds like my Adora." Glimmer replied.  
"But what the hell would you know?" Catra said her face turning back into hard edges.  
"That my question?" Glimmer shot back, "Then here you go. I know you broke her heart by what you did. I know she would do anything to protect people. I know you're wrong about her loving it. She doesn't even think she's worth it when she can't do things perfectly. I know she's struggling so much just like you are. I know she just as confused as all of us. And I know that heart of gold is real, and if any of us could be even close to as good as Superman she's second only to Bow in goodness."  
Catra glared at her, "what's my question?"

Glimmer breathed in trying to calm herself down for a moment. "Did you ever like Adora romantically?"

Catra glared deeper, Glimmer didn't even know that was possible, a better look of scorn than her mother had.

"Yeah probably did. But other stuff always mattered more. She was my everything. I had nothing and nobody else. So I probably loved her in every way there was."

Glimmer swallowed deeply. A tiny bit of guilt twinged in her, taking away someone's everything felt kind of shitty. Even if she did rationally know it was Adora's choice and not her fault.

They both jumped when Lily came running in. She danced on her feet in front of Glimmer.  
"What?" Glimmer asked  
"Can I have a snack."  
"Oh umm sure course you can."  
"Can I have graham cracker"  
"sure?"  
"And chocolate milk?"  
"Sure."  
And she quickly turned and left as quickly as she had burst in.  
"Okay, I don't think I ever had that much energy. Catra said  
"Or maybe we're just getting old." Glimmer replied.  
"Yeah probably," Catra said.  
Glimmer looked at Catra who was laying back with a grimace on her face.  
"I'm going to make sure Lily doesn't cover the whole kitchen in Nesquik."  
"Have fun," Catra muttered with a hand wave.

Glimmer walked to the kitchen. Lily had actually managed to make her lunch with only minimal chocolate over the counters, most of it seemed to be smudged around her mouth. Glimmer sat down next to her grabbing a graham cracker.  
"Hey!" Lily said.  
"You aren't going every cookie do you?"  
"No," Lily said  
"Then let's share them."  
"I'm in first grade, not kindergarten I know how to share."  
"Uhu" Glimmer said smiling at Lily.  
"Am I your family.?" Lily asked.  
Glimmer's thoughts seemed to stop like she'd hit a brick wall.  
"Ahhh," Glimmer said, staring at these big glassy eyes framed by her curls with milk smudges around her mouth. Her hand reached for a napkin without thought. As she leaned forward she realised that her now unconscious instinct to clean up her face meant that yes, yes she was.  
When she leaned back she smiled at the younger girl, "You bet. You're absolutely my family."  
Lily beamed and Glimmer brought her into a hug causing the little girl to giggle and squirm.  
When she let her go she stuck her tongue out at Glimmer and then laughed her eyes dancing making Glimmer's heart swell.

Glimmer checked on Catra a little while after and Catra was still sleeping. Glimmer ended up watching Mulan in the living room with Lily who had smacked glimmer with her arm more than once as she bounced and waved her arms as he excitedly watched the movie.

Glimmer noticed Adora leaning on the Door frame watching them.  
"Adora's home." Glimmer told Lily.  
Lily jumped up and ran to meet Adora who hugged her.  
"Glimmer watched Mulan with me."  
"I can see that."  
"She let me have chocolate milk."  
"Sounds fun"  
"She stole my crackers"  
"Did she?"  
"Yup"  
"Have you had real food?"  
"Is mack and cheese real food?"  
"Yes."  
"Then I did for lunch.'  
"What about dinner?"  
"It's only five Adora. The cooks are making Dinner tonight when mom gets home" Glimmer said.  
Adora leaned in and kissed her deeply, Glimmer felt her heart flutter as Adora's arms pulled her tighter in. When their lips parted Glimmer smiled, it was the most amazing feeling even if Adora was sweaty.

"Aww," Lily said with a big smile, "I'm so glad you guys love each other."  
"And we love you too." Glimmer said.  
"Do you?" Lily turned to Adora.  
"Of course I do. You, me, Glimmer we're family right?"  
"And Bow?"  
"And Bow." Glimmer agreed.  
Lily glanced at the stairs but said nothing. It was likely meant to be unnoticed, even if it was clear what she was thinking Glimmer and Adora granted her the privacy not to bring it up. Glimmer also noticed her mother was left out of this list of family, she'd have to work on that.  
"Finish the movie with me?"  
"Well, I have to shower. You guys finish up. I'll be back down for food."  
"You like food more than me?" Glimmer joked.  
"I like food more than probably anyone. I would join the dark side for a cookie."

Glimmer rolled her eyes and sighed. Sitting watching the end of the movie, Glimmer felt good. Adora was still confusing to her in some ways, so much of her past and present was not something she really got. But kissing and hugging Adora, spending time with Lily felt like home. All of them together, It was right.


	22. I Think I Love You Part: II Catra

Catra woke up when she heard a squeaky sound. Looking around her vision was fuzzy as she rubbed her eyes, not fulling taking in the surroundings.  
"Oh sorry, Catra. This dresser drawer is loud," Adora said  
"Hey Adora," Catra said leaning backwards.  
"You sleep okay?" Adora said as she took off her mud-streaked uniform.  
"Kinda," Catra said as she laid back closing her eyes.

Catra crossed her arms across her chest hugging herself. She really wanted Adora to lay with her. The previous night with Adora and Lily with her, she slept better than she had in forever. She had been the least scared in forever knowing Adora was with her. That kind of sucked though. Being reminded that there was something, someone, that could make her feel even just a bit better, safer.

They both jumped when Catra's phone started vibrating on the bedside table. Catra picked it up, surprised someone was actually calling her. Who calls people? Oh, that's who.  
"Hello," Catra said.  
"Catra! Oh good, are you okay?" Scorpia asked.  
"Yeah, I texted you this morning," Catra said.  
"But I wanted to hear your voice!" Scorpia said.  
Catra smiled a bit shaking her head. Scorpia was funny, and the intention was sweet.  
"When are you coming back here?" Scorpia asked.  
"Probably today", Catra stood up and felt very dizzy.

When she tried walking forward she stumbled and crashed into the wall grimacing. She rubbed her head, biting her lip to handle the pulsing pain in her brain. Her ears rang slightly and she ground her teeth together.

Adora came over, only half dressed with an extremely annoyed expression. She pulled the phone from Catra's hand.  
"She will not be going anywhere tonight." Adora said, "She still needs to let herself heal. And as her current caretaker, she will not be going anywhere that far away when she can't even walk straight, or move without pain."  
Catra felt herself pouting. "I do what I want," she Catra mumbled  
Adora stuck her tongue out at Catra. Catra stuck her tongue out back at Adora.

Adora passed the phone back to her,  
"You didn't tell me you were that hurt. Stay where you are and heal well. But come back soon, Entrapta is great but I really don't understand robots." Scorpia said way too loud.  
"Alright, I will," Catra replied, "See you soon."  
Catra hung up dropping her arm to the side almost dropping her phone in the weak grasp. Her legs also felt weak and unstable.  
"She cares about you," Adora said nodding her head.  
"Yeah, Scorpia is a pretty nice person."

Catra stiffly sat down on the bed she let out a hiss as a stabbing pain shot up her side. Her midriff felt hot and stung when she moved. Shutting her eyes tight she breathed through the pain, not the worst she'd ever felt.

She froze when she felt Adora's forehead lean on hers. Adora took her hands off the wound holding them tight. Catra kept her eyes closed not wanting to break the spell. She was glad now that Adora made her feel safe again. There was something that felt like magic that Adora had let her in, had wanted to help her. Bruised feelings, broken promises a life lived in fear. None of it was gone, but the warmth and the way their heartbeats synched up as they breathed together made Catra feel better than she had in such a long time. Tears rolled down her cheeks as her breathing hitched and hands shook just a bit.

Sooner than Catra wanted Adora pulled back but their fingers stayed laced together.  
"I have to check the dressing on your stomach."  
"Okay," Catra replied she hated that her voice sounding thick and full of emotion. She cleared her throat and breathed slow trying to get her emotions back under control.

When Adora came back with the first aid kit. She wiped tears of Catra's face without saying a word, Catra was very appreciative of that. Changing the bandage hurt more this time. The half heald site hurt way more the next day which was stupid. Adora put the box on the dresser let out a soft sigh and turned back to Catra,

"Sorry I stole your phone," Adora said  
"It's fine," Catra said feeling dizzy again when she tried to move.  
"How was your day? Glimmer and Lily seemed to be having a good day" Adora said sitting on the bed.  
"I had an... interesting conversation with your girlfriend."  
"Oh," Adora said, she looked away at the ground.  
"It wasn't bad. I don't think she left pissed off at me."  
"Oh, that's good. I don't want you to hate each other." Adora said relaxing back on the bed.  
"Yeah." Catra leaned back next to her. She shut her eyes again. Her brain still hurt from the whole injury thing combined with stupid emotions.

"I'm sorry," Adora said, this time her voice so soft it was hard to even hear.  
"For what?"  
"I broke my promise. I didn't want to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you."  
"I'm sorry too. For ya know yelling and pulling a knife on you. And because, I did, or thought I did want to hurt you. I was so angry and confused. I didn't know what I was supposed to do" Catra clenched her fingers into her palms. Hating herself for what she had felt.  
"I get it. Living here with all these people. I don't understand half the time. That Ms Moon doesn't berate or manipulate her kids. Her office actually has papers and not just alcohol and cigarettes. Everything is so different. And I wanted it all so bad. I want to belong here, I want to be good enough to belong here." Adora's voice broke at the end.  
"You are good enough. And I shouldn't have done that shit said those things. I left too. I was pissed and I'm still mad. I'm always mad and tired."  
"I get the tired feeling. And yeah, don't do that again. It was mean, you sounded like all the people who hurt us."

Catra winced, but thinking back it was true. She had been way too good at emotionally manipulating and hurting Adora. She knew what would hurt most. It was cowardly, and she knew that. It was like this warped nightmare them fucking going at each other like that. They knew how to break the other one worse than anyone else could.

"If we ever get in a fight again. We'll both be armed. And facing each other. I won't like, destroy you emotionally."  
Adora scoffed, "Sound fair. Honour among thieves right?"  
"Exactly," Catra said the ghost of a smile crossing her lips.

She gazed the ceiling, the weird sticker lights on the ceiling started to glow an artificial alien yellow but were framed in the night sky that still had pink and purple dancing through it. She loved sunsets because she was a stupid sap. When they could see it from the hill it always felt like home, a world light aflame with raging reds and purples blending into the vastness of the night sky. Or even when the two of them would scribble with crayons or kinda sorta do math homework one cross-legged on the bed the other in the window seal. That sunset was always hazy from the smog the backdrop to the sprawling neighbourhood of the old fading brick buildings and apartment building with faded paint. This new light was different from the other two, dotted with the little lights in the room and filtering through giant oaks.

"I've gotta go get dinner." Adora sat up with a grunt, "I'll sneak something back here later."  
"Okay," Catra replied.

She was alone again. Alone with her fear and confusion. Catra still didn't belong in this house, in this world. She didn't really want to be here either. She liked being with Adora again though. Catra knew she'd go back to work and get back into the pattern she'd been in. It would all be fine, she'd know Adora didn't totally hate her and move on. But a small part of her thought she and Adora could care for each other again, that they didn't have to say goodbye.


End file.
